Code Geass: A Tale of Knights
by CaioOP1985
Summary: This is the tale of how a man without memories changes the world around him.
1. Chapter 1

1: The Birth

**Unknown Place**

I run. That's the first thing that I do as soon as I wake up. I have no idea why I run or why I should run, but I do it. Looking back, I see no one coming after me, but I continue to run. No matter what I think, there is the feeling that, if I stop running, something bad might happen, so I keep doing it.

I have no memories of who I am or what I am doing wearing such clothes: white ones, with a big sleeve and belts all over it. I pass through a big arc and enter the grounds of some huge place, but I am not looking around in details.

After some time, I hear voices, so I hide myself in some brushes along the way. Hidden, I see a blonde girl, probably around eighteen, walking around with a black haired boy, around the same age as her. I have no idea why I am hiding myself, but I have this tiny piece in the back of my head telling me that it is a bad idea to get caught.

"Sorry for the sudden calling, but you skipped class earlier, so that makes us even, right?" The blonde girl says to the boy.

"So I can't avoid it then? How many times do I have to tell you…?" The boy says, sharply, but he is interrupted by the girl, who probably saw me.

"Hey, what are you doing in the brushes?"

Shit! She saw me! I get out of the brushes to flee from the scene, but the mix of fatigue, confusion and fear finally get to me and I fall to the ground, feeling my consciousness slipping away from me.

* * *

"Hey, are you alright?" Milly says, going at the silver-haired boy who just collapsed in the floor.

"He isn't a student, is he? He is not wearing…" Lelouch recognizes the clothes he is wearing. "What in…?"

"We can't just let him here. Let's go and take him to the nursery."

"Then help me take him there." Lelouch says, grabbing one of the arms of the stranger.

"I am just a fragile girl, so you carry him." Milly says, giving him a teasing smile.

"What? Are you kidding me?" Lelouch seems offended by it.

"Of course I am serious. Now, work!"

"Sometimes I believe you are just a slave lord." Lelouch says, carrying the mysterious man to the nursery. "You will pay for this… later."

* * *

**Ashford's Nursery**

I open my eyes to find myself looking at a ceiling, in a comfortable bed. I blink some times, trying to figure out how I ended up here, but everything is blank in my mind. Then I remember that I saw a boy and a girl and they…

Realizing that they probably saw me, I think that they must have brought me here, to this nursery. I look around and I see the same girl sitting in a chair right at my side, reading a book with a red leather cover. She doesn't notice that I am awake already, so I think of telling her.

But something in the back of my mind stops me from doing it, the same strange sensation I have been feeling since I woke up earlier. Could I trust her? It is true that she must have helped me by bringing me to this nursery, but I have never seen her before, so I can be a little suspicious about her.

"Oh." Somehow she notices that I am awake and gives me a warm smile. "Welcome back."

"Where am I?" I ask her, trying to sit down in the bed.

"Everyone, come in here, he is awake now!" The girl shouts to someone outside the room. Several people wearing the same uniforms enter the nursery.

"Your face says that you don't know where you are. Well, we are the ones who will be asking the questions around here." The same boy that I saw before, the black haired one, speaks to me, in a tone a bit too aggressive.

"Stop antagonizing him, Lelouch! You'll scare him talking like that." The blonde girl who stayed with me speaks to him. "It's alright; you don't need to be worried about him at all. Just ignore him, since he is not so scary."

Somehow, I doubt what the girl says about this Lelouch. My instincts tell me that, of all the people inside the room, he is the most dangerous of them all. I don't know why am I thinking this, but I recognize a predator when I see one, and this Lelouch seems exactly like one, for some reason.

"Before I forget: I am Milly Ashford, president of Ashford Academy's school council and the one who helped you."

"Ashford… Academy…" I say, still a bit confused by why she helped me and by Lelouch's behavior.

"Yep. Anyway… after you fainted, we carried you here, where you slept for several hours. I was worried about you."

"Worried about me?" Having someone worried about me is quite… nice, actually.

"Of course! We had a nurse examine you while you were blacked out and all that she said was that you were tired, nothing else. You must have been doing intense things to make you faint like that." She says, sitting at my side, in the bed. "In any case, It is a little hard to speak with you without calling you something, so tell us your name."

I have no idea what my name is, seriously. I have no memory from before waking up in the middle of the city. I close my eyes, trying to force my brain to remember what my name is and, after a herculean effort, I remember it.

"Rai… my name is Rai."

"Rai, is it?" Milly says, looking at him. "What an interesting name."

"So, who exactly are… ergh." Lelouch starts to speak, but Milly elbows him in the ribs.

"Before we ask him anything, we should introduce ourselves, don't you think?" She points her finger at Lelouch. "You start, since you are so eager to speak."

"Lelouch Lamperouge." He says, looking away from me with his purple eyes. Lelouch is probably just a little taller than me and is pretty thin.

"I am Rivalz, Rivalz Cardemonde." A guy with blue hair and grey eyes smile at me, a warmer reception than the one I received from Lelouch, that's for sure.

"My name is Shirley Fenette. Nice to meet you!" A orange haired girl says to me, with her green eyes showing some kind of affection that resembles Milly.

"I am Kururugi Suzaku. It's a pleasure to meet you, Rai." The last man in the room, a brown haired with green eyes, bows to me, showing some respect.

"Now Rai, could you tell us who are you and what are you doing here?"

That is the problem: I have no idea who am I or what am I doing here. Before fainting in the school's grounds, I was running because I knew, somehow, that I was in danger. Now this feeling is gone, leaving so many questions behind: what was so dangerous that, even without any recollection of it, would scare me so much? What am I doing here in the first place?

"I don't know…" I say, trying to be the most sincere that I can.

However, there is one thing I remember, clear as day: about my right eye and what it could do. If I give a person an order, any order, anyone who hears it will do as I demands, no matter the order. I don't know how I got this power, but I am pretty sure that it is better to not tell anyone until I figure out how to completely control it.

"So… are you saying that you lost your memory?" Suzaku says, looking worried.

"Sounds like it to me." Rivalz says, thoughtful.

"Could be Amnesia? This isn't good…" Milly says, in a sad tone.

"Then we should hand him over to the police." Lelouch says, but I notice that his toe is not as harsh as it was before. "They can protect him and help him in any way."

I don't like this idea, simply because that part of my brain that keeps telling me of dangers say that this is… well, dangerous. Somehow, I want to keep the biggest possible distance from people related to the government… even if I have no idea where I am to be afraid of it.

"I have an excellent idea: why don't you stay at Ashford while your memories are gone?"

"What…?" Me and Lelouch are getting along better, since we said that at the same time.

"This is a good idea, President!" Rivalz says, happy with her idea.

"Idiot! Don't agree with something before giving it any thought!" Lelouch says to him, alarmed.

"No one needs to be worried: I got everything ready for him. Grandfather granted permission for him to stay for as long as he needs." Milly says, happy.

"President… just like always, you just do things for your own amusement." Lelouch says, sighing and putting his hand over his face. "Sometimes I don't know how to act to your behavior."

"Don't worry, everything will be fine, I am sure of it. Besides, he doesn't seem to be a bad person, does he?" Shirley says, smiling a little.

"Just say yes so we can settle this once and for all." Milly says, looking at the confused me.

I must say that, no matter what I was about to answer, it would make no difference at all. Milly seems to be the kind of person who gets everything she desires, no matter what. So all I had to say is a confirmation of her wish.

"Like always, the student council is helpless against her decisions." Lelouch says, with a much lighter tone. "Welcome to Ashford, I guess."

"So it is decided." Milly says, happy as a puppy. "To enroll the school, you must register in the secretary and find a sponsor, which will be me. Now let's introduce the rest of the people of the student council: the one with glasses is Nina Einstein and the quiet redhead is Kallen Stadfelt."

"Hello…" Nina says, looking away, terribly red.

"Nice to meet you." Kallen says with a soft tone, bowing her head a little.

"And last but not least, the cute girl sitting in the wheelchair is Nunnaly, Lelouch's sister."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Rai." Nunnaly says, without opening her eyes.

"By the way." Milly whispers in my ear. "Touches her in any strange place… forget it, touch her without Lelouch consenting and you are probably dead."

"I will… remember that…" I say, thinking of what he would do with me, even if I weren't planning to do anything.

"Now, the last thing that needs to be taken care of is the rule that says that every student has to engage at least one club activity. Since I am your sponsor, I will accept you in the Student Council." Milly says.

"That's okay… I guess…" I say, finding strange the look Lelouch gave me.

"Expect a lot of paper work and to give in to every demand she makes." Lelouch says, giving the first smile Rai ever saw him doing.

"Okay everyone, now we should all get some sleep." Milly says, getting up and looking at the rest of the people in the room. "Rai, there's a bathroom at that door with some pajamas for you. Just leave your clothes in the basket that someone will wash them for you. Tomorrow I will give you some more clothes and a tour of the school. Also, ask any of us if you need anything, alright?"

"Alright." I say to her.

After everyone leaves the room, excited by the entrance of a new member in the council (maybe not Lelouch, not too much at least). I decide that I should take a bath before sleeping, so I go to the bathroom Milly spoke of and enter it.

As the hot water pass through my body, I think of what am I going to do tomorrow. Sure, I can stay here until my memory is back, but then what? I think that, without any memory, you can't exactly plan for the future, so I will just wait until I get them back.

Putting a towel around my hip, I look at myself at the mirror after cleaning the water from it. I just realize that this is the first time that I see my own face after losing my memories and all that I see is a stranger there.

I have a silver hair, not too short, but not long either. My wet hair covers my right eye, so I take it out of the way and I look right at my own blue eyes, seeing a confused expression on those eyes, like they are hoping for something that it is not there. I touch my face and all my head, hoping to find something that I can remember about it, but there is nothing I can get from doing this.

I doubt that a lot of people around the world could feel the same way as I am right now: like a stranger in his own body. Nothing in the person looking at me from the mirror is familiar or brings back anything. As I look at it, I start to wonder if I still have parents, or brothers, or any relative at all.

Are they similar to me? Different? Do we get along well or we argue a lot? Where are they now? Do they even exist after all? Those are questions I cannot find any answer to, no matter how I approach the subject at hand.

There is something I have been curious for some time, so I decide to try it out at the locked bathroom, where no one will find me doing this. I activate that strange power I have, the one in the right eye, and I see my eye turn into something. The blue is replaced by a purple color and a bird sigil appears on it and it looks like that the purple part is moving to the center of the circle.

What is this thing, exactly? Sure, I remember what it does, but what I cannot remind myself is the "why" of it doing it. Also, could it be that this is the reason why I was wearing those strange clothes.

I dry myself out and put the pajamas that Milly spoke of earlier, but I stop for some time to examine the clothes I was wearing: white ones, with restrains all over it, probably made to lock the person wearing them. Why was I using them and how did I end up with them? Was I a dangerous person to be locked in this way?

I get into the bed in the nursery, my head too filled with thoughts to allow me to sleep at the moment. Instead, I look at the ceiling, hoping to make something out of everything, but my mind is blank, incapable of aiding me in this task.

* * *

**Lelouch's Room**

Lelouch gazes at the wall of his room while C.C eats some pizza and reads some magazines she managed to get. His thinking is basically the same as Rai: who he is? What bothers Lelouch the most are the clothes Rai was wearing when they found him.

"Say, C.C, do you remember anything when you were under Britannia's arresting?" Lelouch asks the green haired girl.

"No. Why?" She looks a little curious.

"It's just that a man wearing the same clothes as you are right now appeared at the campus." Lelouch says to her, looking troubled. "I wonder if he is the same as you."

"I will check him if you want. But why are you worried about him?"

"Because he will be staying at the school for some time and that he seems to have lost his memories somehow."

"Well, then I will go and check him if you want." C.C says, going back to her magazines.

Lelouch wonders how that man appeared in the school and wearing those clothes. Can he be an asset against Britannia? Lelouch will need every piece of help he can in order to defeat Britannia, especially now that the Order of the Black Knights made their first public appearance.

Time will tell if Rai is to play a role in these events, but for now it is best for Lelouch to sleep. Next day, he will think about those things.


	2. Chapter 2

2: The School

**Ashford's Nursery**

I have spent the last couple of minutes staring at the ceiling of the nursery, ever since I woke up to be more precise. I am surprised by how my muscles feel more relaxed now that I have rested a bit and that I am no longer tired, all because of a single night sleeping.

My throat seems dry, so I get out of the bed and look for water, only finding the one from the bathroom (not the toilet). After drinking some, I go back to the bed and start to think about everything that happened yesterday: how I was found by Milly and Lelouch after I run away from something that I still have no idea what was; how Milly made me a student at Ashford Academy and enrolled me in the Student Council; how I met everyone.

Looking back, it was really a lucky stroke that she found me and no other person, since I don't know how they would react. I keep looking at the ceiling for some time before hearing someone coming to the nursery and Milly enters the room moments later.

"Good morning, Rai!" She says, joyful as always.

"Good morning, Milly." I say, smiling at her good mood.

"So, have you recovered any memory?" She asks, putting a pile of clothes in front of me.

"No… none at all." I say, a little sad by it.

"Oh, don't worry: I am sure that you will recover your memories soon enough." She says, sitting and crossing her legs (don't think me as a perverted, but she has good legs, that's for sure). "Now, why don't you try your uniform?"

"Okay." I start to put it, but then something hits me. "Wait a minute! How do you know my measures, exactly?"

"Let's just say that I have my talents." She says, giving me shivers of what she did while I was out.

I finish putting my uniform, which is a white shirt with a black coat over it and complemented with black trousers. Milly evaluates me after I am done and gives me a positive signal with her hand.

"I used Lelouch as a model, since you both are incredibly slender. Anyway, are you ready to see where you will be attending your classes?" She says, blinking to me.

"Okay then…" I say, a little nervous by that.

"I asked Lelouch to choose your classes and he put you in the same as he and the others attend, so you should at least have someone to help you if you find the subjects too difficult."

"Remind me of thanking him later." I say, a little surprise that Lelouch was so kind.

"I told you, he is a nice guy: you just need to get used to him, that's all."

We move around the school and I give a better look to the place and I should say that it is a pretty good place: big gardens and places where the students can stay during breaks; gyms where you can play a lot of different sports; horses for equitation classes and a whole lot of different things.

"You can use any of those facilities any time you want, so try the many different things available here, okay?" Milly says, sounding happy with everything.

Try many different things, hum…? Maybe I should do it, but after classes, of course. I don't want to lose any on my first day at school and make the teachers dislike me. We get to a classroom filled with students while the teacher fills the presence list.

"I put Hodges in your surname, since no one knows your real one. Try to remember it, okay?" Milly gives me some gentle slaps in the shoulder. "Now, go get them, tiger."

I enter the room and every single student in the class stop talking to look at me, curious about the newcomer. The teacher also stops calling everyone's names to look at me. Everyone starts to whisper, probably about me, which is a little unnerving, being frank here.

"So you are the new transfer student?" The teacher asks me, making me a little nervous.

"Yes sir!" I say, straightening my spine and talking to him in a louder tone than I pretended.

"Then go at the front of the class and tell the class your name and a little about yourself."

This is probably the most soulless and diabolical thing a teacher can do to any new kid with problems of being nervous: making him go at the front of everyone and speak about him. In my case, things get even worst, since I have no fucking (sorry for the bad word) idea of what to say, for real. I have no memories, so I have no idea what to say about myself and telling them that is just going to create more problems. What should I do?

As I go there, I see every single person looking at me, expecting me to talk about me when I have nothing to say. I see Shirley, Rivalz, Lelouch, Nina and Suzaku looking at me, smiling (in Nina's case, looking away and red; in Lelouch's, just sleeping), so I decide to think about something.

"My name is Rai Hodges and I will be a student here for the time being." That's a good start, I guess. "I like… riding horses and writing a little, I think. Also, I am pretty good at chess."

From where did those things came from? The strangest thing is that they seem right, so I guess that they are probably true. Does that mean that I am recovering my memories?

"Alright, go take a seat now." The teacher says, his attention going back to the list of students.

"Rai, over here!" Shirley signals to me and shows an open seat right next to her, so I go there and I sit.

"Thanks, Shirley."

"Good to see that you will be taking the same classes as us." Suzaku, who is sitting right in front of us, turns back to speak with us.

"Lelouch's idea." I answer, looking at the sleeping guy. "Is he always like that?"

"Always." Both of them say to me.

"I see…" I say, sighing a little.

"You said that your name was "Rai Hodges", right?" Shirley asks me. "So that means that you are recovering your memories?"

"I don't think so… Milly made up that name for me. But the things that I like are true, so I guess that I am, in some extend."

"That's good!" Shirley says, smiling a little. "I am sure that you will get back your memories in no time."

"You three at the back! Stay silent while I start this lesson!" The teacher yells at us in the front of the room.

"Yes sir!" The three of us say, looking at the blackboard.

I watch the classes during the day, paying attention to what the teachers were saying and absorbing the subjects with ease, surprising me a little. I guess that I must be a person who learns new things easily, so nothing is really a challenge to learn. By the time the classes of the day end, I have learn some things, but nothing of my memories, so I guess that I should go take the tour with Milly, who is already at the door.

"Ready to receive the full Ashford experience?" She asks me, with her usual good mood.

"Okay… I guess." That's all I can say.

Milly shows me several different places, like the cafeteria, where we brought some food (they only have Britannian plates on the menu, but I don't exactly have any preference, since I have no memories), the swimming pool (filled with girls training there, but they were all wearing those from school, so not so attractive), the stable (filled with a lot of horses of different colors), the chapel (I don't feel so religious when I enter it, telling you the truth) and finally the Clubhouse (where the Student Council Room is located).

"Get used to this place, since you will be living here for now on." Milly says, as we enter the large hall of the building.

"What do you mean by that?" I ask, looking at her, curious.

"You are a special student, after all. Besides, living here makes easier to watch over you."

"That makes sense, I guess." I say, giving my shoulders.

"At least you won't be alone, since Lelouch and Nunnaly both live here."

"They do?"

"Yes, because of Nunnaly. She is in a wheelchair, so life in a dormitory might get a bit too hard for her, so Grandfather granted permission to them to live here."

"I wonder what Lelouch will think when he finds out that I will leave near his little sister." I say, not wondering but knowing the answer to my question.

"You guys will be fine, I know it. In no time, you and Lelouch will be drinking tea and playing chess together." She says, as a prophet.

"Okay…" I say as we get to my room.

"So, here is the key to the room." She hands me a key card and looks at the watch. "Sorry, but I need to get ready for another one of those arranged dates with important nobles that my mother launch me every week. See you."

"Okay…" I say, looking at her back as she leaves. "Now, let's go and check this room and stop talking to myself."

Entering the room, I must say that it isn't that bad at all: it has a bed and a computer, together with a window that allows me a view of the gardens. There is a wardrobe as well, but it is almost empty for the moment, since I have no other clothes beside the uniform Milly gave me. I hear someone knocking the door and, opening it and finding Lelouch there.

"I see you will be living in here for now." He says, entering the room.

"Yes, that's right…"

"Sorry for entering like that, but I would like to have a word with you… about Nunnaly."

"Alright, no problem." I say, offering him the only chair in the room. "What is the problem?"

"Well, it's just that… she can't see, so her ears are too sensitive and you may… surprise her without noticing. Just try to be careful around her, okay?" He may be calm right now, but I can feel what he truly mean by those words: get near Nunnaly and I will kill you.

"I… will be careful around you two…" I say, trying to stay firm as I look right into his eyes.

"Good. Now, if you excuse me." He says, leaving the place as I keep looking at his back.

Once again, I feel like he was analyzing me, like a predator about to deliver the killing blow. Somehow, Lelouch scares me more than he should, maybe because I recognize something in he, something that I shouldn't, a dark secret.

* * *

**Lelouch's Room**

"So?" C.C asks Lelouch the second he enters the room.

"I had a word with him about Nunnaly." He says, sitting at his bed. "He probably won't be a menace to her, but you can never be too sure about it."

"Do you still believe that he is dangerous?" C.C asks him, changing her position in the bed.

"We can't be sure until he recovers his memories, if he lost them in the first place." He says, thinking about the situation. "He could be a person like you and be playing with us this whole time."

"He could." She sighs and get up. "Well, I will keep an eye on him."

"I would appreciate that." Lelouch says, laying on the bed.

* * *

I wake up and look at the ceiling (yeah, I know that I do this a lot, but give me a break), noticing how strange it is to have nothing in particular to think. Without recollections of the past, your mind tends to be fairly empty from any kind of thought, so you can actually stare at the space without thinking.

I decide to get up from my state of full blankness to get dressed with a school uniform, even if it is incredibly early. After I finish getting dressed, I look myself in the big mirror in the room, seeing myself with the uniform. I look at the same person who stared at me two days ago, but somehow it is different.

Before, I saw a person that I couldn't recognize, a complete stranger to me. Now, I see a person that I could say is just an acquainted of mine, nothing else. Sure, I know some of my preferences, but I still don't fell familiar with myself, which is strange enough already.

Seeing everyone treating me with such familiarity is strange, since I don't feel this to myself. How could they come to treat a complete stranger like a friend, one that they met two days ago? Sometimes I am amazed how some people are kind while others are… Lelouch.

I open the door to my room and I find Kallen there, about to knock the door. She looks surprised by my sudden appearance, but she recomposes herself quite quickly.

"Hum… good morning?" I wasn't exactly expecting a girl to appear at my door so early in the morning, which you can bet.

"Oh, g-good morning…" She notices how we ended up close to each other and back off a little and clear her throat. "Hum… Milly told me to come and get you to, you know, the Council Room."

"Alright." I say, trying to cool down. "So, let's go there and, well… do what Milly wants."

"Right." I follow her, trying to don't get too far behind her.

It is strange to be around Kallen, for some reason. It is something similar to Lelouch, like she is keeping a secret and I know it, but in her case it isn't something dark and too dangerous. Maybe I am just too paranoid with everyone in the school, even with them all being so kind to me.

"So, have you recovered any memory?" Kallen asks me, probably trying to start a conversation.

"Just a very few things, like some things I like, but nothing else." I say, trying to go on with the conversation.

"Sorry to hear that." She says to me, sounding a little indifferent. "I am sure you will get them back faster than you expect."

**Student Council Room**

We arrive at the entrance of the Council Room, for my relief, since this conversation has been far too awkward already. Kallen is too quiet to make people calm enough to talk with her, or sometimes even be on her presence.

We both enter the room and we find the rest of the girls: Shirley, Nina and Milly. Compared to Kallen's heavy atmosphere, the more friendly reception I receive relieves me even more from what I just passed with Kallen.

"So, how are you Rai?" Milly says, grabbing my left arm and making me fell her boobs against it, making me blush. "Any memories you got back?"

"Well…" I say, but suddenly she gets too excited about what.

"What is it? Are you actually a wandering prince? An agent from the Chinese Federation? A time-traveler? An alien whose planet was destroyed and was raised by human parents?"

"Your imagination is too fertile." I say, closing my eyes and sighing. "No, I haven't got anything back, yet."

"Oh… that's bad." Somehow I doubt that she was disappointed that I haven't got them back.

"Anyway, why are we all here, President?" Shirley asks Milly, with an inquiring face.

"Oh, that's right!" She says, getting back her smile.

("That was fast.") I think, about her recovery of her smile.

"I called you all here to think of ideas to help our young Rai here." She says, tapping my back.

That is the moment when something hits me: I am the only man surrounded by four girls. I think that any healthy young man, very much like me, would be delighted by this happening. However, all I feel is a feeling of unrest, like I don't belong here. Did I lacked these kind of situations before and my body is reacting? Or there is something else to it, hidden?

"Why don't we try to go around the Settlement and see if it triggers any memory?" Kallen suggests, making Milly jump from excitement.

"That's a great idea! And I nominate you his caretaker, Kallen." Milly says to her.

"M-Me? What do you mean by that?" She says, sounding confused.

"It's the first person who brings up a subject the one who might follow the rule proposed. It's a common law in the world."

"If it is a law, there is nothing a person can do about it." Shirley says, sounding happier than she should.

"This is just for your own convenience! Ah… I mean, that sort of thing is just too much for me… And I don't really know the area that well…" At the beginning she was more explosive, but then she calmed down, returning to her normal self.

"It's just that you have been showing your face a lot more lately, so I thought you had a good recovery." Shirley says, a little embarrassed.

"Exactly! So, as President of the Student Council, I hereby nominate Kallen the official caretaker of Rai until he recover his memories!" She says, swinging her hand like a maestro.

"Huh?!" Kallen spoke out.

"All in favor, say I. I!" Milly says, with enthusiasm.

"I!" Shirley shouted in a similar way to Milly.

"I…" Nina says, pretty low.

The decision has been approved by the majority! This emergency resolution of the Student Council shall be implemented as for now!" Milly says, too happy.

"That's just…" Kallen tries to defend herself, but it is a futile battle, one she cannot hope to win.

"That's okay with you too, right?" Milly asks me, picking me up by surprise, since I was hoping to mix with the wall.

"Uh… Well… I guess…" My brain decides to stop working, as you can guess already.

"So it is settled that, as soon as school is finished today, you will both get around the Settlement, starting by the public park. Now, everyone go to your classes."

Somehow, I don't know what is more strange: Milly happiness or Kallen disappointment. Looks like we will be around with each other for some time for a time, so I guess that I could use this time to look for my memories.

Nothing against Kallen, but I am also uncomfortable with this decision, mostly because I believe that Kallen is hiding something from the others (even if it is just my paranoia speaking). Besides, I think that, If it is too troublesome for her to take care of me, then she doesn't need to: all she has to do is speak.

The classes worked pretty much the same way as yesterday, so I guess that I kind of spaced out during some of them, but I still managed to get a good part of them. One of the teachers gave the class a surprise test today, but because I am a temporary student, I was relieved from it.

I decided to check every one of my colleagues from the Council and I found the findings interesting: Lelouch looks bored by the test, like he should be doing something else; Shirley is a little nervous, but she seems able to hold her ground; Nina finishes the thing too quickly, in my opinion; Rivalz sounds desperate, erasing what he wrote a couple of times; Suzaku looks troubled, but not like Rivalz, that is for sure; as for Kallen, she is quite calm by it, writing with patience in the sheet of paper.

After the classes ended, I don't see Kallen around, so I guess that she went to the park, but I seriously have my doubts about it. I was about to go there when someone calls for me and I see Suzaku coming at me.

"Hey Suzaku. How are you doing?" I ask, politely.

"I am fine, but what about you? Is there anything inconvenient in your life now?" He asks me, putting a serious face.

"Oh no, I am fine." I say, a little surprised by what he said.

"I see. If you need anything, don't forget to ask me."

"Actually, could you tell me where the park is? I need to go there but I have no idea how to get there." I ask him, since he offered help.

"Oh, sure. I was heading that way, so it won't be a problem." He starts to guide me there.

Suzaku is a good person, one that doesn't activate my paranoid senses even a bit. Walking there with him, we start to talk a little about some things and I find it really easy to speak with him: he is not a happiness engine like Milly, closed like Lelouch, shy like Nina, quiet like Kallen or… similar to Rivalz.

"Hey, thanks for spending your time to help me." I say to Suzaku.

"Hey, no problem. I just want to help everyone like the Student Council helped me before." He says, smiling a little about this memory.

"Did you lost your memory as well?" He laughs a little with my question.

"No, it's just that, when I entered this school, everyone kept some distance from me, because I am an Eleven. But the Council helped me by being so kind and making the rest of the students accept me."

"That's good." I say, smiling a little myself.

So that is how everyone is, I suppose. Maybe I should depend on them a little more and rely on them to help solve my problems. It is just my strange instincts that keep telling me that I should stop being with them, so, as for now, I will ignore them about those amazing people.

**Park**

We arrive at the entrance of the park and Suzaku leaves me there, giving me some advices on how to go back to Ashford Academy. After we part our separate ways, I walk around the place for a while when I see a little child playing with a black cape around his neck.

"I am Zero! Fear now, Britannia!" He sounds really happy until his mother appears and stop him.

"Stop this now!" She says, looking alarmed at me. "We are Elevens and we shouldn't say things like that against Britannia."

She drags the boy away from the park, trying to take from him the cloth he was using as a cape to hide it, most probably. The relations between Britannians and Japanese, or Elevens, are pretty bad and just keeping getting worst with Zero and his Black Knights.

I don't agree with this way of treating people, like they are inferior to you or others, but the Black Knights can be a little too extreme in dealing with this situation. But I guess that things came to this point already with this treatment: no one likes to be treated like an animal.

I find Kallen sitting on a bench in the park, talking with someone in the phone. Rivalz revealed to me that she is sick quite too often, so she misses classes a lot, but she also has a loyal number of admirers because of her appearance. Also, she is of noble blood, so everyone wants to be around her all the time.

"Sorry, but I can't go on tonight's mission because I am stuck with this guy from the Council. Tell Ze…" She notices me as I approach her. "It was good talking with you. See you tomorrow."

"Was it a game?" I asked her, curious.

"What?" She asks, surprised.

"Sorry, but I heard you talking about a mission and stuff…"

"Oh, yeah. It was totally a game." She says, a little too nervous, I think. "One of those where you play online, with your friends, you know?"

"Yeah…" Somehow, I doubt that she is telling the truth, but I say nothing of it. "So, any idea of what we should do now?"

"I was thinking about going around the Settlement and see if it triggers any memories." She says, getting up and looking at me.

"You are the boss here." I say, following her around.

First, she showed me the Marketplace, where you can buy a longue range of different things. Next we walk around the Settlement of Tokyo, the former Capital of Japan.

Area 11 is the new name for the land that was once known as Japan, but seven years ago, Japan was conquered by Britannia and became nothing more than a colony. The Japanese are now Elevens and they were basically stripped of any kind of proud for their country, forced to salute the ones who conquest them.

I spent some time reading about the place yesterday, so I wouldn't know nothing about the country anyway. Looking around, I don't see anything that could tell me that this place was different in the past, since it looks like it was always a Britannian place.

"What are you thinking?" Kallen asks me.

"Hum… nothing." I say, trying to avoid saying what I think out loud.

"Is my guiding boring?" She asks a little harshly.

"I'm sorry…" I say, closing my eyes for some moments.

"Hum? Why?" She sounds really surprised by what I said.

"Because you were forced to keep me company, a person who has basically nothing to talk about. If you want, you can just leave and I tell Milly that you did your job."

"Hey, it's fine." She says, giving me a weak smile. "Besides, a promise is a promise, so don't worry about it."

I notice that the atmosphere around her becomes more lighter than before, so I kind of enjoy the time we spent together. She shows me the main places, so I guess that I can at least guide myself around in case I ever go to the Settlement. We part our ways when it is already dark, but I stay a little more around, just to see how the place is at night.

"Rai? What are you doing here?" Someone wearing an orange uniform asks behind me.

"Who…?" I ask, confused.

"It's me: Suzaku." He says, getting close enough for me to identify him.

"Oh, sorry! I didn't recognized you in those clothes." I say, looking at them.

"Oh, this is my Army uniform. I am working in an engineering division for them."

"Okay then." I say to him.

"Anyway, what are you doing here so late?" Suzaku asks me, looking worried.

"Kallen was showing me around until some time ago, but she went home and I decided to stay around for a little while." I tell him the truth.

"I see… Then, I can get you back to Ashford, if you want." Suzaku says, smiling a little.

I know that Suzaku said earlier that I could rely on him for help, but hearing that he works for the Army makes me wary of him, like he is dangerous to me. However, he seems quite sincere in helping me, so I decide to shut those feelings inside of my head.

"I would appreciate it, but only if it isn't any problem at all." I say to him.

"I was heading that way, so it won't be a problem."

We start to walk while talking and I got the opportunity to know him better and I find out that he is really an easy person to talk. We arrive at Ashford's entrance and Suzaku says goodbye to me, heading into the building right in front.

Today I didn't find anything about me, but I guess that's okay, for now. I found something important, at least: people who I am starting to care about.


	3. Chapter 3

3: The Talents

**Student Council Room**

I put aside the last piece of paper in the gigantic pile that Milly handed over to me earlier, finishing the last formulary. Milly is a cruel woman who treats the others like their personal slave, since I haven't moved from this chair since I entered the room, after finishing the classes of the day.

"And here we go." I swear to God that the desk shake when Milly put a new pile, bigger than the first one, in the desk, scaring me.

"Oh, come on!" I say, getting angry. "You can't be serious about this!"

"Sorry." Milly puts her hands together and bow to me. "But Rivalz is away, working, I can't find any of the girls or Lelouch and Suzaku has work for the army, so you are the only person I can ask for help today."

"Does this happen often?" I say, staring at the huge pile in front of me, fearing it."

"More than it should." Milly says, smiling in an embarrassed way.

I sigh, picking up another one of the papers in front of me, imagining my hand screaming in protest by having to work more than it already have. Sometimes I wonder where everyone in this council goes when they disappear, but for some of them I know the answer for this question.

After just two of the new formularies, my hand decides to practice the fine art of suicide and I fell that I can't move it really well, so I decide to stop working for a second. Looking out of the window, I see a bright sky, the kind that makes you want to sleep below a tree, feeling the wind passing your body. If I were to do that now, I would enter an eternal sleep and only a kiss of true love would wake me up.

Suddenly, I imagine Lelouch doing the named kiss, which wasn't exactly pleasure, even to imagine. Just to say, I have no feelings for the guy, but I am so tired that my brain decides to stop working at full capacity, hence the strange visions.

"YAAAHHH!" I hear Milly screaming and it wakes me up from my slowed state.

"What is…" Milly has fall to the ground and… and… I see a vision from the forbidden land. "Oh God!"

"Sorry if I scared you." She say, not noticing that, from my point of view, she is showing something that a lot of men (I imagine Rivalz being happy with it) would kill for. "What's wrong?"

"Milly… your… your…" I try to look away, but I am a man, so the vision has a drawing effect, like a tanker uses a power to draw the attention of the enemy (Rivalz borrowed to me some RPGs).

"Hum…?" She notices what is wrong and covers the vision, but she doesn't sound too embarrassed, like the situation needs. "So you saw it?"

"It was a little hard to not do it." I say, sweating a little.

"Then, what was the color?" She asks, smiling.

"What kind of question is this?" I say, yelling.

"Just curious to know how well you saw it." She says, getting up.

"I am not answering this!" I say, going back to the papers, trying to erase my memory from the event.

"Oh, come on!" She says, sitting right at my side, in the desk. "If you don't, I will tell everyone about what happened."

("She is the devil!") I think to myself, as I look at her like she is some kind of demon, I can even imagine the horns and the tail.

"So, what it will be?" She asks, amused.

"Striped… in a white and light green pattern." I say, so red that I could prepare coffee with my head, steam coming out of my ears.

"Okay then. My lips are sealed." She says, blinking to me and walking away from me, acting like nothing ever happened. "Don't forget to finish the papers."

**Rai's Room**

I swear that I just lost my hand today, or at least I am not feeling or moving it for some time after today. I have my face in the pillow and all that I can think of is… no! Stop! Bad boy, Rai, bad boy! You will never again think of what you saw earlier, not even for a second!

"Hum… Rai?" Nunnaly's voice can be heard from out the room.

"Yes?" I ask, my strength of will too low to allow me to go there and open the door for her.

"Would you like to have dinner with me? My brother hasn't come back and it will be a little lonely all by myself." She says, sounding uncertain about asking me or not, even if she already asked.

Turned out that I went to give her some company after all, even if I can't feel my whole right arm and I have no idea about what to talk to a fourteen years old girl. However, Nunnaly is a good person to talk, easy even, so the atmosphere is light around the dining room (at least without Lelouch around).

"Did you have had any memory back?" Nunnaly asks me, smiling a little.

"Some things, but nothing in particular." I say playing with a piece of paper that I found in my room and ended up bringing to the dinner, I don't know why.

"That's bad." Nunnaly sounds really disappointed about it. "I hope you manage to get them back soon."

"Same here." I say, when Sayoko, Nunnaly's maid, enters the room carrying the entrance soup.

"That's a beautiful bird you got here, Rai-sama." Sayoko says, looking at my hands.

Surprised, I notices that I made a bird with the paper I was playing with by folding it over and over. First things first: how did I ended up doing it? Second: why I did it? Apparently, making these things are like a second nature to me, since I did one without even looking at the paper, but why is that?

"Really?" Nunnaly seems excited. "Can I pet it?"

"I don't think that this "bird" is what you are thinking." I say, giving the paper to her, surprising her.

"It's paper… but it has the format of a bird!" She sounds impressed, probably as much as me.

"Yeah…" I say, feeling the muscles of my face forming a strange smile.

"I didn't knew you could do _origami_, Rai-sama." Sayoko says, giving to each of us a plate with soup.

"Me neither." I say, looking at how amazed Nunnaly is with the tiny animal of paper. "Did you like it?"

"Yes!" She says, passing her fingers in the bird with care, to not end up destroying it.

"You can keep it… if you want." I say, still unsure on how I did the thing.

"Thank you, Rai!" She sounds too happy because of a bird made of paper.

Later in the same night, I keep looking at the ceiling of my room, unable to sleep. Scattered all over the floor, there are a collection of animals, all made of paper: birds, mammals, fishes and even a lizard. I can make them, but I can't explain how I can make them, like my life isn't complicated enough as it is.

There was something that I felt when I was with Nunnaly, like my chest was warm, just before I did the bird that I gave her. Could it be that she made me remember how to do those things with paper, the _origami_?

I hear someone walking in the corridor and I presume that it is Lelouch coming back late… ok, very late, but I am not questioning the guy about anything related to him, or he may do something with me. What he could do? I have no idea, but something good is what isn't, that's for sure!

**School Gates**

I walk around the school gates when I hear a commotion behind me and, when I turn back, I see a horde of zombies running in my direction. Okay, they aren't zombies, but they are almost the same: they are members of Kallen's unofficial fan club. Before I can get out of their path of destruction, they pass over me like I am nothing and I fly around, hitting the floor and making a loud sound (I thought that this only happens in those comedy shows that Rivalz made me watch once).

"Here Rai, let me help you." Speaking of the devil.

"A person from my past." I say, looking around.

"What?" Rivalz looks at me, confused.

"Nothing." I say, looking at the zombies as a limousine appears and Kallen gets out of it. "They will end up killing someone."

"Unless that someone gets too close to Kallen, I doubt it." Rivalz says, smiling a little.

"Good morning Kallen!" Zombie number one says.

"Are you feeling okay today?" Zombie number two says.

"If it's too hard, I'll carry your bag for you." Number three tries to gain the advantage.

"Hey… gaining advantage like that is against the rules!" There are rules?

"There isn't such a rule!" I think that setting rules for something like that is a bit too much.

Let me clarify why they are zombies: they only think of one thing, Kallen (zombies think of brains); They walk around in groups (like real zombies); and they are hard to live with in case you have the thing they want (Kallen for fanboys and brains for zombies). Do you see my point here?

"So, do you have a thing for Kallen as well?" Rivalz asks me, looking at her.

"Definitely not." I say, looking at her as well.

She is gorgeous, I will give you that (and also is pretty developed in… that department that men love, in particular). However, I am not attracted to her at the moment and probably won't ever be, since she is too quiet for me to feel comfortable around her.

"People say that she is always sick, so she barely showed up last year, but her grades are at the top of the class. She is also pretty popular among the boys in the school, so this happens every time she comes to school ("Yeah, I already figured it out that much, thanks."). She is also a member of the Stadfelt family, which means nobility and lots of money. You surely knows how to choose, Rai." He gives me thumbs up.

"Hear when people say something." I say to him. "Besides, I can barely remember anything, so what if I have someone?"

"Then you will be in a love triangle." Rivalz say, casually.

"Don't say such stupid things out loud!" I yell at him, making Kallen sees us.

"Hello, Rai. You too Rivalz."

"Good morning…" I noticed that the zombies are glaring at me, making me very self-aware.

"How are you feeling today?" Rivalz says, casually.

"I am fine, so I needed to come. If I lose too much classes, I will repeat this year."

"Well, I thought that you were better, since you spent some time with Rai two days ago right?" Rivalz, your jackass! Don't say that out loud!

"How did you found out?" Kallen looks away, red, confirming the worst suspects of the zombies.

"The President told me." MILLY!

I can fell the assassin glare from the zombies as I try to ignore them, but I haven't brought my chainsaw today, so I am in a serious danger here. I start to get away from Kallen and Rivalz, trying to run away from the zombies before the horde is unleashed.

"Then I must say goodbye for now." Kallen says, bowing to Rivalz. "Rai, meet me at the park today, like before."

"O-Okay…" Dammit Kallen!

Now that I think about it, how do I know what a zombie is if no one showed me what they are? Could it be that I was a fan of those guys before losing my memory? Anyway, now is the best time to make a strategic escape while they are distracted with Kallen, so I disappear of sight.

**Student Council Room**

"This day totally sucked…" I say, laying my head in the desk.

"What happened?" Shirley asks me, looking worried.

"Let's just say that I had to deal with beings from the underworld." I say while a dark cloud over my head.

I was hit with water balloons, almost feel out of the stairs and from a window and I got kicked around in P.E all the time by the other boys. Looks like manhood is bonded in mysterious ways, ways that make them all hate you when a member, or a group of members, hate you. And guess who started all this?

"Here: drink some herbal tea." Lelouch puts a tea set in front of me. "It will help you to relax."

"Thanks." I say, drinking some of it when Milly enters the room.

"Sorry about being late, everyone." She sounds happy as usual, but I get all tense around her, due to what happened yesterday. "So, let's start working!"

"Yes!" Rivalz and Shirley sound as happy as Milly.

"By the way, Rai." She looks at me while I am drinking the tea. "Today it is a laced black one."

"What?" Suzaku looks at her, while he tries to feed Arthur, the cat of the Council.

I spill all the tea that was in my mouth while I start to cough hard, caught by surprise by what she said. Shirley taps my head, without understanding the situation, and even Nina stopped working in the computer to look at me.

"What does she…?" Rivalz start talking, but I stop him.

"Nothing!" I say, getting red as a tomato. "She is just mocking me with something, but don't worry about it!"

"Okay then: let's do our best." Milly says, blinking at me.

I will need a whole tree of herbal tea to calm myself with Milly around.

**Park**

Just like before, Kallen is already waiting for me at the same bench, but not talking in her phone. I am a little uncertain if I should approach her, fearing that some of the zombies might appears somehow, but I decide to take the risk.

"Hey." I say, approaching her. "Sorry, but I had to take care of some work at the council."

"No worries." She says, getting up. "So, shall we move?"

We start to walk around the settlement, but this time I spent my time looking at the sky, a bright and blue, open sky. I smile as I look at it, feeling a happiness that I can't… wait just a second here! I do like this kind of sky, but I am feeling like I already saw it before, that sky in this place, Tokyo! When did that happened?

"What are you thinking about?" Kallen asks me.

"What?" I look at her, confused.

"You are thinking about something right now, so I asked you what it is."

"I was thinking… that I already saw this sky… in Area 11."

"So you also call it like that." Kallen looks away, looking disappointed.

"Have I said something wrong?" I ask her, noticing her change of tone.

"No… not at all…" She looks at me and tries to sounds different. "So, it could mean that you are Japanese."

"Yeah, but…" Now that I think about it really hard. "I also remember seeing a Britannian sky… if that makes any sense." I look at the sky, trying to force my mind, in vain. "I might be Japanese and Britannian."

"Japanese… and Britannian…" Kallen says, looking away with a thoughtful expression.

"Hum… have I said something weird?" I ask, feeling uncomfortable with the situation at hand.

"Oh, no, it's just…" Before she can say anything else, her phone rings and she goes answer it, looking at me a lot while doing so. "Sorry, but I really got to go now."

"Okay…?" I say.

"I am really sorry!" She says, starting to go away. "I will make it up to you one day!" Please, don't say that or I might have to walk around with an actual chainsaw.

As I watch her leaving, I have this strange feeling that it is related to that thing that she is hiding, but I probably shouldn't get involved. I decide to walk back to the school, thinking about many things when, almost at the entrance, Suzaku calls me while he is with a woman with indigo hair, both wearing that Army uniform.

"Hey Rai!" Suzaku says, approaching me with the woman.

"Hello Suzaku. Hello…?" I say, unsure of who the woman is.

"I am Cecile Croomy, of the Camelot unit." She says, giving me a smile. "Suzaku was talking about you just a few moments ago."

"He was?" I look at Suzaku, asking mutely for an answer.

"I was thinking about using the tech in the Camelot to try to find out something about you after a few exams. If you want, we may do it now, if it is not a bother." Suzaku says, looking at me.

I am unsure if I should allow someone to do those exams, specially the Army, but something in Cecile's eyes tell me that she is a good person, but the ones she works for aren't that good. What exactly should I do now?

**Camelot Headquarters**

"It won't hurt, so relax, alright?" Cecile says, taking some blood from my arm with a needle.

In the end, I went to do those tests to find out more about me, probably because it involves Suzaku, whom I trust more than the whole Army, probably. Just some simple tests, like a blood test, and it is all done.

"The results will be complete by tomorrow, okay?" Cecile gives me a smile as I pass my hand by the spot where the needle was put.

"Thanks." I say, looking around and noticing a white Knightmare in a place, attracting my attention to it.

His color scheme is different from any of the normal ones I saw so far: white and golden instead of the purple from the _Sutherlands_ and the brown from the _Burais_ used by the Black Knights. It is also different from the others in the appearance, looking more slim and human than the others I saw so far.

Knightmares are mechas used in combat created by Britannia more than ten years ago. They are the most advanced machines currently being used in war, with all the nations these days making researches in the field. Somehow, this one attracts my attention in a way I can't explain, but I put my hand forward and touch it, feeling like I already used it before.

"This is the _Lancelot_, my biggest creation." A man wearing clothes similar to those a scientist would wear appears at my side, looking at me. "Looks like you have a good eye for Knightmares."

"Hum…" I look at him, trying to find an answer.

"Sorry. I keep forgetting about social politeness. I am Lloyd Asplund, director of _Camelot_. Suzaku told me about you, Rai Hodges." He says, giving me an inquiring look with his greyish blue eyes.

"Lloyd, I hope you aren't forgetting how to behave." Cecile appears, carrying a tray filled with food.

"I didn't forget how… what are those, Cecile?" Lloyd suddenly looks scared.

"Some sandwiches I made for our guest." She offers me the tray. "Why don't you pick one?"

"Okay…" I notice Lloyd making signals to me from behind her, but it is too late to refuse the food. After one bite, I can feel my tongue crying in pain from the taste of the food.

"What do you think?" She asks, smiling to me.

"It's…" I can't break such an innocent smile. "They are… pretty strong, that's for sure…"

Cecile seems satisfied by my answer and even offers me more, with politeness stopping me from refusing. Behind her, Lloyd looks at me like I am some kind of alien, probably because I am eating Cecile's food like it is nothing, but I guess that I will need a tongue transfer after today, or maybe a stomach one as well.

"A-Anyway, Rai!" Lloyd appears and put Cecile aside, probably trying to save me from the food. "Would you like to try it?"

"Try it?" I look at him, confused.

"Piloting a Knightmare, of course." Lloyd says, smiling to me in his own way. "In a simulator, of course."

* * *

"Okay Rai, did you got the basics?" Suzaku asks me while I sit at the chair of the simulator.

"Yes, I guess." I say, picking up the joysticks in the cockpit and looking at the screens.

Somehow, I knew exactly what each of the things in the cockpit was, even without Suzaku telling me. This made me think that I have already been in a Knightmare before, but I have no idea when or why. Maybe doing this simulation will help me to unlock some hidden memories.

"Alright Rai, we will start the simulation now, okay?" I hear Cecile's voice from the communicator.

"Alright." I say.

"Your mission is to pass through the debris of the ruins while facing several _Burais_ from the enemy. Next you will go in the abandoned train tracks and defeat the leader platoon. Pretty easy, right?" Lloyd talks to me from the communicator as well.

"Understood!" I say, starting to move.

Three enemies attack me when I am in my way to the tracks, shooting at me with their rifles. I dodge the fire easily, picking up my own rifle and shooting not them, but the buildings above them, making tons of pieces of building fall into them, destroying two of them. The third one tries to get closer to me, but I jump back from his reach and I shoot my _Slash Harkens_ at him, destroying his head and making him fly away after ejecting.

The second encounter is a group of five enemies, but this time they surround me, closing me and leaving me with no other option than to fight hand-to-hand with them. Two attack at the same time up front while a third tries to come at me from behind. I defend myself from one of the attackers from the front, while avoiding the attack from the second one and making him deliver his blow to the one from behind. Next, I shoot my to _Slash Harkens_ in the two from the front, destroying both while I jump and kick the third one, taking his head off.

The last two I simply dispatch with my rifle, taking both down. After this, I arrive at the train tracks and I find the leader of the enemies, using a _Burai _with a different color pattern from the others, escorted by three normal _Burais_. One of the enemies moves forward and goes to a hand-to-hand combat, but I avoid his attacks easily, wondering why he would send…

I jump to the ground in the last second to avoid a shot being fired from a sniper rifle, sending the enemy who was facing me to the ground in the process. From the shot, I saw from where the shooter is, but, if this simulation will follow the behavior of a normal sniper, then he will change his position after the first shot. Using the enemy Knightmare as a shield, I shoot the others with my rifle and I destroy the other two of the scorts, leaving the leader alone.

The leader starts to run away, so I have no choice but to follow him. However, I go to a different route, passing by the buildings where the Sniper rifle was, hoping to find him there. My instincts tell me to take cover when I sense his aim at me, avoiding the bullet for just a second and discovering from where the bullet came. When I get there, I see the Sniper fleeing away, but I get to him easily, destroying his Knightmare, but picking up his sniper rifle.

I see the leader running away, so I have just one shot at this, so I need to be precise. Aiming with the rifle, I take a deep breath and hold it, waiting for the right opportunity. I aim a little ahead of him, so his speed doesn't make it possible for him to avoid the bullet. That's when I make the shot.

Like in slow motion, I see the bullet cutting his way through the wind to the robotic mecha, the world stopped for just a single moment. I know it is just a simulation, but I think on the weight that bullet has right now: the power to end a life forever if I hit the target.

I see the bullet passing right through the cockpit and going to the other side, hitting the wall behind and destroying it. As for the Knightmare, he doesn't explode or is destroyed, except for the hole in the cockpit, but just goes to the ground, my shot so clean that just made a hole on it.

The words "Mission Accomplished" appears in the screen as the simulator is shut off and the cockpit is open, allowing me to get out. I see Suzaku looking at me, his eyes so wide open that I fear they might go out of their orbits. Cecile is surprised as well, but she sounds more scared than everything. Lloyd, however, is jumping from happiness, looking at the results he got in his screen.

"Rai, that… that was…" Suzaku can't find words to say. "It was the first time you entered in one of those?"

"Yeah… at least since I lost my memories…" I say, surprised myself with this fact.

"You just got the maximum score for the simulation." Cecile can't believe in it. "The only person who ever did it before was Suzaku."

"This is astonishing!" Lloyd looks like a child at Christmas. "You are a genius, Rai!"

Not only they, but the rest of the crew working at _Camelot_ are praising me, like I am some kind of genius, even though I am not sure if I truly am one. Handling the Knightmare sounded like a second nature to me, just like making _origami_ is. Who was I to have such skills?

"I will have to analize the data we got on you, but I must say that I am exuberant with what I saw." Lloyd says, smiling wildly. "Come in two days and we will have all the results ready."

"Okay…" I say, as a happy Suzaku escorts me outside.

* * *

"Cecile, could you come here for a second?" Lloyd says to his assistant.

"What is it?" She looks at the screen of the computer. "Oh, the results from Rai's simulation in the _Sutherland_, right?"

"Yeah, but I didn't put him to use the _Sutherland_ program. I used the _Lancelot_." Lloyd looks at her with amused eyes.

"92% of compatibility?" Cecile looks at the numbers, but she can't believe in what she is seeing. "But…"

"Only Suzaku ever managed to get such a rate with the _Lancelot_. The majority of the pilots can barely get 60% with it." Lloyd says, looking at the screen with glowing eyes. "Maybe we just found another genius to help us."

"Are you going to bring him in?" Cecile asks him, looking a little surprised. "We know nothing of him."

"Yeah, but we just can't let this opportunity pass, can we?" Lloyd says, looking at the screen with some kind of joy. "He will be a perfect pilot, you will see."

* * *

"I told you I would make it up to you, didn't I?" Kallen asks as we move around the settlement together.

"Yeah, you said." I look around the place, feeling uneasy. "Kallen, can I ask you for something?"

"Yes, of course." She looks interested.

"I was thinking: where the Japanese live around this place? I saw a lot of Britannian houses, but no Japanese." I say, and she gets a little sad.

"They… live in the ghettos…"

"I see." I look at the sky for a time before talking again. "Then, could you show me the ghettos?"

"Hum? Why?" She sounds really surprised by my request.

"It's okay if you don't want to go: just pointing where one is will be enough." I say, looking at the and closing my eyes. "Maybe I will find out something there who might trigger my memories."

"I see… then I will come with you there." Kallen says, sounding a little relieved.

**Shinjuku Ghetto**

I look around the devastated place that used to be a great city, but now it is just a big pile of rubble. From where I am, I can't see the people, but I bet that they look as bad as the place itself. Lots of improvised graves are around, with pictures and objects on them, like some kind of tribute to those who have fall.

"There are so many…" I say, getting closer to them and finding some with toys. "Even children…"

"That's what happens when Britannia conquers: destroy and take the place of what was before." Kallen says, holding her arm strongly.

The ghettos are so different from the Settlement, like you are opposing light and dark. One is shining with glory and progress while the other sinks more and more in decay and despair. Is it fair? I cannot say for sure, but all that I think is that the children are the ones who suffer the most, looking at all those abandoned toys over here.

"What are you thinking?" Kallen asks me, looking sad with her vision.

"How everything is different." I say, picking up a stuffed animal on my hand, a tiny raccoon.

"It's a _tanuki_." Kallen looks at it, smiling a little.

"Yeah…" I don't know why, but I already knew that. Maybe I am Japanese after all. "Kallen, can we walk around a little?"

"Yes…" She looks at the ghetto again, looking more angry than anything. "It's so unfair!"

"What?"

"Britannia took everything from the Japanese, even the right to feel pride of who they are. Now, it sits over the ruins of this decaying place in the Settlement, while those who were born here suffer in the ghettos!" She says, angrier than I ever saw her before. "All because of a mineral! Mount Fuji has the largest amount of _sakuradite_ in the world and that's the reason why Japan was invaded in the first place! For the rest of the world is okay that the Japanese suffer, as long as they get their hands on the _sakuradite_! But the worst is that you can become an _honorary_ Britannian if you go to a government building and apply for it!"

"I know… Suzaku is one of them…" I fear even to talk with her in that state.

"It's pathetic! So the Britannians are the ones who decide who live and who dies? Why are they who decide and not the Japanese?" She is almost crying from anger. "No one should rule over those who don't want to be ruled!"

"Kallen…" That's when she notices that she has exploded and she turns red.

"I… said some weird things, haven't I?"

"No… you said what is in your heart and… you are not wrong." I look at the sky once more, thinking about the meaning of why I like it. "No one should be treated different because of who they are."

Is this conviction from my former self or I am developing a new persona as I live here? After some thought, I believe that it is my former self speaking here, that I am sure. I know how to pilot a Knightmare and I believe that Britannia is wrong… could be that I was some kind of rebel? Maybe I fought against Britannia and that is the reason why I distrust the Army? I can't say for now, but it looks like I am finding out more and more about myself every day that passes.

"You are really kind, Kallen." I say, smiling at her.

"W-Why?" She gets even more red than before.

"Because you, a Britannian, believe that this is all wrong. You can sympathize with those different from you. That's very kind, I think."

"Thank you…" She says, looking away and noticing something wrong. "What are these guys doing?"

I look in the direction she is facing and I see some punks breaking some of the graves, kicking and using the sticks used in them as bats. This makes me mad beyond reason, seeing those guys do something like this. I move forward to them, feeling Kallen's look in my back.

"Hey!" I say, angry.

"What do ya want, school boy?" One of them asks me.

"Stop this now!" I say, getting even madder when I see that they are Britannians. "The dead deserve some respect at least!"

"Hum?" The second one says looking truly confused. "But these are from the Elevens!"

"It doesn't matter!" I say, almost yelling with them, feeling the heat coming from my body. "Once you are dead, you are just dust, so stop this now!"

I have no idea why I am so mad, but I just found out that seeing they doing this make me feel a hate that I haven't felt ever since I lost my memories, probably. I look at an abandoned toy, a car made for you to push with your hand, all destroyed from the actions of those guys, making me close my hand in a fist.

"Come on, we are just messing around a little." One of them gets closer to me, menacing me with his eyes. "You don't want to stop our fun, do you?"

"Oh, I do." I say, looking at him with cold eyes. "You don't believe in how much I do."

The first one tries to deliver a punch in my face, but I avoid the blow, pick his arm with my hands and take him to the floor. Still holding his arm, I swing it in a very wrong way, hearing a loud crunch when I do the movement.

"My arm! You broke my fucking arm!" The guy cries from the pain.

"I will do worst if I ever saw you doing something like I just saw again." I release him and he goes to the floor, crying and moaning from the huge pain in his arm. "Next?"

The other two attack at the same time, but I move in a circle around myself and use the momentum to kick the leg of one of them, right at the knee. It won't be broken, but the pain will be almost the same. The other one stops and just keep looking at me, trying to decide if he should attack me. He picks up a knife and goes, but I am faster than him and grab his face with one of my hands, sending it to the floor with all my strength, making a loud noise when he hits the floor.

"Tell anyone that, if I ever saw or hear about this happening again, I will do worse than what I did today!" I say, putting my feet over the stomach of the first one, before going back to a shocked Kallen. "Oh… I…"

"That was the most impressive thing I ever saw!" She says, still shocked. "Shocking, but impressive."

"Thanks…" I say, blushing a little. "Can you never talk about the Council about this?"

"Only if you promise to never talk about what I said."

"It's a deal then." I say, smiling.

I found out that I am a skilled non-armed fighter and a good pilot of Knightmares. Who in Hell am I?


	4. Chapter 4

4: The Choice

**Black Knights Hideout**

Zero, or if you prefer Lelouch Lamperouge, is looking at some files in his desk when someone knocks the door of his office. Covering his face with his mask, he allows the person to come inside and he sees Kallen entering, a little embarrassed.

"Sorry for bothering you, Zero." She says, closing the door behind her.

"No problem Kallen. Now, why are you here?"

"I've come to talk about a potential recruit for the Black Knights." She says, serious.

"Hum… and who it may be?" Zero has the feeling that he already knows the answer.

"His name is Rai, Rai Hodges. He is a boy who lost his memories not so long ago and is staying at my school."

"I am aware of who he is." Zero says, more to himself than to Kallen.

"You do?" She looks surprised.

"Do you really think I would let someone so strange to get close to my ace pilot without further investigation?" Zero asks her, like it was an easy answer.

"Alright…" She says, recomposing herself. "I believe that he can be a good addiction to the Black Knights."

"And why is that?"

"Because he believes that Britannia is wrong in ruling forcefully over the Japanese. He also has amazing fighting abilities: he defeated three guys on his own and broke some bones from them."

"Really?" Zero wasn't expecting that.

"Yeah. His style of combat is very direct and effective: break the enemy in a way he can get up and fight back, dealing also a physiological blow, making the enemy believe that he is far superior to him."

"Is that so?" Zero thinks about the advantages of such a person in the Black Knights.

"I think that he could learn how to use a Knightmare easily and pilot one better than most people, if he is directed by a good teacher." Kallen says, trying to convince Zero.

"And that would be you, right?" Zero asks her, thinking about the possibility. "Maybe you are right: we could use him."

"Really?" She asks, happy.

"However, we must make the invitation in a way that he doesn't find out you are involved." Zero says.

"Why? If I were to ask him…"

"And he doesn't accept, we would have to kill him to keep your secret safe." Zero says, harsh. "Is that what you want, Kallen?"

"No… of course not…" She says, agreeing with Zero. "Then, if you excuse me."

After she leaves the room, Lelouch starts to think about Rai and how he could change the fight against Britannia. If Kallen is right, he could be an amazing soldier, but Lelouch knows he is something more. Rai always has the best organized papers in his work at the Student Council and also learns quickly from the subjects at school. Lelouch once saw him and Rivalz playing chess and Rivalz told him that Rai didn't lose a single time against him.

Maybe Lelouch should test Rai in chess himself, but Kallen may be right: he will be a valuable asset against Britannia. Lelouch also thinks that it will be good for Kallen, and maybe for himself as well, to have a known face around.

In the beginning, Lelouch distrusted Rai a great deal, but with time he started to like the other boy a lot, noticing how Nunnaly also likes him around a great deal. He decides to test Rai and, much probably, bring him in to the Black Knights.

* * *

**Cafeteria**

I finish my lunch and I decide what should I do after school today, weighting Milly's amusing me or walking around the Settlement by myself, since Kallen told me that she couldn't go with me today. Before I can decide, Suzaku appears in front of me and sits in the desk that I am.

"Hey Rai, how are you going?"

"Pretty well, telling you the truth." I say, smiling a little. "Is today that the results from my exams are ready, right?"

"Yes, and that is what I came to talk with you about." He says, a little serious. "Could you go to the lab today, after school? There is also something that I need to talk with you."

"Roger." I say to him and we start to talk about many things until lunch time is over.

**Student Council Room**

The last class of the day was canceled due to some problems the teacher had, so Lelouch asked me if I wanted to play some chess with him. I accepted and we moved to the Council room, with the rest following us to watch.

I must say that Lelouch is a much better player than Rivalz is, since he managed to defeat me. But after four matches, it ended up tied, with two wins to him and two to me, making everyone in the council impressed by my abilities.

"I never thought that I would see the day that Lelouch would lose!" Rivalz says, giving me some friendly slaps in the back. "Way to go pal."

"You could almost feel the electricity in the air." Shirley says (how can anyone find watching a chess match exciting I will never know).

"Be careful with him Lelouch, or he will end up defeating you." Milly says, slapping Lelouch's back a lot harder than Rivalz did to me (poor guy).

"You know Rai, we should really make this a habit, since we live in the same place." Lelouch says, looking at me and smiling.

"Yeah, that would be good." I say, smiling back.

My relation with Lelouch has become a lot better than it was in the past, with both of us treating each other very friendly and even having dinner together with Nunnaly once in a while. It's strange to think that he and I were so apart before.

"Hey Rai, should we go now?" Suzaku asks me, looking at the clock.

"Oh yeah." I say, getting up.

"Where are you guys going?" Shirley asks us, curious.

"I did some exams to help me find out more about myself and we are going to check the results." I say to her.

"Okay then." Milly says, looking at the others. "Now, everyone go work with something."

**Camelot Headquarters**

"So, what have you guys found about me?" I ask Lloyd and Cecile, who both have serious expressions on their faces.

"Well, we found some interesting things in your blood." Lloyd gives me a strange smile. "Very interesting, indeed."

"What is it?" I ask, worried. "Am I going to die from a terrible disease?"

"No, of course no!" Cecile says, relaxing me a little. "But…"

"Congratulations!" Lloyd says, looking happy. "You belong to Britannian Royalty!"

"What?"

"You have blood ties to the Royal Family, which means to the Emperor." Cecile says, too serious.

How could this be? Is it possible for me to be such a thing, a member of Royalty? Suzaku is as surprised as I am, but this opens up some question: who am I and how did I end up in Japan, or Area 11? But if it is true, then it might be easier to find out about who I am.

"However, there is just a tiny problem in that." Lloyd says, still smiling.

"What?" I look at him, worried.

"Only half of your blood is Britannian, while the other half… is Eleven." Cecile says, her voice failing for a second.

"What… what does that mean?" I ask them.

"It means that you are not a recognized child, most probably." Lloyd says. "You are a bastard."

"Lloyd!" Cecile slaps his head. "Don't say such things!"

A bastard… of someone from the Royal Family of Britannia. And with a Japanese, on top of everything. I have the impression that a bastard is already bad enough, but a bastard with a Number is probably even worst, like spilling salt in the wound.

"If someone finds out…" Suzaku says, looking at me.

"I will be killed to cover whoever is responsible." I say, calmer than I really am.

"Not if anyone knows of this." Lloyd says, getting a little more serious, but just a little.

"So, are you all keeping this secret?" I ask all of them.

"Of course we are!" Suzaku is the first to speak.

"Don't worry about it." Cecile says, giving me a warm smile.

"Well…" Lloyd seems to be about to says something on the contrary, but Cecile looks at him harshly and he changes his mind. "I will, but I also would like to ask you for something."

"And what it would be?" I ask, feeling that this is what he's been waiting for.

"Well, here at _Camelot_ several new technologies are tested to be later applied in Knightmares of the Army. However, to make a better use of those developments, we require amazing people to pilot the testing Knightmares, but these people are a rare sight, sadly."

"We were thinking if you could come and work at _Camelot_ as a pilot test." Cecile complements him.

"A test pilot?" I look at them, surprised by what they said.

"Well, once in a while we need to enter in combat, but not always. Normally you will just use simulations and rarely we will go in a field test, due to a short budget." Lloyd says, smiling in a way that makes me shiver. "So, what do you say?"

Accepting would mean joining the Army, a thing that my instincts tell me all the time to avoid. But it would also means that I could, in a certain degree, hide in plain sight, with no one being able to deduce that I have Royal blood. However, I cannot agree with what Britannia does in relation to other countries, especially with its colonies.

"I… will think about the proposal." I say, sweating a little.

"That's good." Lloyd says, looking at me with eyes filled with desire (that sounded so wrong).

"So… until tomorrow?" Suzaku asks me when he escorts me to the outside his ready full with thoughts as well.

"Yeah… sure." I say, not paying much attention to what he says, just leaving the place.

**Tokyo Settlement**

I walk for some time, but I don't go back to school just yet, rather going to the Settlement where I can think a little more. I have no idea if I should or not accept the invitation to join the Army, mainly because my instincts keep telling me that I shouldn't, but also because that it serves Britannia and helps in the subjugation of so many.

I see in a screen an image of Zero, probably the man of the moment in Area 11. He and his Order of the Black Knights are said to be heroes of justice, no matter who needs their help. I can sympathize with them a lot more than with the Army because of their conduct, to say the least.

My new cell phone rings, warning me that I received a message from someone, so I open it. I was happy to find out that I can handle this thing quite easily, so I find quickly the place of the messages, finding one that the screens says is from Kallen:

"_Could you meet me at the park, in the usual place? It's an emergency._"

Sounds serious, so I decide to go there and see what is wrong with her, since I am already pretty close to the park. As I walk there, I decide to ask Kallen about my problem and how I can solve it, even telling her about my distrust of the Army.

**Park**

Arriving at our usual place, I don't see Kallen around in any direction that I look. Maybe she is late? I look again at the message, making sure that it is from her when the cell phone rings, warning me that it is Kallen calling.

"Hello, Kallen?" I ask on the phone, but it isn't her who answers.

"Sorry, but no." A male voice, very familiar to tell the truth, speaks in Kallen's place. "Now, don't make any sound to indicate that it isn't who you were hoping for, or she might get hurt."

"Hey, how are you doing? I hope that you are alright?" I ask, looking around me to check if someone is near me, but I see no one.

"You are better than I expected. Now, move to the south entrance of the park and we won't hurt your friend." He says, coldly. "And don't turn off the phone as well."

"South, hum? Alright, I am making my way there now." I say, starting to move.

For now, all I can do is to go along whatever is the person on the other side of the line, at least until I confirm if Kallen is okay. It may be a stupid thing to just go along it without making sure that they indeed have Kallen, but I won't risk her life for anything.

"Okay, I am at the south entrance, so what now?" I ask the person on the phone, still trying to find anyone suspicious.

"A back car will appear and you will enter it, without hanging up the phone, of course. They will take you to the place where Kallen and the rest of us are."

As he says, a black car appears and its door is open, so I enter it, stopping for just a second of surprise to see that the two men inside are wearing the Black Knight's uniform. I sit facing them and the car starts to move, with the two looking at me with those weird purple glasses that cover their whole face.

Just saying, I find these uniforms strangely ugly, especially the hat (makes them look like one of the guys who carry your bags at a hotel, you know?) and those mask/glasses (purple, really?). However, the two rifles those two are carrying make up to the ugliness, making me a little too aware of them.

As we move, I start to play simulations on my head about how I could disarm and take the car for myself (that must be the reason why the man in the phone wants me to keep with it: to stop me from doing it). After I found out at least eight different ones, we stop and they tell me to get out of the car.

**Shinjuku Ghetto**

Out, I see that we are now at one of the ghettos made for the Japanese people and there are more members of the Black Knights around. They conduct me into what used to be a metro station, now completely abandoned, and conduct me into a larger place, with part of the ceiling broken, showing the moon already.

In the center, a huge pile of debris can be seen and, at the top of it, Zero looks at me (at least I think he is, since I can see his eyes). The leader of the Order of the Black Knights and me are less than ten meters from each other, so close that I can feel the tension he emanates from his self.

"So, we meet at last, Rai Hodges." He speaks, his voice echoing around the place, with his minions standing around us.

"So, where is Kallen?" I ask, looking straight at him, trying to show no weaknesses.

"Probably at her home, safe and sound." I keep staring at him for some time. "I would never lay a finger in an innocent person, so be calm about her."

"Then why did you lure me here?" I say, trying to hide my anger and surprise from being caught in a trap. "I have no value to you."

"Oh, but you do have value to me." He says.

Could be that he knows about my bloodline? No, there must be something else involved, since I just found out about it myself today. Does he know about the fact that I have no memories and, somehow, we know each other? That would explain a lot of things about myself, including my Knightmare abilities and fighting skills.

"What do you mean?" I ask, trying to evaluate the ground before going in.

"I heard about you by some sources, my friend: your tactical mind and your martial arts skills have impressed me in a great extent." He says, something akin to proud in his voice. "That's why I come to you today with an invitation in mind."

"An invitation?" I can hear my own voice repeating what he said, having a feeling about what it is.

"I want you to join the Black Knights." Zero says, opening his arms and making his cape open a lot. "Surely you saw how Area 11 is and how the true citizens of Japan are treated! That's why I want you to help us in destroying the evil that is corrupting this place once and for all."

"You mean Britannia." I say, making a pretty serious face.

"Yes, that's right!" He closes his right hand in a fist and starts to walk around. "Britannia is an evil so great that greater men must stand up against it, including you, my friend."

His speech could be touching, if I wasn't angry with him and his minions for luring me here (even if it was a good trap, I must admit (and it really helped that I am pretty dumb (even if I am not (why does the word "inception" comes to my mind all of a sudden?)))). At the moment, I am still considering the Army's proposal and now the Black Knights come with another one, making my life even less complicated.

"Sorry, but I can't give you an answer right now." I say, looking right at his mask.

"And why is that?" He asks me, curious.

"Do you really expect me to just decide such an important thing all of a sudden, just because you want?" I answer, being very harsh with him.

"Hey!" One of the Black Knights, one with a goatee and red hair, gets angry. "How dare you speak with Zero this way!"

"Shut up!" Zero says, making the guy stop talking. "I see your point. Therefore, I will give you three days to think about it carefully. Come at the park by the south entrance at the same time as today and you will answer."

"What if I don't go?" I ask, feeling all the looks on me, probably impressed that I am really facing Zero that way.

"Then I will take your answer as a negative." He says, giving me his back.

"And what will you do if I decide to not join your group?"

"I will leave you alone, since everyone can perfectly decide what they want to do with their lives." That being said, he leaves and I am escorted back to the park by the Black Knights.

**Rooftop**

I am with my back in the floor, looking at the blue sky, completely at loss about what should I do with my "proposals of business", let's call them like that. I must decide between the Army and the Black Knights, a decision that will probably change my life here at Japan.

Of course, I could decline both of them, but I fell that this is the wrong choice to be made, even after some consideration on the subject. However, I have two more days to make up my mind on the matter, but I shouldn't leave it to the last hour, making my decision fast.

"So here you are." Suzaku's voice can be heard from the entrance of the rooftop. "I was looking for you."

"I can't even imagine what will be the topic of this conversation." I say, unusually sarcastic.

"Yeah, you are probably right." He lies at my side, watching the clouds passing by. "It would be really good for you, joining the Army and everything."

"And why is that?" I ask, my head hurting with all the ins and outs that I passed inside my mind.

"It would give you something to do and maybe it will help you recover your memories." He looks at me with a serious expression. "I think you were involved with militaries before, since you know how to pilot a Knightmare and tactics."

This thinking passed my mind already and I believe that it is correct, since I feel comfortable with the thought. But I have no idea which military I was involved in the past, so it is pretty much a useless knowledge right now.

"Maybe, but I am not sure if I should join them." I say, looking at Suzaku's eyes. "I can't agree with the way the Japanese are treated by Britannia."

"Yeah, me too." He says, going back at looking to the clouds. "That's why I am in the military: to change Britannia from the inside without any kind of blood involved."

"You do realize that this is a very hard path you decided to take, right?"

"Yes, but it doesn't matter. One person has to give the first step and, maybe, start the change of the world." He says, smiling a little. "I believe in that and that's why I would really appreciate if you were to join _Camelot_ with me."

"To help you into achieving this dream of yours?" I am still a little cynic about what he said, but his words make me wonder.

"Yes. Alone, I will must probably never achieve anything, but with someone I trust at my side, maybe I can change the world for the better."

"Maybe…" I say, thinking about what he just said.

"Well, let's go back to the class, shall we?" Suzaku says, cleaning his uniform from being lied on the ground. "Are you coming or not?"

"Yeah… just after you…" I say to him, still thinking of what he said.

Maybe I don't need to join the Army because of who they are, but rather because of Suzaku. True, I can't see his plans being a success, but if someone can make them real, this one is Suzaku and no one else. I try to find an answer at the sky, but (thank God, or I would be really scared) the sky doesn't say anything to my poor mind.

* * *

I am back to the rooftop after the classes are finished and I watch the sunset, still unable to come up with an answer to my dilemma. I sense something behind me and, before I can turn back to check, my vision is completely blocked and I fell two large and soft objects touching my back.

"Guess who?" A happy female voice speaks to me.

"Milly." She doesn't even need to ask, since I discovered the moment I felt that strangely good softness in my back.

"That's right!" She says, looking as happy as always. "Everyone told me that you were spacing a lot today, so I decide to come in and check on you, to see how are you doing."

"I am fine, I guess…" I say, but then I think, why not? "It's just that I have been thinking about something."

"And what is it?" She asks me, still smiling but a bit more serious than before.

"I was given two choices to make, but I have no idea which one should I choose. I can't tell you what they are, but I can say that they will affect my life."

"Well…" She thinks about it for a while, and then she answers. "I can give you this piece of advice: follow your heart, because it will probably be the best choice ever."

"Yeah… maybe you are right." I say, not so satisfied with the answer.

"Of course I am right!" She says, getting her face closer to mine. "But know this: no matter what are your choices, always remember that the student council is here to help you."

"Thanks, Milly…" I say, giving her a tiny smile.

**Lelouch's Room**

Lelouch invited me for some chess, so I went to try to distract my mind from my problem, but even chess can't help me at the moment. After the second defeat in a row, Lelouch looks at me and stops playing a little.

"Something in your mind?"

"Yeah, you can say that." I say, sighing a little. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." Lelouch says, drinking some of the tea that Sayoko prepared for us.

"How do you make hard decisions?" I ask, looking at one of the black paws.

"Well… I consider every possible angle on the problem before deciding anything." He says and, after some time, adds: "However, sometimes following your instincts can be better than just think too much about it."

"I see…"

Then, what will be my answer to the problem: following the path of revolution with the Black Knights or the one of internal change in the Army? Zero, or Suzaku? That feeling that I shouldn't trust the Army isn't gone, but I think of Suzaku and his impossible dreams, while Zero has a much more plausible objective in mind.

After some time, I decide to let my heart decide and not my mind, feeling what will be the best solution for this whole thing, the one that may bring some good to the world.

That's when I make my decision, after a whole day thinking and asking for advices from a whole number of people. I smile, thinking that my path is clear for now on.

"Thanks, Lelouch." I say to him.

"You are welcome." I don't know why, but I fell something else in his smile.

* * *

Rai will soon come with his answer, but Zero is sure of what it will be, since he was with him the night he made his decision. It is so simple that he should have already prepared the uniform for Rai to use, but let's not get so ahead of ourselves here.

Rai enters the place, escorted by the Black Knights, his blue eyes filled with resolution. He looks at Zero for some time before speaking.

"Hello Zero. I come with an answer to you invitation."

"And?"

"I am sorry, but I won't join the Black Knights."

"What?" Not just him, but Kallen, one of the people with the face covered, exclaim, completely caught off guard. "Why?"

"Because I found a person that convinced me to not think about it too much, but rather follow my instincts and my heart. Sadly, they don't say to me to join you." Rai says, his eyes full of his resolution.

"I see… but be warned that this invitation won't happen again." Zero says, trying one last time.

"I know, but my answer doesn't change." Rai says. "I am sorry."

Rai leaves after that, leaving the astonished Kallen to wonder what happened to make him refuse. His talents will go completely to waste if he doesn't join the Black Knights, so what is he going to do then?

* * *

**Camelot Headquarters**

"So, what is your answer, Rai?" Lloyd asks me, looking in my eyes.

"I accept to be a soldier in the _Camelot_ unit, Lloyd." I say, without a single doubt in my mind.

"Then welcome to _Camelot_, young man." Lloyd smiles in a very satisfied way.


	5. Chapter 5

5: The Soldier

**Camelot Headquarters**

"Miss Cecile… are you sure that you know what you are doing?" I ask at her, as she knees down in front of me.

"Well, it is my first time doing it, but I will make sure to try my best." She says, giving a warm smile. "How hard can it be?"

"Just be careful to not incidentally hurt me, okay?" I say, nervous as she holds my pants with her hands.

"Hey, Rai, Lloyd is… oh, sorry." Suzaku enters the room and stops when he notices what I and Cecile are doing. "I didn't know…"

"Suzaku, come here and help me." She says, looking at him.

"Do you really need help for something like this?" I say, seriously doubting her skills, even at something so trivial.

"Every woman should be able to do such a thing! You know pretty well that a lot of us can do much more, so this must be easy." She sounds a little angry.

"There are some men who can manage it pretty well." Suzaku says, smiling a little. "I once saw Lelouch doing it and he was quite good at it."

"Alright then." Cecile says as Suzaku comes closer to us. "Hold it steady here… yes, right here!" She says as Suzaku holds the thing. "Now I can get my hands free.

I can still don't believe that Cecile is making two people do it when just one is good enough to do a good job. Personally, how hard it is to take the measures of a person?

"And… we are finished." Cecile says, looking at her notes with all my measures. "Your uniform and pilot suit will be ready in two days without fault."

"Okay." I say, picking up all the pins in my clothes. "Again, why do you needed those pins if you just did some measurements?"

"Well… because it made it looks like more professional, you know?" Cecile says, giving me a smile.

"Just for this…?" I look at her, feeling that she should really find better reasons for doing anything.

This is my first day in the new job after I accepted Lloyd's proposal and I became a test pilot for the machines he develops together with Suzaku. Lloyd says that he has some ideas for a unique Knightmare for me, one who will match his _Lancelot_, but we doesn't have enough budget at the moment, so I will have to use a modified _Sutherland_ by the time being.

"Oh, hello Rai." Lloyd looks at me as I get to where he is waiting for me, a pile of paper in front of him.

"Did you called me?" I ask, looking at the pile of paper with a shiver in the spine, all thanks to Milly's demonical demands.

"As you know, since you have no memories or no documents to prove you existed, making you join the Army would be a rather difficult thing. However, I made some effort and got everything for you here." He points to the pile. "All you have to do is sign some of those papers and, by tomorrow, I will have all your documents and even some references from your fake past."

"Fake past?" I look at him, picking up a paper and looking at it.

"Well, we don't know your true one and we just can't tell anyone you are of Royalty and also an Eleven, so we need to create one for you." He says, putting his head on one hand and supporting it in the desk. "You were born in California and your parents died when you were twelve, with you traveling the world with an uncle of yours until he died and you ended up in Area 11 and entered _Camelot_."

"Sounds… like a good cover story…" I say, starting to sign the papers in front of me. "Okay, I am finished."

"So, now you will be an official citizen of the Britannian Empire. I will have some "friends" to speed up the process and make sure that your registries will be from since you were born." Lloyd says, looking at me.

"Thanks for everything." I say, bowing my head to him.

"So, you can go home now, but come here by tomorrow after school so we can start some new simulations of new ideas I've been working on." Lloyd says, giving me a happy look.

"Yes sir!" I say, trying to look more like a military, now that I am a real one.

"I can leave you at the school." Suzaku says, getting out of the place with me.

**Rai's Room**

I keep staring at the ceiling of my own room, trying to think about my fake life made up by Lloyd and what might happens when I get back my own memories. Maybe the life I get before was worse than the one I am having now and getting a new one may be a good thing. But what if I left something really important behind and I must get it back?

I have no idea of what I should do, but I guess I will go along with being Rai Hodges for now, at least until I get my memories back. Then I can decide on what I will do.

* * *

_I climb the side of the ship with the camo on, not being detected by the guards in the deck. After I finish the climbing, I move quietly looking for my target in the main cabin of the ship. I get there without setting up any alarm, but two guards are standing at the door, but I can manage them easily._

"_Ignore everything that may happen in the nest four hours." I tell them and a red globe appears and their eyes show a red ring on them._

"_Of course, sir." They both say, so I just enter the room and see the man sleeping in a couch._

_He is not alone, however, as I look around and I see two girls and an older boy by an open door, probably his daughters and son. They don't change my mission for nothing, so I just grab my silenced pistol and I point to the man in the couch, my target._

"_Honey, have you slept…" A woman appears from the room with the kids and sees me, not completely hidden even with the camo on. He looks at me with surprise freezing right there. "Who are you?"_

_I turn off my cloak and she sees me without the camo, wearing a black tight suit and covering my face with a mask. The kids sense that something is wrong and they come to the room where their father is asleep, completely unaware of what is happening._

"_Please…" The woman begs me while protecting the children with her body. "Don't kill any of us…"_

_No one will hear them, even if they scream, due to how deep these private chambers are and to the material the walls are made to prevent explosions. A perfect safe house, except if someone manages to get on the inside. The directives demand me to leave no witness to the executions, even children, so her words can't affect me at the moment._

_Without even looking at the man in the couch, I shoot and spill some blood over the expensive looking couch. The woman starts to run to the other room with the children, but I manage to hit her shoulder and she goes to the floor, crawling to escape from me. Sadly, no one escapes from me._

_She picks up a gun from a hidden place by the bar, but I shoot her hand and destroy some fingers and make her release the gun. I move and she looks at me in despair, but she doesn't fear for his life, instead thinking of her children. I point a gun to her head, the best way to kill someone: without pain._

"_Leave her alone!" The boy says, pointing a gun to me._

"_That isn't a toy, kid." I say, cold and emotionless._

"_You killed my…" Before he can finish, my bullet pass right through his right eye, making a tiny hole on it._

"_N-No… Ti…" The woman follows him to the other world._

_I go to the girl's room and I see them under the bed, trying to hide from me, so I have to drag them from inside there. I push one and I see that she can't be more than five before killing her. The other one starts to punch me to try to save her sister, but she cries when she stops moving._

_The little one goes on and push the older one, like she is trying to wake her up, crying and screaming for her. No one will hear her, except by the guards under my Geass command, so I have no need to hurry. I point the gun to the girl's head, but she doesn't move from where she is._

_I look at her terrified eyes and I see myself on them, my black mask looking back at me. I point my gun to her, getting close enough to the shot is nothing less than fatal._

_I pull the trigger._

* * *

I wake up covered in sweat after a terrible nightmare, shaking without control as I pass my hands in my face, cleaning the sweat on it. I get out of the bed and go to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water, drinking it all in a single sip. I put more cold water on it and put it in my forehead, enjoying the cold sensation that comes with it.

That was too vivid to be just a bad dream, but could it be truly a memory from my past? Could be that I was so cruel to the point where I… No, I can't think about it, no matter what happens. But, if what I saw indeed happened, then I am as dangerous as Lelouch initially thought of me, even more than he could ever think.

Apparently I was an assassin, but apparently a highly skilled one, judging for the tech I was using and how I dealt with the stealth part. But who I was working for and who was the people I killed? And why I don't remember anything?

But it could be that I am not the person in those memories, but I am just seeing something from other one… yeah, like I really believe this. I need to find out who I am, but it looks harder every day, because it may not be enough to just go around the Settlement.

Maybe entering the Army is the best thing for me to recover them, since going back into military activities, as I should have been engaged before, might trigger more of them. But for the first time since I got here, I fear for what I will find out about me and what it will mean for my current life.

**Camelot Headquarters**

"Have you finished, Rai?" Suzaku asks me from outside the room.

"Just a second." I say, closing the Knightmare suit and looking at myself in the mirror.

The suit is similar to the one used by Suzaku, only that mine has blue lines instead of the yellow ones his suit has. My headset is also different, being blue and white while his own is red and white. I get out and he is already with it, ready for the work of the day.

Basically, we will ride simulators to test if Lloyd's creations are suitable for being used for real. Sometimes we go and test them in real combat under supervision, only them sending it to use at the field. But sometimes this order can get messed, like when the _Lancelot_ was first used.

"So, did the suit fits on you?" Cecile asks me as we both get to the simulators.

"Yes, it is good, thank you." I say, bowing my head to her. "So, when do we start?"

"I like your enthusiasm." Lloyd appears, holding a tablet. "Rai, go to simulator number two while Suzaku uses number three."

"Roger." We both say, going to our designed places.

I turn the simulation on and the screen goes live as I look into a forested place, with several trees and a small open field behind me. I will be using the simulator from my modified _Sutherland_, so it won't be like when I did the test simulation using the _Lancelot_, in order to get used to it.

"Alright Rai, let me show you the new toys I came up with." Lloyd says by the communicator. "Grab your _MVS_."

MV stands for Maser Vibration Sword, a special type of sword created for Knightmares who uses a extremely high oscillation rate and temperature, creating a blade capable of cutting almost anything in its way. I heard that a variation of it was created by the Black Knights, but so far no one saw them.

"It's… different from the ones in the _Lancelot_." I say, noticing that it has a longer hilt.

"It is supposed to be." Lloyd says to me by the communicator. "It is a lance and not a sword, after all. You can join them into a single double bladed lance."

I try what Lloyd speaks off, joining the two blades into one and watching as they fuse into a big double lance. I move it around a little, getting used to the feeling of using it, feeling its long reach and how difficult it could get in locked places.

"So, what do you think?" Cecile asked me from the communicator.

"It will need some time to get used to it, but I will manage." I say, swinging it around me in circles and spinning the whole Knightmare with it.

"Next: your Assault Rifle was modified to have a Snipe Mode, specially made for you after the ability you showed with one that day." I put the swords back and pick up the rifle, turning it into a sniper. "It will only allow a bullet at a time, but you will win a lot in accuracy and firepower, since it will pierce through most armors."

"Thanks, Lloyd." I say, aiming at a tree three hundred meters away, hitting it with my bullet. "I just hope they are like this in real life."

"Don't worry about it. For now, just worry about knowing your Knightmare." Lloyd tells me. "You have two _Slash Harkens_ in the arms as well, but I haven't installed the _Blaze Luminous System_ of the _Lancelot_ yet, so be careful about being attacked."

"Okay then…" I say, testing the frame a little more. "I am ready for the simulation."

"Alright then." Cecile says, sounding more serious. "You and Suzaku will coordinate an attack to a rebel convoy in the woods. The number of enemies is unknown and you must retrieve the cargo in the trucks alongside them."

"Do we know what kind of Knightmares the enemy has?" Suzaku asks, like this is a real mission.

"Most possibly _Burais_ and stolen _Sutherlands_." Cecile informs us. "Be careful and proceed fast at them."

"Yes, my Lord!" We both say to her, starting to move in the woods.

"Suzaku, what will be our plan?" I ask him.

"You are the chess master here, so you tell me." Suzaku says, passing the hot potato to me.

I think about it for a while and come up with some conclusions: we must know the enemy force before heading against them. Secondary to this, we must also think in a way to coordinate our forces, since this is the first time we ever worked together.

"Let's try to avoid them noticing us for the moment. After we know what is their forces, we will proceed with an attack." I tell him.

We move in a slower pace, trying to not make unnecessary noise as we look for the enemy. After some time, we find them escorting three trucks: four _Burais_ and four _Sutherlands_. I notice that they are well distributed alongside the three trucks: three in the front, three in the rear and two by the middle.

Still covered by the trees, Suzaku and me look at the enemies riding by the abandoned road. They may have someone hiding behind, but the way they all move and they formation tells me that it is not the case here. These are all the enemies at hand, so I already have a plan formed.

"Suzaku, you will attack from the front while I shoot at them from behind with my sniper. They will probably scatter and break the formation, going to the trees, giving us the chance to destroy them one by one."

Suzaku agrees with the plan and moves to a place from where he can surprise them when I give the signal. I take a position from where I have a clear line of fire on their back, just for enough time to destroy them. I give Suzaku the signal and I see the enemies in the back stopping.

I count to ten before giving the first shot, passing my bullet through the cockpit of the enemy standing at the center of the rear line, destroying it. The other two move away from him, trying to get cover using the trees, so I start moving to the forest by the left side.

I find the enemy looking for a way to get back to the fight, but I get my Assault Rifle and deliver a rain of bullets into him, destroying his Knightmare's left arm before exploding him. I activate the Sniper Mode once more, reload and aim into another one of the frames, one who was in the middle, and shoot, destroying him in the process.

"How many did you got?" I ask Suzaku, to have an idea in our situation.

"Three… wait, four." He says. "I just finished one. The other ram into the forest."

"Keep the trucks safe while I hunt the two remaining." I say, moving after him.

I find the tracks left by one of them, so I start to follow it, getting my two _MVS_ out of their sheets. After some time, I avoid some incoming fire launched by my side, as the enemy _Sutherland_ comes at me. I join the two swords into one double lance, getting reach and use it to cut the Assault Rifle of the enemy in two. He gets his _Stun Tonfa_ out, ready for a hand-to-hand combat, but his blows are easily deflected by me, who uses an opportunity to defend and pass the blade of my weapon by his cockpit at the same time.

As soon as I end this, I see the last enemy getting ready for a surprise attack, but I send my double lance flying towards him, impaling him in the chest and making him go to the ground. I take out the lance from the impaled Knightmare, leaving it intact except by the hole in the cockpit, and some blood from its pilot (these simulations are quite good).

The words "Mission Accomplished" appear in front of me, while the simulator starts to turn off and I get out of it, a little tired from the action. Lloyd and Cecile are analyzing the data we got from it while Suzaku comes at me, smiling a little.

"That was pretty good for your first day." He says.

"Thanks." I reply, taking a deep breath before continuing. "Is it always like that?"

"Mostly. Sometimes we go and test the real Knightmares with dummies. Maybe we will see combat once in a while, but just because our Knightmares need data from real combat." He says to me, cleaning some sweat from his forehead. "By the way, did you got the teacher's lesson from History?"

"Yeah… why?" I say, looking at him.

"Could you please explain it to me? I didn't got it so well…"

In the end, me and Suzaku had a private session of study while Lloyd and Cecile looked over the data they got from the simulation. I find out that Suzaku is not so good with his studies in History… or any subject for that matter, since he stayed out of school for many years before joining Ashford Academy.

"S-Sorry…" He says, looking away with a red face. "For making you doing this for me."

"Hey, that's no big deal." I say to him, trying to calm him. "Besides, I am your partner, right?"

We finish the lesson more or less at the same time Lloyd and Cecile end their analyzing of the data, coming to us. Cecile looks happy, but Lloyd is almost jumping from joy, so I guess that we did a good job.

"That was an amazing gathering of data!" Lloyd says, like he is about to hug us. "Looks like we may be able to build another _Lancelot_, after all."

"Aside from that." Cecile interrupts him, but he doesn't care. "It's good to see you guys in synchrony like that."

"Now I need you two to change your clothes and do something of equal importance to me." Lloyd says to us, giving us a strange look.

**Shopping Mall**

"So… Lloyd sent us here to…" I say, looking with disbelief to the list given to us.

"To buy him pudding and some things for Cecile to cook, yeah." Suzaku says, looking at some carrots. "At least you are using your uniform for something."

I am wearing my orange Army uniform right now, but I don't think that this is a very good use for it, to tell the truth. But it makes me feel like I belong somewhere, so it kind of makes me happy. But then I remember of my dream last night, so my mood goes down quickly.

"What's wrong?" Suzaku asks me.

"Nothing." I say, looking away for some more things from the list. "We still need…"

"Everybody freeze!" Two thugs with guns enter the store, carrying a bag with them. "We want all the money in the cashier and we will hurt you if we don't get it!"

I look at Suzaku and he looks at me, both of us smiling like fools.

* * *

"Thank you so much for this!" The owner of the store says, greeting me while Suzaku look over the two thugs, who are badly hurt in the ground.

"This is anything, so don't worry about it." I say, smiling and embarrassed.

"But I need to thank both of you in some way! Take anything you want for free!" He says, holding my right hand with gratitude in his eyes.

"Hum…" I say, unsure of how to answer.

In the end, we picked up everything we went to buy for free, which is a good thing, in a way. We went back to the headquarters to deliver the pudding and the things.

I wonder how long it will take for me to remember about my life, but I ask myself if I do want to remember what I was before. After what I saw in my dream, I am not so sure anymore.

Maybe this life I have now is a lot better than the one before, but I will still pursue them all, because I want to know what happened to that girl, maybe because of the feeling that she is important, somehow. In some strange way, I feel that she is a key point in them.


	6. Chapter 6

**6: The Guilt**

**Tokyo International Airport**

I look at my clock once more to see how long I will have to wait for these new students to appear, seeing that his plane is already fifteen minutes late. I sigh and I look out of the window at the planes waiting to fly in the sky, thinking about that memory that I remembered the one with the assassination. I saw it again, but this time it seemed different, mainly because I recognized myself doing it and my body reacted to the dream, so much that I woke up covered in sweat and my heart faster than a bird's.

What does it mean, remembering it now? And why does that specific memory, of all of them? I am probably around the same age as everyone in the student council, so I surely have a lot of other memories, but the one I remembers first is… that horrific murder spree.

I feel every day that the last girl, the one I never see dyeing, is the most important of the memory, but I can't remember why. Could it be that she somehow survives the massacre? I force myself into remembering it, but my efforts are in vain. All I remember is the color of her eyes: yellow eyes, filled with fear of death.

"Boy, you do have some dark thoughts, don't you?" A man behind me says, smiling mischievously.

"What?" I ask, wondering who he is.

The man has a white hair and his eyes are covered by sunglasses, so I can't say which color they are. He wears white clothes and has a mischievous smile on his face. He makes me uneasy, in some way, so I get my body ready for anything.

"You know, you have no need to worry about me: you will probably defeat me in a physical confrontation." He says, making me wonder if it isn't some kind of trap. "No, it is not a trap."

("How in Hell can he…") I think, surprised.

"He can know what I am thinking?" He smiles again, uncovering his eyes and allowing me to see a Geass sigil on both of them. "Now you get it?"

"You have…" I say, shocked.

"No need to say anything: just think of it and spare us precious moments." He says to me, smiling and getting at my side. "I am Mao, by the way."

("Mao…?") I am still shocked about him, but I try to hide it from him.

"No need to hide anything: I know everything you do, remember?"

("Alright… and why are you here?") I think, trying to find out more about him.

"You are a smarter guy than I thought: the majority of the people would keep talking with their mouths, but not you." He looks at a plane getting in the air. "And to answer your question: I am here to look for a person."

("Who?") I ask him, in an attempt to find more about this Mao.

"The most important person in the world, at least for me." He says, looking in my eyes (at least I think that it is in my eyes.) "She is my true and only love in the whole world, no one being able to replace her."

("I see…") I look at the sunset, wondering who it could be. ("Is she in Area 11?")

"Indeed, she is. But an evil man is holding her against her will, so I must release her from his devilish hands." He looks at me, looking full of expectation. "If you ever see a girl called C.C, please tell me."

("Okay…") I think, wondering who could have a name like C.C. ("Hope you… find her.")

"Yes, me too!" He looks at me for some time, before talking again. "And be assured: I won't talk to anyone about your little secret in that ship, okay?"

"You…" I say, but then I noticed. "Of course, you can read minds."

"That's right, so I hope that, by the time we see each other again, you will have figured out who that girl is." He smiles and starts to depart, but stops after a few steps. "Oh, one more thing before I depart: be careful on where your memories might lead you, my friend."

I watch him leaving, my head working at full speed on what did he meant by that. Could he mean that he saw something from inside my mind? That means that I have killed more people in the past, or it is something even darker than that? I space out for a minute before noticing a girl in front of me.

"Ah… Hello?" She has a blonde hair and green eyes and a pretty good body figure (I guess walking around Rivalz too much can damage your brain.) "Are you the guy who was waiting for us?"

"Oh… y-yeah! Sorry about… spacing out." I say, getting hot from the embarrassment. "Welcome to Area 11, miss…?"

"Zevon. My name is Oldrin Zevon." She says, smiling as she stands her hand to me.

"I am Rai… Humr!" I say, feeling an acute pain in my head and almost falling to the ground.

* * *

_I get inside the mansion just like planed, the security guards unaware of my presence in the garden. I move without making a noise to a window, picking up and laser knife to cut the glass without alerting anyone. Once opened, I enter by it and close it, putting the cut piece of glass back in its place, so no one would notice the invasion._

_According to the map I memorized, the room of the safe is in the second floor, but almost all the employees are out of the mansion by now, except maybe by a few security guards and some more older ones. I move swiftly by the huge mansion, using the shadows to my advantage and the cloak tech to avoid detection when someone appears._

_I pass by the living room and I see the owner of the house still awake: a woman with blonde hair and an easy smile, with a little girl at her feet, playing with dolls and tiny houses. I pass by then, taking the care to not expose myself, I go deeper into the mansion._

_I hack into the security system of the main office, which is apart from the house's main one, and I enter the room, closing the door behind me to avoid being detected. Activating my night vision system, I look around for places where the safe might be, looking constantly at my watch, which has a magnetic detector._

_I find the safe and noticed that it has a double security measurement: a conventional old opening mechanism and a digital one, with a tiny board with numbers. Reinforce the new tech with the old one, by the looks of it, a pretty good trick, but I am better. I crack it open within ten minutes, a new record by my standards._

"_Don't even think about moving." I hear the sound of a gun being ready to be fired and the lights go on, hurting my eyes with the sudden clarity. "Now, who the fuck are you?"_

_I look at a white haired man pointing a handgun at me, ready to fire. His green eyes looking at me with suspicious, but a little of fear. I wonder how he managed to find out about me when I see the camera at the corner, too tiny for anyone to notice at first glance and it wasn't in the mansion's schematics as well._

"_I will ask again: who are you?" The man points the gun directly at my head. "I won't ask again."_

"_Seems like it." I say, looking for the right moment. "But, sadly for you, I won't answer that."_

_He fires, but at my shoulder, probably hoping to take information out of me later, just like I predicted. I avoid the bullet and it just pass by my shoulder, making a scratch, while I get my knife and I throw at him, hitting his throat with enough strength to send him back a little._

_I hear people yelling around because of the shot, so I can't be subtle anymore. I reach for a little explosive from my belt, strong enough to destroy the safe without hurting myself in the process. I stick it at the safe and explode it, destroying the door completely._

_I look at what is inside: documents that, in the hands of the wrong people, could really damage my masters. I pick them up, alongside the memory drive that was in there as well. Before I can get out of the place, I hear a scream of despair._

"_Daddy!" The girl I saw earlier is pushing the body of the man who was killed earlier. "Please, wake up!"_

"_Oldrin, get out of here, now!" The woman I saw earlier, Victoria Zevon, head of the Zevon family, blocks the view of the girl with her body, three knifes in each of her hands. "Go to Emily, now!"_

_She comes at me, ready for a fight, but I grab my gun and tries to fire, but she hits my gun with her hand and make the bullet goes to the ceiling, using this opportunity to strike with the knifes, but I avoid it by just a millimeter. I do a backwards mortal and try another shot, but she goes to behind a desk and avoids the bullets I send at her._

_She is far more skilled in this than the man before, probably her husband, so I can't just underestimate her in any way. That's why I conceive a plan that she will never suspect before it is too late._

_She comes again, but I let her approach me, just avoiding getting a mortal wound. I push her away and go to the window, jumping from it and breaking the glass on it, pressing a button on my way down. When I land, feeling the bones in my shoulder breaking, I hear the sound of the explosive that I put in her ribs going off, making a huge noise, and ending her pursuit for me._

"_There he is!" The guards have already spotted me. "Kill him!"_

_I use a flash bang and make them blind before running to the wall that separates the garden from a wood, jumping it with extreme difficult, due to my shoulder. Getting on the other side, I hear dogs barging, so I know that I must haste before they get to me._

* * *

"Hey, are you alright?" A grown up Oldrin Zevon asks me, since I felt and got on my knees during the memory.

"Y-Y-Yeah… d-don't worry about me…" I get up, still shaking a lot. "I… will conduct you and…"

"I am Marrybell." The other one says, concealing most of her face with a hood.

"A-Alright, then… we should get to Ashford…" I say, cleaning the sweat from my forehead.

"Are you sure you are okay?" Oldrin asks me, her eyes too similar to the woman who fought back.

"Yes! Just… don't worry about me, alright?" At least not in that way.

**Student Council Room**

"A-A-A-A prin…" Rivalz seems without words.

"Yes, I am a princess already." The one called Marrybell, smiling. "But don't act different just because of that."

Everyone in the council just found out that Marrybell is a prince of Britannia and Oldrin, her Knight. She looks at me, but I look away from her eyes, guilty filling my chest as I try to just make the wall to swallow me. If I was ashamed of my memories before, now it is even worst, since I have a reminder of it right in the room.

"I didn't wanted to create a big ruckus by coming, so I did it disguised and the Ashford family agreed to help me." She says, looking a little embarrassed. "Sorry about the trouble."

"It's no problem at all, you Highness!" Shirley says, almost getting on her knees.

"Please, don't treat me like a princess." She smiles a little. "Marrybell, or even Mary, will do the job."

"O-Okay, your… Marrybell…" Rivalz says, smiling embarrassed. "It's just that we never met a princess before."

"We did saw Princess Euphemia during the hotel incident." Milly says, remembering something. "But it was just for a second."

"I wanted to see Euphie, so that's why I came." Marrybell says, closing her eyes and smiling.

"Hey, are you alright? You are looking like you are about to pass out." Oldrin (why her of all people?) asks me.

"I…" Suddenly, I feel my stomach getting agitated. "Sorry, but I need to leave."

I run to the closest bathroom and, after closing the door, thrown up in the toilet, feeling my insides on fire as I do so. I am feeling really hot and cold sweat covers my whole body as I sit on the floor, near the toilet in case I need it again. Just looking at Oldrin makes me guilty of what I did and the many other probable crimes I committed in the past.

What in Hell was I before coming here? And who are those "Masters" I thought about in my memory and how many times did I served them? How many lives I have destroyed with my actions? And most importantly: how in Hell am I so young?

I am a hundred percent sure that it was Oldrin Zevon the girl in my memory, but she was around five or six, so how is she around her seventeens while I look the same as her? Unless I look really younger than I really am (the dream of every woman: looking twice her age), there is something really strange going on here.

But I am sure that I am not thirty years old, so how am I so young? The first memory happened recently, or it occurred many years ago as well? My head hurts from the effort and I need to put my insides out once more, feeling worse than before.

"Rai, are you there? Please open the door!" Milly sounds worried at the door. "Let we help you!"

No! They must never again get near me, not even by miles of distance! I am a living machine and I can't… can't…

**Ashford's Nursery**

"Where…?" I look at the ceiling of a strange place, my vision still blur.

"Oh thank God!" Milly has tears in her eyes and I see Rivalz, Shirley and the two newcomers, Oldrin and Marrybell, showing relief in their eyes. "You really worried us here."

"I… am sorry about that." I say, feeling a little dizzy. "I look at Milly's warm smile as she passes her hand in my forehead.

I look again at Oldrin and, seeing her green eyes again, so similar to the ones I saw before, I cry without control. Milly looks worried, but I ignore everyone else as I close my eyes and think about telling them what I did, even if it seems impossible. They need to be protected from me before it is too late.

But the words don't come out of my mouth and I just end up there, unable to protect them from myself and just wondering if one day I might hurt them in a way I will never be able to undo. They all leave after some time, but Milly stays there until she fall asleep at my side (I mean it: she is sleeping with me!), her face so close to mine that I can feel the heat from her breath.

**Camelot Headquarters**

"Hey, are you sure you are alright? Milly told me…" Suzaku looks at me, a little troubled.

"I am fine now, thanks." I say, harsher than I should. "Sorry, it's just that I have my mind full lately."

I didn't go to school today, all because of Milly's worries about me, but I can't just take a day off at work after just two weeks. I came here, but Lloyd is nowhere to be seen and Cecile went out with him, so there is no one to tell us what to do and we decided to study a little.

"Are you having any luck in finding your memories?" I wonder for some instants before answering.

"No… and that troubles me…" I say, lying to him.

"Don't worry; I am sure you will remember them." That's my fear, actually: what exactly will I remember.

"So boys, looks like we are going into a mountain trip in some days." Lloyd finally appears, followed by Cecile. "We are going to Narita."

"What's in Narita?" I ask, trying to remember where it is.

"According to some intel the Viceroy gathered, it is the hideout of the Japan Liberation Front, the biggest resistance group against Britannia in Area 11." Cecile says, way more serious than Lloyd. "We will join the Viceroy's forces and aid them in any way we can."

"Which means that we will be sitting in the side while the rest gets all the glory." Lloyd says, still smiling.

"Why do you say that?" Suzaku asks him.

"Well, mainly because the two soldiers we will be sending are an Eleven Warrant Officer and an unknown private." Lloyd says, sitting by his desk. "The Viceroy has a very big pride, so she doesn't like to use an Eleven to fight Elevens."

"I see…" Suzaku looks at the floor, a little bit sad.

That's exactly what he is trying to end by entering the Army, but it is such a heavy burden that he will crush below it, unless he receives help. I spent a good time in the last night thinking about what I should do as those memories rise and I came to a conclusion: I need to repent from my acts, whoever they are, so I will be doing it by helping Suzaku. This may not clean my sins away, but it is a start, at least.

"Suzaku…" I say, and he looks at me, curious. "I've got your back, whatever happens."

He doesn't understand at first, but he smiles after some seconds and we shake our hands, like we have come into an agreement. I may not know this man for long, but his dream may present me an opportunity to pay for my crimes, even if it is just to ease my own soul.

**Park**

I sigh as I look in the sunset, tired from the day I am having and all the things inside of my mind at the moment. I will have to end up getting near that Oldrin, since she will be with the Student Council for a while, but I don't have any idea how. Sure, my first reaction was extreme, but I can't stop the shaming feeling that comes at my stomach every time I am around her.

"You sure have a lot of problems." Mao appears and waves at me. "How are you doing?"

"You already know the answer, so why do you ask?" I say as he sits in the bench at my side.

"Politeness." He looks at the sky and smiles. "I may have found a hint on where C.C is."

"Good for…" I start to say.

"In your mind, remember?" He interrupts me.

("Fine…") I sigh and continue. ("Good for you then.")

"Thanks." He says, looking at me. "And I warned you about what you may find if you keep looking for your memories, didn't I?"

("Yeah… and I want to ask you something: do you know of something that I don't? About my memories?")

"No, but I can feel something really bad inside of your head, and that is why I warned you." Mao says, getting a little more serious. "I am sorry that I can't help you more."

("No worries.") I sigh and close my eyes for a little, trying to clear my mind and think of nothing.

"You know, I always find really fun how people meditate to clear their minds, but they never really achieve that." Mao says, joking a little.

("Shut up.") I say, but then a thought crosses my mind.

"I don't know how you won your Geass." Mao says, before I can ask him anything. "It must have been by a different way from how I got mine."

("So back to square one.") I think, feeling tired.

"Hey, why don't you buy us a pizza?" Mao says, all of a sudden.

("Why should I?") I look at him, like he is just stupid.

"Isn't it obvious?" He says and I get tired of this game.

("I can't read minds, so spill it out.")

"Because we are friends and friends enjoy pizza together." He says, simple as that.

**Shopping Mall**

"Here is your pizza." The waitress puts it in the desk in front of us.

"Thanks." I say, smiling a little to her. "I can't believe I am really buying you a pizza."

"You will be eating too, so stop complaining about it and enjoy." He picks up a piece of it and bites it, stretching the melted cheese.

("Fine.") I say, picking one by myself. ("You know, people may find strange if just you speak while we talk.")

"Let them find, I don't care." Mao says, finishing the first piece and getting a second one. "No one matters, anyway."

("Just C.C?") I ask, a little of cheese coming out of my mouth.

"That's right! Good to see you understand me so much already!" Mao claps his hands some times, in joy. "It's good to have friends, isn't it?"

**Narita Mountains**

We have our Knightmares ready for battle, but according to Lloyd, it is very unlike we will see any combat of any form. Suzaku is looking at a broken pocket watch ever since we arrived at the place, looking worried. I know that that watch is important to him, but he never told me the reason for it and I will wait if he does, one day.

"So, ready for action?" I ask him, trying to give a smile, but failing miserably.

"I don't know… attacking the JLF like that…" Suzaku sighs and put the watch in his pocket. "But I guess we will have more peace in Japan after that."

"Maybe." I say, sitting at his side. "But the Viceroy probably won't need our help at all, so we don't need to worry."

"True." Suzaku looks at the _Lancelot_ for some time before speaking again. "But what about you? How do you feel about fighting?"

"I…" I think of it for a time before answering. "I passed through all the simulations without a scratch, but this time it will be for real, so I guess I am a little nervous."

"It's okay: I've got your six." Suzaku smiles a little.

"Same here, partner." We join our hands together in a bro shake (yeah, I know what it is).

"Well, looks like everything is decided. "Lloyd announces to us. "The Viceroy will lead the assault while the Sub-Viceroy will be in charge of the medical troops."

"Wait, Princess Euphemia is here?" Suzaku looks surprised. "Why is she here?"

"Apparently, to learn more on how to lead troops. But she will stay on the G-1 Mobile Base and won't engage in real combat." He looks at us, smiling in his usual manner. "She was the one who asked to be here."

"Why would she do that?" I ask Lloyd, but it is Cecile who answers.

"Probably because she wanted to see a real battle." She says, sighing a little after that. "Alright boys, get in your Knightmares and be ready to move at any moment."

"Yes, my Lord!" We both say, as the Military code demands.

As I enter my Knightmare, I wonder if Marrybell has already seen Euphemia, the reason why she came to Area 11, but that I can't say, since I avoided her and Oldrin the most since the day I remembered what I did to her mother. I pick up the controllers of my modified _Sutherland_ and I get ready to be deployed at any second.

"Looks like the situation has changed, hum?" Lloyd speaks to Cecile while looking at a screen.

"Could it be that it was caused by a heat reaction?" Cecile asks him, nervous.

"Impossible, unless… they have Rakshata's Radiation Wave Device…" Lloyd says, looking at the screen with interest.

"What's wrong?" Suzaku asks, looking back at where they are.

"Nothing to do with us, so don't worry." Lloyd says, without taking his eyes from the screen. "Just stay at your unit until someone calls us."

Something is wrong, and Suzaku and I look at each other with the same feeling of unease in our faces. After some moments we start to hear reports from the battlefield coming from the communicators: General Alex disappeared and only 20% of our forces remain after a devastating landslide. I feel my mouth dry when I see those numbers, knowing that this was a very risky tactic, but very efficient, nonetheless.

"Lloyd, what is going on?" Suzaku asks him, worried.

"Apparently, the Black Knights are making a move here." He says, looking at Suzaku. "Congratulations, you guys may join the battle after all."

"Lloyd-san!" Suzaku says, disapproving.

"You need to learn how to be more discrete." Cecile says, angry.

"What have I done?" He asks, truly unaware of what he did wrong.

"Should I tell you?" She smiles to him, but I feel the danger coming from the smile.

"I'll pass." Lloyd says, looking at the screen once more. "Anyway, all we can do at the moment is to wait for the command to give us an order."

The situation is critical and it gets worst when we heard about the news of the Viceroy unit being corned by the JLF and her retreat. The Britannian forces are in disarray and our victory seems more and more impossible by the minute. After we lost the Purist Faction, who was giving rear support to the Viceroy, I know for certain that the Viceroy has no chance out there.

"Lloyd!" Suzaku suddenly yells. "Put us in contact with the Sub-Viceroy, now!"

"And what this will achieve?" He asks, curious.

"We'll ask her to deploy us to save the Viceroy before it is too late!" Suzaku says, looking angry. "Now, Lloyd!"

After some moments, Lloyd opens a channel and me and Suzaku (with Lloyd and Cecile appearing in the same screen as him) are now looking at the Sub-Viceroy, Princess Euphemia li Britannia. She has a long pink hair and purple eyes and looks quite beautiful, but very worried.

"Hello!" Lloyd says, with a good mood that doesn't fit the situation. "Here is _Camelot_ speaking."

"Your insolent scum!" One of the officers standing alongside the Princess say. "Stay right where you are! We don't need irregulars in this mess!"

"Yeah, but…" Cecile starts to say, but Lloyd interrupts her.

"That's what we are doing here: waiting for your orders to deploy the Warrant Officer Kururugi and Private Hodges in combat." This coments gets Euphemia by surprise.

"Sub-Viceroy Euphemia." Suzaku says, with a serious face. "Please, allow us to deploy."

While Lloyd and the officers discuss, I notice that Suzaku moves his mouth without making a sound, but the Princess seems to understand what was said, because her expression gets serious all of a sudden.

"I five you clearance to move." The Princess says, making Lloyd in joy.

"I will do my best, your Highness!" Suzaku says.

"Understood." I say, finally entering the conversation.

"And you are?" The Princess looks at me.

"Private Rai Hodges, your Highness." I say, serious. "Warrant Officer Kururugi's partner."

"I see… then help him in the field, Private." She gives me a kind smile.

"I know." I say, the screen shutting off.

After all the preparations, the _Lancelot_ and my _Sutherland_ are ready for deployment, even equipped with special sand pads for the terrain. Our mission: open our way to the Viceroy and rescue her in any possible way we can.

"Suzaku, can I ask you a question?" Lloyd says, just before we deploy.

"What's it?"

"You hate when people die, but you are a military. Why is that?"

"I am in the army to prevent more death." Suzaku says, serious, making me smile.

"This contradiction will get you killed… Sorry!" Cecile pulls Lloyd from the screen and we can't see him anymore.

"_Lancelot_, launch!" I hear Suzaku deploying, so I do the same with my _Sutherland_.

We move the fastest we can, trying to reach the Viceroy before it is too late, but we hear reports of her being attacked by the Black Knights. We are almost there, but an enormous wall of rock is in our way, so Suzaku grabs his V.A.R.I.S Rifle and starts to open a path on the rock, making the earth tremble with it. After some time, we clear our path and we reach the Viceroy's _Gloucester_, who has no arms and looks quite damaged.

"Viceroy, we are here to rescue you." Suzaku says to her.

"_Camelot_? But who authorized…" The Viceroy asks, confused.

"Suzaku, watch out!" I say, as I notice the four _Burais_ aiming at him and a red Knightmare like I never saw before.

Suzaku uses the _Blaze Luminous Shield_ to stop the bullets from the _Burais_ and shoots at the red Knightmare with the V.A.R.I.S Rifle, but the red one is faster than it looks. The _Burais _get ready to fire once more and the Viceroy goes to them.

"You two take care of the red one while I… what are you doing?" She asks me when I stop her from moving forward.

"Sorry to say this, your Highness, but your _Gloucester_ can't fight anymore, so just leave these four with me." I smile a little. "Is that fine with you, Suzaku?"

"Have fun." Suzaku says, with me feeling him confident.

"Wait, it is suicide to face four units alone!" The Viceroy says, a little scared.

"Sorry for the insolence, but you don't know me at all." I say, as I get my _MVS_ and get ready to fight.

The first two _Burais_ of the enemy step forward, firing at my with Assault Rifles, but I avoid all the bullets with my _Sutherland_. They must be thinking that this is a common one, but Lloyd added a few things to him, making him superior to a normal one (not like the _Lancelot_, of course). I cut one of them in the middle, being careful to just damage the frame, not killing the pilot. The next one is defeated as easily as the first: by cutting its head and making him eject.

I have killed people and spilled blood in the past, but no more of this! I won't kill a living person anymore, no matter what happens to me. I avoid the fire coming from the others, using some rocks as shield (Lloyd didn't put the _Blaze Luminous System _in my frame, God knows why), but I grab my own Assault Rifle and use its Sniper Mode to fire at the head of one of the enemies and defend myself with it in a hand-to-hand combat against the second one. I grab one of my _MVS_ and stab him in the leg, cutting it and sending the unit to the floor.

"How are you on your end, partner?" I ask, firing at Zero's _Burai_.

"I just sent the red Knightmare down the mountain. I am going to join the Viceroy and protect her while you grab Zero."

"Understood… shit!" I say, as some _Burais_ appear and start to shoot at me. "Zero is escaping!"

"Rai, take care of those guys attacking you while I go after Zero." Suzaku says to me.

"What? But the Viceroy…"

"Gave me these orders. Just go and trust me."

"Alright then." I say, moving to face my enemies.

There are just three of them, so I join my _MVS_ into a double lance and I jump to attack them, launching my two _Slash Harkens_ into one and destroying it. The second one I cut the arms off and the pilots activates the ejection system, while the third one tries to get me from behind, but I pass my lance through the middle of the suit's legs and make it go to the floor.

"I finished my part here. What about you?" I ask Suzaku.

"I just for Zero. I am watching him to make sure he won't escape."

So this is the end for the infamous Zero… it is strange to think that, after everything he caused to this place. Knowing Suzaku, he will bring Zero alive for a trial, even if the Army ends up killing him in secret. Before I can commemorate, I hear something the freezes my soul.

"AAAHHH!" Suzaku screams with all the strength in his lungs.

"Suzaku, what's wrong? Suzaku?" I ask, moving to his position. "Answer me, dammit!"

I get to where he is, avoiding a V.A.R.I.S bullet when I do it, because Suzaku is firing randomly with it, hitting the floor and many things around us. I get my _MVS_ and get it away from him, but he grabs his own and attack me with it, my reflexes saving me in the last second.

"Suzaku, it's me, Rai!" I say, defending myself from his blows. "Can you hear me?"

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" He screams, like in despair. "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Lloyd, is there any way to stop the _Lancelot _without destroying it in the process?" I ask, desperately trying to not get killed by my own partner.

"You will need to shoot the energy capsule, but the chances of doing it are almost inexistent!" He says, as desperate as I am. "You would need a precise shot at the energy cell!"

"Fine then." I say, taking my distance and getting my Sniper Rifle. "Here goes nothing."

I wait for the right moment, just before the swords cuts me in half, to take the shot. I see in slow motion as the bullet hits the _Lancelot_ body and passes through it, my breath stopped as I pray that it doesn't explode. Thanks to God or any other force, the white Knightmare just goes to the floor, completely deprived of energy.

"I… I… I did it!" I say, feeling like I just lost some years of life. "Thank God…"

* * *

Even the Princess came to see Suzaku's state after that mental breakdown he suffered while facing Zero. He is a lot more calm now, but I am feeling that he is hiding something here, a dark secret, just like me. This makes me feel closer to him, but also makes me question: what is it and what did Zero do to…

Could it be that he has a Geass or something like that? After seeing Mao, I have no doubt that we aren't the only ones out there in the world, so it is possible for him to have one. However, I still don't know how a person can get one and how Zero could do it, but it doesn't matter for now.

Suzaku will be fine and I managed to not kill anyone, so I will call it a victory, even if no one else will. And I must say that, for my first fight in the field, I did pretty well, I think. But Zero won't stop until someone brings him down, and after what he did to Suzaku, I will be happy to do it.

The real war is about to start.

* * *

_**So the Battle of Narita happens and we get another piece of Rai's past, which is nice, except that his past is very dark. Who do you think Rai is and what does those memories mean? Review it and let me know what do you all think.**_


	7. Chapter 7

**7: The Sorrow**

**Narita Mountains**

I pass water in my hair during my break from looking for survivors of the landslide Zero caused, but things haven't been good so far. It was yesterday that we were fighting him, so there is still a great amount of ground to look for, but we have already uncovered a lot of bodies, but just a fraction of the total amount, I fear.

"Taking a break as well?" Suzaku appears and sits beside me, drinking water as well. "Lots of work still to do here, right?"

"Tell me about it." I say, looking at some soldiers carrying some bodies. "So many dead on our side while the Black Knights barely lost anyone."

"Yeah…" Suzaku passes water in his head as well. "He is a monster."

"But you have to admit: it was a brilliant tactic." Suzaku looks angry at me. "Hey, it's true, even if we don't like it."

"I know, but… I hate this." Suzaku closes his eyes and look at the cloth of the barrack we are under. "Truly hate this."

"We are two." I say, finishing my water and launching the bottle in a trash nearby.

"Does any of you know where I can find Private Rai Hodges?" A soldier appears and asks them.

"It's me." I get up, looking at him with a serious expression. "What is it about?"

"The Viceroy and the Sub-Viceroy are waiting for you at the command tent." The soldier says, leaving before I can inquire him any further.

"What do you think this is about?" Suzaku asks me.

"I have no idea." After some time, a terrible thought crosses my mind. "What if they found out about… my bloodline?"

"How could they?" Suzaku gets a little tense. "I am sure that it is nothing."

I move to the commanding tent, feeling a weight in my chest like never before in my short life in Japan. I don't fear them finding out about my bloodline as much as I fear they finding out about the murders. I can't even imagine the face of everyone at school in case they find out.

I arrive in front of the tent, shaking a little from the expectation of what is about to happen, but I get my courage up and I enter the tent. I find the Viceroy sitting in a desk with her sister, Princess Euphemia, who gives me a kind smile. In the table, a tea set is mounted with three cups filled with tea and an open seat.

"Oh, thanks for coming." The Viceroy says, smiling a little (it's not like I have any choice in the matter). "Please, have a seat."

"Why was I called here?" I ask, sitting, still tense.

"Well, it came to my knowledge that it was you the one who helped to protect me yesterday, with your _Sutherland_ yesterday." The Viceroy says, making a signal and someone puts tea on the cups.

"Y-Yeah… it was me." I just look at the tea intended for me, too nervous to even drink it.

"Well, I would like to thank you for stopping me from doing something really stupid." The Viceroy looks at my eyes, not with suspect or anger. "It was really impressive what you did."

"Well, Suzaku also helped me, by stopping that red Knightmare from getting me." I say, getting a little red.

"Oh, but we are not talking about Kururugi here, but of you." She gets a tablet and passes her finger on it for a while. "I've read that you have joined the Army just two weeks ago."

"Oh, yeah… that's right." I say, getting nervous.

"And you are already able to pilot one with such skill." Princess Euphemia says, smiling. "That's really impressive, Rai."

"A performance akin of a genius." The Viceroy says, looking directly at me. "And that's the reason I am talking with you now."

"What do you mean by that?" I ask, as she gets a small briefcase from below the desk.

"As you are fully aware, a Private doesn't have any insignia." She opens the briefcase and I see two shiny military insignias inside. "Do you recognize those?"

"Yes." I say, looking at them for some seconds before going on. "The one in the left is from a Chief Warrant Officer, 5º Class, and the other is from a Second Lieutenant."

"You are right." The Viceroy grabs the Second Lieutenant's insignia and she fives it to me. "Congratulations, Second Lieutenant Hodges."

I look at the insignia in shock before picking it up and staring at it for a long time. This proves that no one has discovered that I am a half-blooded and a killer, but I was certainly not expecting this. It must be some kind of record: becoming a Second Lieutenant barely two weeks after entering the Army.

"And the other one?" I say, looking at the insignia still in the case.

"It's from Kururugi." She says, not so pleased. "He… deserves it, after all."

It's very unfair that I become a Lieutenant while Suzaku, who had a higher rank than me, bow is below me. But this is what Britannia is, after all: Numbers have no place among them, even those who have become Honorary Britannians.

"I… am sure he will be pleased." I say, noticing her smile of satisfaction, because I understood.

"But that isn't all there is." She says, looking more serious. "I also have a proposition for you."

"What kind of proposition?" I ask, expecting for a trap.

"I want you to be part of my Royal Guard." She says, giving me another smile, more filler with heat. "I always want talented people around and I have never seen someone as talented as you."

I was not expecting that as well, but I guess that I should have after all, since every member of the Royal Family has a Royal Guard filled with the best they can find. I bet that she lost a lot of people in the battle yesterday, so she must be looking for replacements and I have caught her eye, by the looks of it.

The question here is: will I join the Royal Guard? Probably it is something that gives a great deal of honor for those who accept the role, but it does not attract me. Besides, I fear what may happens if I stay around them for too long, of what they might discover about me.

"Sorry, but I will have to refuse." I say, trying to be serious.

"And can I know the reason?" She asks me, looking surprised.

"It's just… I've just entered the army and I don't think that I can handle the responsibility of protecting a Viceroy and a Princess." I say, looking right at her eyes. "Maybe after I get used to the military life a little more, I will be able to accept."

"Is that so…" She looks away, looking a little disappointed.

"And besides…" I say, looking at her again. "Other people may not like that you chose me, a rookie, instead of a more veteran soldier."

"I see your point here." She sighs and get up. "Well, if you ever rethink that decision or need something, just come and talk to me."

"Actually…" I say, remembering something.

* * *

"There's no way you did that!" Suzaku says, looking at me, surprised. "No way!"

"Well, but I did and she said yes." I say, looking at how he looks at his new insignia. "Sorry about it."

"About what?" He says, looking genuinely oblivious.

"You are in the Army longer than me, but I am already a Lieutenant while you…" He interrupts me before I can keep going.

"Rai, I don't exactly care too much about that." He says, giving me a kind smile. "Besides, considering you said you will be helping me to achieve my dream, it is good that you get higher in the ranking."

"Yeah, but even so…" Before I can talk more, Lloyd appears, jumping from happiness, and gives me a hug so strong that lifts me in the air. "Lloyd!"

"I just love you!" Lloyd says, spinning me around (I never knew he was so strong!). "I have no idea what kind of pact you did and I don't care either! All that matters is that you managed to get the budget to mount your Knightmare!"

And that's what I asked for Cornelia: enough budgets to build the Knightmare Lloyd developed for me. I had to say that, by having a better frame, I could be more efficient in the battlefield. She agreed after some time, with the condition that I would show her after it is finished.

"That was… nothing." I say, getting dizzy from the spinning.

"I just contacted the lab and told them to get all the pieces ASAP." Lloyd looks like a child in Christmas. "In just a few days, we will have your _Lancelot Club_ moving!"

"_Lancelot Club_?" Suzaku asks, curious.

"The _Club_ will be a new version of the _Lancelot_, but with different weapons and gadgets." Lloyd is about to dance from joy. "I can wait to see it ready!"

I just keep looking at Lloyd while my dizziness pass, when Suzaku taps my shoulder and point to three people walking to the place where the bodies are being kept. The first one is a black skinned woman from the Army (I have seen her around many times already), an older woman with orange hair and… Shirley!

"What is she doing here?" I ask, noticing that they entered the tent of the corpses.

"Could it be that…?" Suzaku looks at me, looking a little scared.

**Tokyo Settlement**

Everyone is here at the graveyard, watching as the priest says his words for the deceased, Shirley's father, who died because of the landslide caused by Zero in Narita. My feeling of sadness for Shirley is only matched by the anger that, even being there when it happened, I couldn't even save the father of a friend.

When they started to put earth to cover the coffin, Shirley's mother goes to the ground and starts crying, saying to not make his husband suffer anymore. Shirley goes down to comfort her in some way, but she is barely able to hold her own tears. After some time, some people go with her mother and she comes to us, the Student Council.

"Shirley… I am so sorry…" Kallen says, looking down.

"Why are you saying this? It wasn't your fault." Shirley says, making Kallen look away and ticking my instincts a little.

"I-I am sorry too." Rivalz says, looking bad. "You know… I was saying that the Black Knights are cool and everything, but I guess I was wrong…"

"Don't worry about it." Shirley gets near Rivalz and puts a hand in his shoulder. "I was thinking that as…"

"Shirley, stop!" Milly says, grabbing her shoulders. "I am worried about you. Have you already cried since…? It isn't good to just keep it inside of you."

"I've… cried enough." She says, looking away from Milly.

"They are the worst!" Suzaku says, his hands forming fists. "Zero and his "heroes of justice" are the worst kind of criminals! They just think about the results and not about what damage the means may cause!"

"Well… let's just go then." Milly says, trying to stop Suzaku from talking. "Shirley, we will be waiting for you in the room of the Council, when you are ready to go."

Shirley gives her a very faint smile and we all start to go away, except from Lelouch, who stays with Shirley. What calls my attention is Kallen looking back at Shirley, looking guilty of something, and Suzaku's angry face. Suzaku worries me because the nervous breakdown he had after the battle two days ago, but Kallen is hiding something.

Ever since we met, I felt she had a secret, but I decided to ignore, since I had no business prying into her private life. However, now I think that I've solved the mystery of what she is hiding, but I feel that the consequences of telling it may be too great.

I get to the park and I sit in my usual spot when the rain starts, getting me wet, but I don't move from where I am for some time. I am lucky that Oldrin wasn't there (she and Marrybell are hiding as students at the school while in Area 11, at least until they can reveal themselves to the public, and they are becoming really good friends with everyone in the council), since I wouldn't be able to stay there.

Looking at Shirley, I wonder how many children I made suffer the same way before, but I just can't imagine. I sigh and I look at the sky, feeling the water hitting my face and the cold spreading through my body. I wonder how people can sleep at night after doing such a terrible thing.

"You will get a cold if you stay here for too long." Mao appears, holding an umbrella. "Let's get to someplace drier, okay?"

**Shopping Mall**

"Here is your pizza." The waitress says, smiling at us.

"I am the one thanking you, my dear." Mao smiles to her as she leaves. "So, want to discuss what is in your head today?"

"I don't know…" I say, looking at the cheese on the pizza and the sausage rolls around it. "There is too much on it right now."

"Well, considering I can see it, why don't spit it out? It won't hurt." Mao says, picking up a piece for him.

I sigh and pick a piece for myself (Mao is paying this time), but I don't speak anything, mainly because I don't need to. Mao sees inside my head for a time, looking far more serious than he normally is and he starts to talk, whispering.

"So, you think your friend, Kallen, is with the Black Knights? And you also are wondering how much blood is in your hands…" Mao thinks for a time before picking up another piece. "I don't know what to say."

"At least you are honest." I say, looking at the glass of water I asked for. "I don't have any idea either."

"Well… you could ask your friend, in private, if she is a Black Knight." Mao says, after thinking for a while. "You can see how she reacts and probably find out the truth of it."

"And what if she is a Black Knight?" I ask him, getting impatient.

"Then… I have no idea what you should do." He says, finishing his second piece. "As for your memories, I can only say to be careful with what you remember."

I sigh and look at the pizza once more, trying to figure out what I will do if Kallen is indeed a Black Knight. She must be feeling bad because of what happened to Shirley's father, but I don't know anymore, if she is a member. Before I can say anything else, my cell phone rings and I see that it is Suzaku on the other side.

"Suzaku?" I ask him, wondering why he is calling.

"Lloyd asked me to call for you. We are needed at the lab." His voice sounds strange.

"Are you okay?" I ask, worried.

"Yeah, don't worry about me." He says, looking tired. "Anyway, just come here, okay?"

"You should talk with him about that nervous breakdown he suffered." Mao says to me, as I get up. "It will be the best you can do to help him."

"Thanks for the pizza." I say, getting out of the restaurant, feeling Mao following me with his mind.

**Camelot Headquarters**

I arrive at the headquarters and I notice something new here: something that looks like a Knightmare covered by a big piece of cloth. I wonder what it is when Suzaku and Cecile come at me, followed by a happy Lloyd.

"I made everyone work all the night and someone will have to take a leave from work, but we did it." He looks at me with expectation in his eyes. "Rai, this is your _Lancelot Club_."

After the cloth is taken away, I see my personal Knightmare frame: the _Lancelot Club_. Its design is the same as the _Lancelot_, but with a blue color scheme instead of the golden, some parts in red and something similar to a horn in its head. I touch it for some time, feeling something akin from happiness.

Since I woke up in Ashford, without any recollection of who I was, I never felt that something really belonged to me, but now I think I am. Looking at the Knightmare in front of me, I realize that this will be my stallion in battle, in a manner of speaking. I pass my hand in it once more before stepping back and looking at it again.

"You guys really assembled it in one day?" I look at Lloyd and Cecile, unable to believe.

"The planning was ready; all we needed was the money to mount it… and a lot of coffee." Cecile says, smiling. "Did you like it?"

"Yeah..." I say, giving the frame a smile. "The _Lancelot Club_…"

"And you will use it for the first time today." Lloyd says, surprising me.

"What do you mean, exactly?" I ask him.

**Port Yokosuka**

"Normally, the Viceroy doesn't like to employ Numbers, but you have proved yourself in battle." General Darlton says, looking at Suzaku. "In my opinion, we should use anyone who has proved his worth, Number or Britannian."

"Yes, sir!" Suzaku says to him.

"Our target is Katase, the supreme leader of the Japan Liberation Front. While the Navy goes and grabs him alive, you two will give them support on land. After Katase is secured, we will exterminate the survivors." That last part surprises Suzaku and me.

"Exterminate them?" Suzaku asks, his voice failing.

"No one besides the target must survive." Suzaku looks down. "Remember, this is a chance to show your valor to Britannia and get yourself a promotion, Suzaku Kururugi."

After he leaves, Suzaku keeps staring at the floor for some time, totally beaten. These orders go against every believe he has and now he must follow them, even against what he believes. I noticed that Suzaku is an example of soldier: he always follows his orders, even if he disagrees with them.

"Is this a fumie?" Lloyd appears and looks at Suzaku. "What are you going to do?"

Suzaku holds his Knightmare's key stronger in his hand, but he doesn't answer the question. I can only imagine what it is inside of his mind right now, but I say nothing, because I don't know what to say. These orders are something that I can't agree myself, so what am I supposed to do?

* * *

We are standing alongside the water in the port, all the _Sutherlands_ wielding Assault Rifles, including my _Club _and Suzaku's_ Lancelot_. I can't believe that I will use my frame for the first time to commit a killing spree, but I am still unsure if I should have agreed with all of this. I am starting to doubt Suzaku's resolution of creating a better world from the inside of the evil, but I can't just leave him yet.

The Viceroy orders the starts of the operation and the _Portmen_, a Knightmare created for aquatic operations, dives and starts to move. Suzaku and I go to our positions and we aim at the deck of the tanker where the remains of the JLF are. The orders are to be careful when firing, since the tanker is filled with liquid Sakuradite, a very explosive substance.

"This… isn't a fight anymore…" Suzaku says, refusing to fire a single bullet, just like me.

"Chief Warrant Officer Kururugi." Cecile says over the communicator. "Remember that you are a soldier… even if you don't agree with your orders."

"Here is the Japan Liberation Front!" Someone says using the open channel. "We are surrendering!"

"Major, they say that they are…" I speak on my headset with our squad leader, but he cuts me.

"Just ignore it." He says, shocking me. "It's just a tactic to win time, see?"

The tanker starts to move, trying to get away from the port and enter open water, but they never reach the sea. An enormous explosion happens in the ship, making the sky glow with a pink light and sending a huge pillar of light. Me and Suzaku activate our _Blaze Luminous Shields_ to avoid being hit by the debris of the ship, but the _Sutherlands_ around us aren't so lucky and they are either sent away by the wind of the blast or by the debris.

"What's going on?" Suzaku asks me, looking shocked.

"They… must have exploded the Sakuradite… in order to defeat Britannia…"

We start to hear reports of something attacking the soldiers of the Army and we hear that a lot of our men are missing because of the chaos of the explosion. Could it be true that General Katase killed himself and the JLF to hit Britannia? I think of that until we see an explosion in the place where the Viceroy was stationed.

"Are we under attack?" Suzaku asks, activating his Facthspheres and looking at the place.

"The tanker must have been a bait to weaken us." I say, getting a bad feeling. "Suzaku, follow me!"

"Yes sir!" he says, coming after me while we move.

"And another order from a superior officer: never call me sir again." I say, a small smile appearing in my face.

"Yes, your Highness." He says, joking.

"Just shut up!" I say, slaying an enemy _Burai_ (without killing the pilot) and moving ahead to the place where the Viceroy is.

Suzaku jumps and hits Zero's _Burai_ right in its head, seconds before he fires against the Viceroy's _Gloucester_, who is tied up by the red Knightmare. Zero flies away and hit the floor strongly. The red Knightmare tries to aid him, but me and the Viceroy get in his way.

"Zero! Your methods just create more and more pain! Can't you see that?" Suzaku says, while hitting Zero with all his might.

"Looks like I am not a lady in peril, Lieutenant Hodges." The Viceroy says.

"I never imagined you as one, your Highness." I say, ready to face the red Knightmare when my sensors warn me of something.

"Hodges, behind you!" The Viceroy says, right before I turn around and something hits my shield.

I see a blue Knightmare, one I never saw before in my life. He doesn't follow the Britannian model and his head has just a circular yellow thing instead of the eyes. Its left arm is very different from the right one: gray and ending up with a red head composed of three fingers.

"What is that thing?" I ask, right before it swing around a sword similar to a saw in my direction, but I use my shield again to defend myself. "Suzaku, watch out!"

Right at that moment, the red Knightmare jumps and engage Suzaku in combat, but the blue one stops me from going to help him. I grab my _MVS_ and use the right one to attack him, but the enemy defends himself with his own sword, stopping the blow. We go against each other for some time, his speed equaling my own, making me wonder who is the pilot.

"Hodges, I will…" The Viceroy says, but I cut her.

"You go and help your men!" I say to her, trying to avoid being killed. "You need to lead them before they are wiped out! I and Suzaku will handle these two."

She goes to her men, but I know she doesn't like to be protected like that, but her safety is a little more important than my own, at the moment. I launch my right _Slash Harken_ at the enemy, but he activates something in his left arm and a red shield of energy appears from its palm, destroying my _Harken_.

"That's… the same thing as the red one…" I say, moving away from it.

I form my double lance and use its reach to stay away from that arm, just in case he tries to get too close. I know what that thing can do to a Knightmare, so I bet it won't five me just a tan (and even if I survive, I might get cancer). We are pretty much stuck against each other, since we have skills in the same level.

After some time, another _Gloucester_ appears and hits the enemy with it lance, but the enemy is able to avoid it, barely. I use that distraction to go and cut its dawn arm and send it away from him.

"Thanks, Lord Guilford." I say, as the enemy goes away.

"Princess Cornelia sent me after you, because she was worried." His tone suggest a bit of happiness.

"I will give it pursuit while you go and keep helping her. Without that arm, he loses a great power."

"Agreed." He says, moving back to Cornelia and allowing me to follow the enemy.

I follow his trail for some time when I find something that makes me stop: _Burai_'s escape pods with some Black Knights around them. Looks like one of them is stuck below the pod, unable to move, and his comrades are trying to save him. When they see me, they refuse to abandon the fallen one, so they start to shoot at me with rifles, doing no damage at all.

I can just kill them as easily as I could take a candy for a child, but I won't do that, never. I move forward and, with them still firing at me, I grab the pod and raise it, allowing the man under it to get out.

"You get out of here before someone sees you all." I say, as they get they friend from there. "Hurry!"

They get away from here, and I lost my chance to grab the fleeing enemy, but I don't care. I won't let someone die just because someone tells me to do so. The sounds in the night get down and the battle ends, so it is time to get back home.

**Park**

It's been just some hours after the battle, but I am already at the park, waiting for someone. Lloyd told us that he would fix the Knightmares in no time, but I am not worried about it, but with what is about to happen.

"Rai!" Kallen appears, running. "I got your message and came running!"

"That I can see." I say, looking at her.

"What's wrong? You said that you needed to talk with me right now, so I canceled some plans I…"

"Sorry to keep you away from the Black Knights, Kallen." I say, making her surprised.

"What are you…" She starts to say, like I am crazy, but I stop her again.

"Kallen, I know you are a member of the Black Knights." I say while looking at her eyes. "So stop the act and don't insult my intelligence, okay?"

"Rai, I think your tone is…"

"Kallen, look at my eyes and tell me that you isn't a Black Knight, if you aren't." I say, getting closer to her and looking at her eyes.

"I…" She says, but I can see the truth in her eyes. "I am not a Black Knight!"

"Then you leave me no choice." I give her my back and start to walk away. "As a military, I will have to report you for these suspicions."

"What?" She says, while I feel her gaze in my back. "What do you mean a military?"

"Didn't you know? I joined the Army two weeks ago." I look at her shocked face. "I am already a Second Lieutenant, actually."

As I continue moving forward, I sense something coming from my back, so I turn around fast and grab the arm holding the knife, which is disguised in a pink purse. While grabbing the arm, I spin her body around and send her to the floor, making a loud noise when she hits it.

"Let me go!" She says, as I immobilize her.

"So, you are really helping Zero…" I say, feeling like I was betrayed.

"Yes, I am!" She says, tears coming down her face. "And I thought you could help us!"

"Help you?" I can believe in what she is saying. "Killing innocent people is something that needs my help?"

"And what about what the Army does? Isn't it a crime as well?" She says, touching a sore spot.

"I am trying to change it!" I say, getting anger.

"Yeah? How are you going to do it?"

At first, I believed that I could help Suzaku to change the world, but Kallen is right in one thing: I have no idea on how to change things. Sure, Suzaku says a lot, but he probably doesn't have any idea on how things can be changed as well. I let Kallen go, but I keep her knife, just to be sure.

"Let's talk a little, okay?" I say, pointing to the bench.

"So, what do you want to say?" She says, looking with anger at me.

"I will try to make you get out of the Black Knights." I say, looking at her with serious eyes.

"Not going to happen." She says, getting aggressive. "The Black Knights are a force for good, different from what the Army does!"

"And how do you face Shirley?" I say, in the coldest way I can.

"I…" She looks away from me.

"Yeah, I thought that much." I say looking at her. "Kallen, I won't tell anyone about this, but there is a condition."

"What?" She looks at me with angry eyes.

"Pretend a little better that you have nothing to do with them." I say, getting up. "If I managed to figure it out, then a lot of people can, if they look carefully."

"Understood." She says, also getting up. "There's also something."

"Yes?" I look at her.

"If you are in the Army, it will mean that you may sell your soul to the devil." She says, looking directly into my eyes.

"That's my problem, Kallen." I say, harsher than I pretended.

"Fine then." She leaves the place, not looking back.

**Ashford Academy**

I get back at school when is already pretty late, so I decide to not go back to my room and just go to the rooftop to watch the stars a little. Getting there, I see that someone is already here: Oldrin Zevon.

"Sorry." I say, when she notices me. "I will leave you alone."

"No, you don't need to." She says, quickly. "I would appreciate the company, actually."

"Is that so…?" I say, losing any excuse to just leave.

In an attempt to avoid her, as poor as it may be, I lay on the floor, looking at the stars and trying to ignore her in the best way I can. It gets substantially more difficult when she decides to lay down right next to me.

"The sky is pretty beautiful, isn't it?" She says, a little too close for my comfort.

"Yes, it is…" I say, trying to not look at her.

"Why do you do all of this?" She asks, looking annoyed.

"What do you mean?" I finally look at her green eyes (I never noticed how beautiful they are).

"You've been avoiding me ever since we arrived." She says, looking right at my blue eyes. "I want you to tell me why."

"I…" I can't take my eyes from her's, like I am drawn to them. "It's just an impression."

"Really? And then why this is the first time since we met each other that you keep staring at my eyes?"

"I…" I look at the sky once more before answering. "You… remind me of someone."

"Who?" She sounds curious.

"Would you believe… that I don't know?" I say, trying to get elusive.

"No." She says, getting suspicious. "How could you don't know?"

"Well… I lost my memory some time ago, so I don't remember almost anything from my life before when I entered Ashford."

"Oh…" She looks embarrassed. "I am sorry."

"It's okay." I say, looking back at her eyes. "So that's the reason."

"Well… if you need help, I can try to aid you." She says, smiling a little.

The feeling of guilty at my chest keep me from trying to approach her any further, but it isn't as strong as it was before, reaching a manageable level. I am still uneasy around her, but at least I managed to hold a conversation without running away.

It's a very good beginning.


	8. Chapter 8

8: The Treason

**Park**

It's pretty early in the morning, but I woke up and had nothing to do, so I decided to walk around a little and I end up at the park while the sun is coming down. It is a pretty beautiful view from where I am standing, but I notice that someone else is witnessing it: Mao.

"Hello, Rai. I see you have talked with Kallen about her little secret." Mao claps his hands in joy. "And you are able to be around that Oldrin girl as well! I am impressive."

("Thanks.") I think, sitting at his side. ("You look pretty happy today.")

"I just found a way to get to that bad guy, the one who is keeping C.C away from me, remember?" He says, looking happy at me. "I will be with her in a matter of hours!"

("That's good to hear, Mao.") I am truly happy for him.

"Thanks." He says, clapping his hands more. "And I would like to thank you for something else."

("What is it?") I ask, looking curious at his eyes.

"For not question me on how I got my Geass. I know it crossed your mind, so I am glad that you are waiting for me to tell."

("No problem.") I think, giving a smile to him.

Mao is the friend that I can discuss anything without keeping up, mainly because he can read my mind, so I have no choice on keeping secrets from him. And it is also strange to think of him as a friend, because we met not so long ago, but I feel that friend is a word I can use to describe him.

"But you should really talk with Suzaku about what happened to him." He says, getting up. "Well, I am going now: need to get ready for the day ahead of me."

("Alright then, good luck.") I offer my hand and we shake hands before departing in our separate ways.

**Ashford Academy**

When I arrive near the clubhouse to get my things, I see Lelouch there, hiding behind some brushes. Before I can ask him anything, I see Marrybell and Oldrin coming out of the building, dressed as civilians. They greet me when they see me, moving in my direction.

"Oh, hello Rai." Marrybell says, full of energy.

"Hi Rai." Oldrin waves her right hand at me while smiling and closing her eyes.

"Hello girls." Okay, I didn't run like a chicken, that's a start. "Where are you going today?"

"We are solving the last problems we have been having, so this may be our last day here." Marrybell says, a little sad. "Then I will have to stay at some official residence or something."

"And what about you?" Oldrin asks me, looking at me with those beautiful green eyes.

"Me? Probably will go to the Student Council room and then to work, just like always." I say smiling, especially at Oldrin, the subject of my guilty.

"That's good to hear. Now if you excuse us." They go away, leaving just me and the hidden boy.

"Alright brush boy, they are gone." Lelouch gets out of the brushes, getting branches out of his clothes. "Why are you hiding from them?"

"I… have my reasons." Lelouch says, taking some leaves from his hair. "Changing the subject, have you seen Shirley since the funeral?"

"Shirley? No, why?" I ask, noticing that he gets nervous.

"Nothing at all, it's just… that I need to talk with her." He sighs and looks at me, giving me a kind smile. "Thanks, anyway."

"You are welcome." I say, as he goes back to the clubhouse, leaving me wondering why he is hiding from those two girls.

Now that I think about it, Lelouch never stay in the same room that the two other girls, but I never seriously thought about it until now. Apparently, Lelouch has no reason to fear them, unless they know him and he doesn't want them to recognize him. But how could Lelouch have met a noble and a Princess before in his life?

Why do I have the feeling that I and Kallen aren't the only ones hiding something from everyone?

**Student Council Room**

The Lelouch thing kept getting around my mind all day, even during classes and other stuff. Now that I think about it, Lelouch seems to lose classes quite a lot, an abnormal rate for a normal student, even one as laid back as him. I just can't take it out of my mind all of this, so I wonder I will have a talk with…

"Hello Rai." Suzaku greets me when I enter the room, but his clothes… "What do you think? Do I look good?"

"Suzaku, what the fuck…" I say, in shock.

"Oh, Rai, you came." Milly appears, wearing clothes… seriously, what is going on? "Go to the dressing room and put those."

"What? Why? When? How?" I almost yell that last part. "Why is Suzaku dressed like a girl?!"

Suzaku is wearing a cheerleader costume, but since he has no breast and his body is monstrously muscular, the effect is very scary to see. He also has two yellow ribbons in his hair, in an attempt to look more feminine, failing considerably.

Milly is a more normal one, but she is also wearing a costume. He is a nurse, wearing a set in pink and even carrying one of those boards that real nurses carry around. The nice part is that her breasts look even bigger than the normal.

"What is going on here?" I ask, trying to restart my brain after it has gone into a blue screen.

"Well, this is a celebration!" Milly says, really happy.

"Celebration of what?" I ask, wondering what kind of thing is celebrated that way. "Has someone we know got out of the closet?"

"No, silly." Milly puts her index finger in my nose. "Marrybell will announce that she will be staying in Area 11 for a time and Oldrin will become a student here at Ashford during this time! Isn't it wonderful?" She asks, looking in joy.

"Milly, it is great, but why in Hell is everyone using women's clothes?" I ask, looking at Suzaku, feeling like my own masculinity is being raised.

"So you don't think I am cute?" Suzaku says, pretending he is a girl, but the effect it has is just bizarre.

"Dude, stop." I say, not sure if I should call him dude after all. "Seriously."

"It's not that bad." Suzaku says, smiling.

"Suzaku, the first thing I thought when I entered this room was: kill it before it lay eggs!" I say, exasperated. "With fire!"

"Now, just go on and put yours. The girls are almost ready." Milly says, pushing me into another room.

"Milly, there's no way in the nine Hells I will use this thing!"

* * *

"Kill. Me. Now!" I say, my eyes covered by my hair.

"Oh… Rai, you are making me lose my confidence as a woman." Milly says, making me look at her with my eyes without life.

I am… I am… I don't believe I am really going to say this, but I am… I don't want to say it! This thing is draining my masculinity away and I am just waiting for my balls to drop off on their own after finding me unworthy of having them.

Okay, here we goes… I am wearing a blue Chinese like dress with hair appliques to make me look like a real Chinese woman. A dark cloud surrounds my head as I look myself in the mirror, wary that I will never be clean from this one. And there is a little extra that Milly made: fake breasts!

"I would totally go out with a girl like you." Suzaku says, crossing his arms and making his fluffy things (I have no idea what those things that cheerleaders carry are) wave.

"Suzaku, could you try harder to convince me you are not playing on the other side of the fence?" I say, aware that I don't look like I am straight as well.

At that moment, a door opens and Oldrin and Kallen enter the room, each with a different costume: Kallen is wearing a pink sexy bunny outfit, making her flush like an apple. Oldrin is… I can't even describe how good she looks as a bride, so I will leave you to your imagination.

"So, let's get this celebration started!" Milly says, happy.

"Wait just a second here!" I say, before anyone can say anything. "Where is the rest of the men? I don't want to make my… tiny little friend suffer alone!"

"Rivalz had an emergency at his job and no one can find Lelouch anywhere. I guess it is just you and Suzaku." Milly says, giving me her shoulders. "Now, let's party!"

"Yes!" Suzaku says, the only one besides Milly to be happy (Oldrin is a little too).

"How did I end up here?" I ask, feeling defeated.

High tech assassin to cross-dressing… looks like I have had a tumultuous life so far. I sit by a chair, too depressed to just enjoy this "party" of Milly. After some time, Kallen sits by my side, trying by all means to hide her body, unsuccessful.

"Another one of President's ideas…" She says, trying to start a conversation.

"Stop." I say, not looking at her.

"What?" She looks at me, confused.

"Kallen, if you aren't comfortable talking with me, then you should really not do it, especially if you plan to hide it from everyone else." I say, looking at her eyes in a cold way. "Stop pretending that you are my friend when you hate me."

"I…" She gets up, not looking at me. "I don't hate you."

She goes on and starts a conversation with Milly, since she has not many options here: Nina and Shirley are not here, and so does Lelouch and Rivalz, reducing drastically the number of people available for a conversation. After a while, Oldrin sits at my side, making my heart speed up and my throat dry.

"I bet this isn't your best day." She says, looking at the others.

"No, it isn't." I give her a small smile, trying to get enough courage to say something else. "So, you will be a regular student?"

"For a while, yes. At least until Marrybell is satisfied with one of the reasons we came here."

"Which is?" I ask her, trying to talk the less possible, so she doesn't notice my voice trembling.

"Marrybell received clearance to start a special counterterrorism unit, sponsored by the Army." Oldrin says, looking at me with a little bit of excitement. "With all those terrorist acts along the Empire, we need to take action, so Marrybell will lead a unit to defend the Empire against terrorists."

I can find a little flaw in that plan, but I decide to not talk it to her, because she seems to trust Marrybell on this one. Mostly, what Britannia calls terrorism are separatist groups who aim for the freedom of their own countries from Britannia, after being turned into Areas. That's what the Black Knights are, so they are the terrorists in the eyes of Britannia, while they are the heroes in the eyes of the Japanese people.

It is sad truth, but the winners are the ones who get too choose how history will be written, while the losers get to be labeled as whatever the winner wants. It is unfair, but is the truth that reigns in this world, no matter how people may argue about it.

"What are you looking at?" I ask, noticing that she has been looking at my chest for some time.

"Those are fake, right?" She points to my "breasts", so I bow to her. "Well, I always wanted to do this."

"What are you…" Before I know of it, she goes ahead and grabs them strongly. "Stop it!"

"Come on, they are fake!" She says, laughing as she does it. "This feeling is really… unique."

"Is that really good?" I ask, red and hot.

"Yep." She says, smiling.

"Then let me grab yours." I say, joking.

"B-B-But mine are real…" She says, getting really red. "Okay… but not so strong…"

"What?!" I say, getting even hotter.

"W-Well, you asked, so…" She looks away, making I notice how cute she is.

"I… was kidding…" I say, staring at her.

"Oh…" She says, giving me her back, terribly embarrassed. "I…"

"So, you… would let me?" I ask, smiling a little.

"Shut up!" She says, annoyed.

**Camelot Headquarters**

"Never again." I say, getting out of the dressing room.

"It wasn't that bad." Suzaku says, amused.

"Never again." I say, looking at him. "I mean it. Never!"

"Alright, alright. I got you." He says, sighing. "But at least the President had fun."

"Milly always have fun with our disgrace." I say, closing my eyes and sighing. "I am just glad that no one else saw that disaster."

"You are a drama king, you know?" Suzaku says, smiling.

"I am just glad I am not a drama queen." I say, just when we get by the hangar and I notice that Lloyd is talking with someone. "Who…?"

Then I see who it is, making my stomach move like there are a thousand butterflies inside of it. I see as the newcomer gets up and come at us, already in a Knightmare's pilot suit.

"How are you, Rai?" Oldrin asks me, wearing a suit that reveals too much of her body, looking more of a swimsuit than something to pilot Knightmares.

"What… what are you doing here?" I ask, looking at her face, blushing a little at her appearance.

"Well, Princess Marrybell asked me to create some prototypes for her unit of counterterrorism, so Oldrin here will stay with us for a while." Cecile says, a little happy.

"What?" I say, looking at the smiling girl.

"While my Knightmare isn't ready for use, I will be assisting the _Camelot_ unit and get used to use more advanced ones." Oldrin says, curving her body to us. "I hope we can get along."

It's not that I still want to get away and avoid her, even if this feeling is still here, a little, but the thought of having her around while I fight is strange. Just thinking about it makes my heart race and swallows some saliva inside of my mouth, but this can't be just from guilty. What is this feeling inside of my chest, making me uneasy around this girl?

"So, which gentleman will show me around?" Oldrin asks, looking at Suzaku and me.

"Rai, show her around the hangar. She will be using the _Sutherland Club_ for now." Lloyd says to me, making my eyes launch a killer look.

"Why me?" I ask, wondering what is the _Sutherland Club_.

"Because you are the one who used to pilot the _Sutherland Club_." Lloyd says, like it is obvious. "Now go."

"Yes…" I say, sighing and moving, Oldrin following me.

So the name of my old _Sutherland_ is _Club_, something I didn't knew for the whole time I used it. Now it makes sense to name my new frame _Lancelot Club_, because it is a new version of an older frame, if you can call the _Lancelot _old.

"Well, this is the _Sutherland Club_, I guess." I say, both of us stopping in front of it. "Any questions?"

"Actually…" Oldrin looks a little embarrassed, putting her arms behind her body and blushing, making my heart race even more. "I was thinking if…"

"If…?" I look at her, as hot and red as her.

"Well, I don't know the Settlement so well… and during the whole time with the Princess, we just moved from school to the bureau, so, could you… show me around?" She gets even more red, turning her back on me so I don't see how red she is.

"You mean… walk around with you?" I ask, my heart dancing inside of my chest. "I guess… I can…"

"Really?" She looks at me, very happy. "Then, would you do it after we finish things around here?"

"Y-Yeah… sure, why not?" I ask, making her happier.

Somehow, the guilt inside of my chest seems to be long gone, but something new replaced it, something that I can't quite describe. It is a warm feeling, good even, but it also makes me nervous when I am around Oldrin. Why this girl still makes me so…

"Rai?" She looks at me, a little worried. "Are you okay?"

My head hurts a lot all of a sudden, making me put my right hand on it, this time recognizing the feeling. It was the same when I first met Oldrin at the airport: a new memory is coming, making me scared of what it will be

* * *

_The breeze passes my body while I am lying down in the field, below the only tree in the whole place. Below its shadow, even the hottest of the days can become quite pleasant when you rest on it, enjoying the silence, the fresh summer wind and the fall of the leaves._

"_So this is where you have holed up!" A female voice can be heard, breaking the peace of the moment. "I've been looking all over for you."_

"_Go away, Rose." I say, without even opening my eyes._

"_You know I can't do that! I am the one supposed to watch over you and make sure you are kept under your schedule, remember?" I hear her approaching me and stopping right at my side. "Frankly, you are a lost case."_

_I open my eyes to find the girl standing right in front of me, blocking the view of the sky I like so much. She is a ten years old girl, just the same age as me, with a blonde hair with twin tails formed by a red and green laces. She has a special characteristic that always calls the attention of everyone when she goes anywhere: her right eye is of a green similar to a emerald, while her left one is red like a ruby, creating a beautiful effect. She wears a blue and white dress fitting to move around with agility, even if it goes at her knees, with sleeves that go to her elbows. It is a very simple piece of clothing, but she looks really good on it, even is she doesn't has a grown up body._

"_What difference will it make? I am a half-breed, so no matter how hard I study and make an effort; everyone will always turn me down somehow." I say, closing my eyes once more._

"_That's one more reason! You need to show them that, no matter how bad they treat you, you will still get up and show them how things are done." She says, trying to motivate me._

"_I think is useless, so I've decided to just stop making any effort at all."_

"_So you leave me no choice…" She says, sighing._

_She starts to pass her fingers on the sides of my belly, making me laugh without any control over my body. She keeps doing it until I manage to grab her arms and we roll over a little, with her ending up over me, our bodies touching each other and our faces so close to each other that I can feel her breath right in my face and the sweet fragrance coming over from her._

_I don't think about it, telling the truth, but I get my lips closer to hers and they end up touching, making it my first kiss. It is fast, no more than two seconds, but it already makes my heart race like a horse and my body hot like an oven. After we get separate, the silence takes the scene, both of us making no move until she gets her lips closer to me and we kiss again, this time more intensely. I put my hands on her back and she grabs my head with hers, both os us staying like this lfor what seemed to be an eternity._

"_Idiot…" She says, after we get separate and sit at each other's side. "Making something like this out of the blue…"_

"_Well, you can't say you didn't enjoyed it, can't you? You are the one who gave me the second kiss…"_

"_I know!" She gets up, really red with all of this. "Listen, let's make a deal: you follow your schedule correctly and… we can k-keep kiss… doing what we just did later, okay?"_

"_Wait, what?" I look at her, as red as her. "Are you… sure it is okay?"_

"_Yes… but if you don't want it…" She looks away, looking like steam is coming out of her ears._

"_No, I… I would like it very much…" I smile at her, imagining the scene._

"_O-Okay then… let's get back…" She starts to walk with me at her side._

_After a while, I move my left hand just a little and grab her hand, incredibly red and hot with the action. Instead of getting it away from me, she strengthen the grasp and I feel how warm and good the sensation is. So, are we a… couple after today?_

* * *

_What is Father thinking this time? I look around, feeling an outcast as I look at all the other nobles in the hall of our manor, here to celebrate the birthday of one of my despicable older brothers. According to Father, thirteen is the age that all the noble boys need to show themselves to society, so he made me come to this thing, even thought my brother and I are not in good terms._

"_Don't make such a face: you will end up an old man before the time." Rose sweet voice comes at me._

_Unlike three years ago, she is now quite developed with her body, leaving the child's air and getting a more mature face and body, with her breasts getting a good size. We have been doing things like that, way back in the field, for the last three years, but in secret, since Rose is just a servant while I am a noble, even if a half-breed._

_Ever since I remember to live, Rose was there for me, taking care of me and making sure that I don't just keep doing anything during the whole day. According to Mother, her mother died and mine picked up her to serve as my companion while I was growing up. There wasn't even a single day that I haven't spent at her side, so it is not so strange to think that we ended up in love with each other._

_She is wearing very refined clothes: a red and golden dress with the skirt going to the floor with a lace at her hip. It is also sleeveless, with big red gloves that almost get to her shoulders, and has a red ruby at her neck, to combine with her left eye. Earring adorned with green stones complete the set, making her extremely beautiful and getting myself red._

"_I was thinking how bad it is to have to come here, but now I am not thinking about it anymore." I say, giving her a smile._

"_I-Idiot!" She says, looking away and getting red. "The Lady made me come like this!"_

"_Mother?" I imagine if Mother has noticed about us. "Well, she does have a good taste."_

"_W-Well… I am glad that you liked…" She gives a faint smile, making me very happy._

"_So, why don't we dance?" She looks surprised at me. "It's one of the only times we will be able to enjoy ourselves a little more in front of other people, so…"_

"_I know." She gets red and looks at the floor, but she smiles as well. "And I accept your request, your Highness."_

_After we start it, it's like all the people in the place just vanish and I can only see the one right in front of me, spinning around with my body. We aren't bad dancers, since she was always the one that practiced with me during these years taking classes, so we know each other's bodies very well (it helps that we have sessions of kissing once in a while)._

_When the music is finished, we keep looking at each other for some moments before separating ourselves. I look at her eyes, her dreamy eyes and wonder what would happen if I were to kiss her right here and right now. I can tell one thing for sure, even if all of my life is a lie: I love Rose from the botton of my soul._

* * *

_Rose has been acting strangely lately, like she is hiding something from me, something entirely new to me, since we never had secrets to each other. She has also stopped going to our secret meetings at night, giving no answer to the reason when I ask her about it or giving evasive answers._

_I also noticed that she has lost weight, and a lot of it, on top of it, making her thinner and thinner. I know that there is something wrong with her, but she isn't telling me, so I decided to find out by myself._

_I followed her around during the whole day while she was doing her duties, even those who aren't hers, probably in an attempt to avoid me. After the night came, she put a hooded cape and went to a little forest in our property, walking through it like she knew exactly where she was going. I follow her, trying to not make a single sound while doing so, even if I hate myself from not trusting her._

"_So the whore came." A man's voice can be heard from the dark._

_Rose gets scared and turns to where the sound came, seeing two other boys around the same age as us, fifteen, with an older one leading them. The older one seems like he is seventeen and has a nasty look in his face, making Rose go away from him._

"_So, ready for today's lessons? You enjoyed yourself a lot last time, didn't you?" The leader laughs at this words._

"_Please… don't rip my clothes this…" Before she can finish, the leader goes ahead and destroys the cape she was wearing, scaring her._

"_Like this?" He laughs, maniacally. "Then, take your clothes yourself and do not make us do it for you."_

_She does as he says, undoing the knots that keep her dress tied on the back of her neck, making her dress goes to her feet, giving me a vision that almost gets my food out of my stomach. She has several scratches all over her body and purple spots in others, making me sick even more when I notice that, on her breasts, there are the marks of teeth._

_Her body is not strange to me, since we see each other without clothes since we were kids, and we kept doing it until today. She even allowed me to touch her breasts once, but she never allowed me to go further, because she said that she would like to wait, so I respected her decision. For her to have such things all over her body…_

"_Remember: don't cover yourself in any way or we will punish you." The leader says, picking her right breast in his hand, making Rose shake. "Oh! Have you enjoyed this, your bitch?"_

"_Please… stop this…" She says, scared._

"_Oh, but we won't stop it never, my dear. You belong to me now!" He says, while the other move ahead and start to touch her body as well. ""And you know what we will do if you tell anyone: your little puny Lord will know what a dirty slut you are."_

_I pick up a rock, big enough to crush a head but small enough to allow me to throw it, and aim at the head of the leader. I have had enough of this sickness and I won't allow it any further, so I will end them myself, since coming back for help would take too long._

_I throw it at the older bastard, but one of his minions moved and entered in the way, so he ends up dead instead of the other. I move from my point, making sure that they won't find me if they look at the place._

"_Who is there?!" His trembling voice makes me satisfied. "Show yourself!"_

_Father once told me that a man should have honor, but he should always play smart and not dumb, which means that I should forget honor once in a while. I find another position and I break a branch from a tree, making a huge noise and scaring the molesters._

"_You! Go check!" The leader says, as the other guy picks up a knife and goes to where I was a minute ago._

_Moving quietly, I go behind him and I grab him from his neck, using my arm to prevent him from breathing. He tries to get me with the knife, but it is too short to reach me, so the guy struggles to death with me, his movements slowing down. I grab his knife from the dead body and tie it up to a long and resistant branch, moving to a place where the leader won't see me._

_Running in his direction with the branch with the knife at the tip, an improvised lance, the leader moves in my direction a second too late. I feel the knife entering the flesh, but the bastard manage to avoid a mortal wound, so he grabs the branch from my hands, leaving me defenseless against a guy two years older than me._

"_I will kill you, your son of a bitch!" He says, taking the knife out of his side while Rose grabs a very big boulder from the floor. "I will…"_

_Before he can finish his sentence, Rose hits his head with it, making he falls and ending up landing his neck exactly on the knife that he dropped. He fights to breath while blood comes out of his mouth and throat, standing his arm to Rose, who looks at him in horror._

"_Rose!" I say, running at them while the guy bleeds to his death. "Are you…"_

"_Don't touch me!" She says, falling to the floor and covering her body. "Please… never again touch me…"_

"_Rose…" I say, looking at the tears coming out of her eyes. "Why…?"_

"_Because… I am filthy now…" She says, crying in a way that I never saw her do before. "I can't… be with you…"_

"_But you did nothing wrong!" I say, looking at her with desperate eyes. "These are the bastards who…"_

"_I know! But…" She cries and sobs a lot more. "Even so… even so…"_

_I don't answer, just get down and put her between my own arms, making her so shocked that she stops crying. After a time she hugs me back, screaming with all the despair she kept hidden inside of her chest from the time she was used by those monsters._

"_Why you didn't told me?" I ask, hen she calms down a little._

"_Because… I thought you wouldn't want to stay with me again…"_

"_You with those negative thoughts again." I say, touching his forehead with mine. "I will always want to be with you, Rose!"_

"_I.." She looks at me with tearful eyes._

"_You are the reason why I get up in the morning, the reason why I breath and the reason why I kept doing my best to become a man worth of you." I look right at her eyes of different colors. "I love you, Rose."_

"_I… I… I…" She says, her eyes filled with joy and sorrow at the same time. "I love you too! I can't… I can't imagine a day without you at my side!"_

* * *

"_Rose, would you accept me as your legitimate husband, no matter what may happen in the future?" I ask, our hands on top of each other in the pillow._

"_I thought we were already married, but without the knowledge of the others." She smiles, sitting at the bed and showing her breasts to me._

"_Is this a yes?" I ask, smiling at her._

"_Of course it is a yes!" She hugs me, happy. "And now no one will say anything now that you are the King!"_

_An year has passed since that night when I saved her from the molesters, so much changed. I got the power to protect Rose, Mother and Anne from everything and now I am the legitimate Kind, and those who oppose me are witnesses of my anger._

"_I'm glad that you liked to hear this… your Highness." I say, passing my hand on her face._

"_It's really sad that you became King because your brother committed suicide, but at least you will finally show everyone!" She hugs me, happy._

"_Yeah… I know that it was an unfortunate accident." I say, my right eye itching._

* * *

"Rai, are you alright?" Oldrin sounds nervous when I look at her face, noticing that I have gone on my knees.

"Y-Yeah… I just felt a little dizzy for a moment." I say while getting up under her worried face. "I'm going to be okay."

"Are you sure?" She is not convinced, giving me a look that says it in clear words. "Shouldn't you go to a doctor and check, just to be sure?"

"I am fine!" I say, noticing how her green eyes are similar to the green in Rose's. "I… will be okay by myself. But I think we should leave our recon mission for other day, if it's okay."

"No, it's fine!" She says, like that is the last thing in her mind at the moment. "Take your time."

"Okay… thanks."

**Park**

I am sitting in my usual bench, who seems to be never occupied, no matter when I arrive, with my hands on my face, desperately in need of someone to talk with. Mao is the only one that knows me well enough (and has a mind reading Geass), so I have decided to turn to him, but he is not here now. Now that I think about it, he must probably be with C.C by now, after saving her from the bad man he spoke of.

"Actually, I didn't manage to get her, yet." Mao appears with a smile. "But I am very close to it."

"Hey." I get up while his smile disappears.

"Oh man…" He sits in the bench after I sit again. "Your head normally is a mess, but today it is a special kind."

("Tell me about it!") I think, releasing a big sigh. ("Now, on top of everything, I apparently am married.")

"That you don't know: something might have happened before you could conclude it." Mao says, looking at me serious. "There's no proof that Rose is alive."

"But what if she is?" I ask him, to exasperate to use my mind. "Then what?"

"Then… you will have a strange love triangle in your life." Mao says, clapping his hands a little.

"What do you mean?" I ask him, already aware of the answer.

"Do I really need to tell you what you have just thought?" He claps his hands again. "Looks like Eros made another victim."

Could it be that… I am starting to like Oldrin Zevon? If that is true, then it will be the strangest felling in the world to be around her, since I am the one who killed her parents. But, on top of that, I apparently had, or still have, a relationship with this Rose, who I apparently spent my life with. If she is alive, where could she be?

Another thing: am I a King? How is that even possible to happen when I saw memories of myself assassinating people? And if I was a King, what was the kingdom that I ruled and what happened with it? How long ago these memories happened and how on Earth am I so young?

"For that strange youngness, there is a possibility." Mao says, thinking about something. "Remember when I said that I would tell you one day how I got my Geass?"

"Yes, I do."

"Well… to get a Geass, it is necessary to make a contract with someone who can grant the power." Mao says, serious. "And those people are Immortal, not able to get older or die."

"Do you think that I…?" I ask him, but he negates with his head.

"They can't use Geass themselves, unlike you." This makes my head messier. "I have no idea how you can be so young while remembering things that happened so long ago, but it must be because of something related to the Immortals."

I sigh and, once again, we end up going for a pizza at the same place, getting the same pizza as always. But I am too depressed to enjoy it, so I leave it mostly to Mao, who devours it.

"I wish I could help you more." Mao says, as we leave the place. "But I will try something else to get C.C back."

"What exactly happened today?" I ask, curious about it.

"I got the help of someone else to get C.C back, but the other person messed up really big." He gets angry by the end. "But today I will finally be reunited with C.C and everything will be perfect!"

"I can help, if you want." I say, sincerely offering my help. "It would be a relief from what I have to do every day."

"Thanks, but I can't let you get tangled in my problems." Mao puts his hand in my shoulder. "Maybe, if we see each other again after today, you and I can spent more quality time together."

"Thanks Mao." I say, smiling. "You are a good friend."

"You too." Mao says, smiling and getting in his way.

**Rai's Room**

I finish my work for the Army and for the Council, so now all I have to do is to try to solve the mystery my life is, a very funny thing, believe me (he says with sarcasm). I just put my face on the pillow, trying to remember something else, but I just end up with a headache.

That's when my cell phone rings, so I need to get up and grab it, which is at the other side of the room (I hate when I leave it there and I have to get up from the bed). I pick it up and I see that it is a number I never saw before, making me wonder who it is.

"Hello?" I answer, waiting for someone to speak on the other side.

"Hey… Rai…" I recognize Mao's voice, who is very weak. "Could you… call an ambulance… to Clovisland…?"

"What?" I notice how weak he sounds. "What is going on?"

"I… am bleeding… a lot, so… could you just… call it…?" He says, before he goes silent.

"MAO!"

**Central Hospital**

"Mister… Hodges, right?" A nurse appears in front of me.

"Yes?" I get up from the bench I was in, worried. "How is he?"

"Your friend seems to be stable for now and he should wake up by tomorrow." She says, making me relax a lot. "But he will need some time to fully recover."

"Thanks." I say, relief filling my body. "That's good."

"Do you know why he was shot that much?" The nurse asks me, inquiring about the several bullets that were found in his body.

"No, I… only know that he called me and asked for an ambulance." I say, passing my hand in my hair. "I didn't even knew he would be at the place."

"Well, he is going to be fine now. I have your phone number, so the hospital will call you if something happens, alright?" The nurse gives me a reassuring smile. "You can go home now."

"Yes… thanks." I say, before leaving.

What the Hell happened? How did Mao ended up filled with holes like that and what was he doing at Clovisland? Could it be that he ended up like that for going after C.C and the person holding her did it to him? If that is the truth…

**Ashford Academy**

I climb some stairs of the school, wondering about what happened to Mao when I see Suzaku and Lelouch discussing, both looking worried about something. When they see me, Lelouch silences, but Suzaku comes in my direction.

"Rai, have you seen Nunnaly with someone?" He asks, really nervous.

"Nunnaly? No, why?" I notice how they share a worried look. "What happened?"

"Well…" Lelouch says, trying to find an answer.

"Lelouch, we can trust Rai here." Suzaku says, looking at his friend.

"Are you sure?" Lelouch still looks uncertain about it, but he seems to trust Suzaku. "Alright."

"Nunnaly was kidnapped by someone." Suzaku says, surprising me.

"What? Why someone would kidnap her?" I ask them, worried.

"Rai, what I am about to tell you is my biggest secret, okay?" Lelouch looks in my eyes. "Nunnaly and I… we are children of the Emperor."

"What?" I am shocked by this. "You are… a prince?"

"Yeah… and I am not telling you a lie!" He says, looking at my eyes.

"I believe you." I say, serious. "And why are you here, at Ashford?"

"Everyone think we are dead, and I would prefer we remain like that." He says, ending the matter. "That's why we can't turn the situation to the police or the Army."

"That's why you hide every time Marrybell is around?" I ask him, finally understanding his whole situation. "Because you feared that she might recognize you."

"Yes, you are right." Lelouch says, getting more serious. "And now I fear that this might be the reason why Nunnaly was kidnapped, so we must find her quickly."

I join them in their search, moving around the school, trying to find the girl and who got her, who are still at the school, according to Lelouch, at least. After some time, we end up going to the underground below the school, where we find a machine gun attached at the ceiling in a corridor. Suzaku destroys it quite quickly, so we keep moving until we find Nunnaly tied with a large thing swing above her.

"I will get her out of there!" Suzaku says, but Lelouch stops him from doing so.

"There's a bomb attached to her!" Lelouch says, alarmed. "If you don't deactivate the bomb before taking her out, it will kill her!"

"Then we need to…" Everyone jumps when my cell phone rings, so I answer it quickly. "Hello?"

"Hum… Mr. Hodges? Here is the Central Hospital speaking. Do you have a moment?" The person on the other side looks worried.

"What happened?" I ask, getting nervous.

"Looks like the man under our care, the one who you came last night, disappeared from his bed after… killing two nurses." The person sounds nervous.

"What?" I say, stopping in shock.

I hear how Mao got up some hours before and started to yell that he needed to see someone, probably C.C, and that he got up and run away, killing the nurse in charge of him and another one while he ran away from the hospital. They called me after finding out my number in his file, but hours later anyway.

I can't believe that the person really spoke of Mao in the phone, since he never showed any aggressive behavior. But then I remember something that I never cared before: he always had his Geass activated, no matter when we saw each other. Why would he activate his Geass just to read my mind and talk to me, unless he can't deactivate it?

Imagining how it must be for him to hear the thoughts of everyone around him, without any control over it, I can understand why he wears a headset all the time. But something like that must have made some damage on his mind, and only now I am finding out about it.

"Suzaku, I have a plan." Lelouch says, after speaking with someone at the phone. "You will need to use the momentum to cut the wire precisely when it is moving. Rai, call Sayoko and untie Nunnaly while I go and distract the guy."

"Okay!" We both say, doing what he says.

"Are you okay, Nunnaly?" I ask, untying her after Suzaku cuts the rope.

"Rai, wait for Sayoko while I go and help Lelouch!" He says, moving out of the place.

"Rai!" Nunnaly wakes up and hugs me, shaking. "You all came!"

"Yeah, we did. Lelouch and Suzaku are going after…" And then it hits me. "Nunnaly, how was the person who kidnapped you? Not the appearance, but how did he sounded?"

"Well… it was a man, that's for sure. And also…" She thinks for some seconds. "Oh! He claps his hands a lot, sometimes for no apparent reason."

Oh God! Oh my fucking God! Could it be that Mao only got out of the hospital to…? But he would have no reason to do it with Nunnaly, unless he has lost his mind so much that he doesn't recognize reality from insanity anymore. Maybe this C.C never existed or she was never caught by a bad guy.

"Nunnaly, stay here and wait for Sayoko, alright? I need to go and check on your brothers!" I say, running the fastest I can.

I heard that Lelouch was going to the chapel, so I run there as well, knowing that, no matter how intelligent and well prepared Lelouch is, Mao will beat him. For a guy who uses his brain, Mao is the worst kind of enemy, so I must get there and… and what?

Probably no one can manage to keep Mao under arrest for too long, because he has free access to any weakness that anyone may have. He is too dangerous because of this, making him a unavoidable threat to everyone who gets closer to him.

I have to stop him somehow, but my mind has no ideas on how do I achieve that, except by one solution. A permanent one, who will end his threat forever, but I am not sure if I can do it by now, not after everything I have achieved and passed through.

**Chapel**

"That's right! Suzaku killed his own father!" That's what I hear when I enter the chapel, surprising me. "With his own hands!"

After hearing Mao saying this, Suzaku goes to the floor, sustaining his body with his arms while Lelouch scream something. My head suddenly hurts and I swear my luck: now is not the time for a memory to resurface.

* * *

_I am hiding in an adjacent room to the one where my target is, because he is talking with someone at the moment in his room. I activate the special functions in my glasses and I see beyond the doors in front of me, looking at a child's spectrum and an adult. I can perfectly hear what they are saying on the other side._

"_If we keep fighting, a lot of people will die, father!" The child says, desperate. "We need to…"_

"_You must stop telling me what to do!" The adult says, angry with the infant one. "We will not surrender, even if we must fight to the last Japanese alive!"_

"_You are a monster who is too proud to just admit that you lost!" The child says, right before the adult slaps his face._

"_You insolent brat! No matter what you may think, I am still your father!" He says, while the children picks something from somewhere inside her clothes._

_The child screams and run to the adult, an object more or less ten centimeters long in his hands, and they hit their bodies. After this, the children goes back and stops there, the glasses can't tell his expression, so I don't know what he is doing. The child runs away while the adult gets up, complaining how his son is a shame to Japan._

_I enter the room and I find Genbu Kururugi standing there, a knife in his bloody hands, who were cut when the child run at him, but not causing any real injury. The child must have run when he saw the blood, thinking he hit the adult, his father._

"_Who are you?" Genbu says, looking at me._

_I move ahead to him, making him raise the knife, which I take from his hurt hands, using it to insert it right in his stomach. The man goes to his knees and then falls on his right side, looking at me with surprise. After some time he stops breathing and his hands stop holding the knife stuck in his belly._

_A clean and fast death, with no traces of my participation: the child may get all the blame for it, since no one saw me here. I move around, getting out of the building, knowing that now Japan will surely surrender without his leader, falling under Britannia command._

* * *

"Rai, stop him!" Lelouch screams when Mao runs right at my side.

"Shit!" I say, getting up and running after him.

I open the door and see Mao running away from the place, so I run after him, knowing that badly injured like he is he will never beat me. I decide to use my Geass on him when I get close enough for my voice to reach him.

"Mao!" I say, my right eye experiencing the power that Geass gives. "Stop moving!"

Then he hears it and stops his movements completely, except by the shaking he is having due to the effort to try to move. He knows what I decided to do, and fears what I am going to do. I get close enough and look in his eyes, noticing how scared he is.

"I am sorry, Mao." I say, sadness filling my voice. "I should have noticed earlier how bad it was for you and helped you instead of just talking about my problems with you…"

"Hum…" He doesn't speak anything, probably because he can't move his mouth as well.

"I really want you to know that I will only do it because is the only way to prevent you from hurting people and the only way for you to rest in peace." I grab his head, knowing scarily too well what I am about to do, while tears appear on my eyes. "I really enjoyed our time together.

The sound of snapping in his neck is too terrible to hear.


	9. Chapter 9

9: The Feelings

**Rai's Room**

"Rai, are you in there? The president told me to get you out of this hole." Oldrin Zevon, the last person I want to see at the moment, knocks the door.

Ever since I… dealt with Mao yesterday, I have entered my own room and decided to not leave until I figure out what am I going to do now. There is an undeniable truth, one that I won't be able to forget now that I have seen it, as ugly as it is.

I have killed Genbu Kururugi, Suzaku's father.

I remembered it when Mao used the guilty Suzaku feels about thinking that he was the one who killed his own father against him. Now I am the one who is dealing with the guilty, just after I was way past the Oldrin thing. And let's not forget about Rose, the woman who I apparently loved before, but I have no idea on the when and if she is even alive.

The thing about those memories is that they look like something that I watch from a screen, not something that I have lived myself. But the ones with Rose are different: I felt that love for her, the sensation of her skin, her smell of flowers and the feeling when our lips touched. With the assassination ones, all I fell is that I was a robot, a cruel and merciless robot whose only reason to exist is to complete the mission.

How have I fall so hard in my past live? I was a King, apparently, with a beautiful woman at my side, so how someone like that becomes an ageless assassin? And who are the masters that I always seem to think about, but never really saw?

Too many questions without answers at the moment, together with my other issue with Mao. I trusted him, shared my secrets with him and he ends up to be an insane guy who kills and kidnap people, using their weaknesses to hurt them in the way. Killing him wasn't just to prevent him from hurting anyone again, but also a gesture of kindness to him, so he may be in peace once more.

I got rid of his body by burying him in a ghetto, not a very good end, but at least there he will be able to rest without people giving a second look, with so many graves around the place. It was really hard to see him go, especially by my own hands, but I know that he must be in a better place by now.

I killed once more, even if I promised myself that I would never do it again, even if it was a special case with Mao. I wonder if I cannot change from what I apparently am: a killer without a heart. This makes me filled with sorrow, because that means that I cannot stay with everyone, since I don't know if I can keep myself from killing from too long before…

"Rai, I swear that I will kick this door until it breaks if you don't open it now! And I don't care how much I will have to pay for it! I am a noble, remember?" Oldrin says, with all the strength of her lungs.

Without any option (and not wanting to explain to Milly how the door was destroyed), I went ahead and opened it, letting her enter the room. She enters angry, but she softens a lot when she sees my face, noticing that something is wrong.

"What happened? Everyone is worried because you didn't showed up earlier at school and even at _Camelot_." She says, giving me a worried look. "And why are you locked up in your room without the light turned on?"

"I… think I am just depressed, because…" I try to think on a reason why I would be depressed. "A friend of mine passed away yesterday."

She makes a sad face before entering the room, closing the door behind her. We sit both at the bed and she just looks at me, unsure on what she should say to me in this situation. In the end, she starts to pass her hand on my hair, like I am some cat.

"What… are you doing?" I ask, trying to understand it.

"Well… one of my friends always does this when I am sad about something… I just thought it might work here as well." She says, giving the left shoulder while continuing to pass the hand in my hair with the right hand.

"You are a strange person." I say, closing my eyes and enjoying the feeling. "But I am afraid that isn't going to work so well."

"I see…" Oldrin takes her hand and I notice that she is sitting on her knees in my bed. "Rai, have you cried?"

"What?" I look at her, caught by surprise.

"I asked if you have cried because of that death." She asks, the loss of light making it impossible to see her face. "For your friend."

"Yeah… I guess you can say I cried…" I say, remembering the moment when I broke his neck with my own hands.

"Because it's very bad to just keep it inside of you without releasing the sadness." She looks away from me. "When… when my parents died… I cried for three whole days."

That caught me by surprise, her talking about her parents. I know how they died: her father died with a knife in his throat and her mother was exploded by me, the person sent to recover something from a vault. Hearing about those two makes me even more depressed, so I can't control myself when the tears start to flow freely.

"Oldrin… do you know how they died?" I ask, knowing that the memories might haunt her as much as they haunt me.

"Yes, I do. They were murdered by someone… right in front of me." She says, her tone changing to a sadder one. "I… I was covered by some of my mother's blood right after…"

"It's okay!" I say, trying to make her stop remembering such a painful thing. "You don't have to tell me anything."

"No, I… want to tell you this!" She says, sounding decided by her resolution. "Somehow… I want to share this with you."

"Oldrin…" I say, feeling something that I recognize: it's the same that I felt with Rose, back in my memories.

"I saw all of it when… it happened. It haunts me until today, with nightmares constantly happening." Her voice is filled with sorrow as she keeps going. "Even if I was so little, I… still remember it, more than even my parents."

"Oldrin, I…" I can't tell her! I am not able to form the words with my mouth.

"Sorry." She cleans the tears from her face in the dark. "I came to see how you were doing and I end up saying more depressing…"

Before she can end, I hug her out of nowhere, in a poor attempt to comfort her. I know I should not do it or even stay at her side, but I do anyway, aware of her perfume and body heat. She smells of strawberries and her hair is soft, just like… Rose. Could it be that my feelings come from a phantom of the ones for Rose, or am I truly developing feelings for this girl?

She starts to cry more, hugging me back as we keep embraced, feeling each other's bodies. How could I get feelings for her so fast after finding out about what I did in the past, one of my many sins? Now she tells me how much damage I did and I am the one comforting her, the murderer who took her parents from her.

* * *

I wake up feeling something over a great part of my body, something who is breathing. Opening my eyes, I see Oldrin there, sleeping right over me, still wearing her school uniform. I remember we talked a little after she opened up with me but then I must have fallen asleep, with her apparently doing the same.

I look over at the watch and I notice that it is already two o'clock in the morning, so we have slept for six hours, at least. I look over at her, my eyes pretty used to the darkness already, so I notice how in peace she looks, after the hurricane of emotions she passed earlier. I pass my hand over her hair, feeling how she looks perfect and how strange it is to feels like that.

"Hum…?" She wakes up, a little of saliva coming out of her mouth. "Where am I…?"

"Look who is awake." I smile, while teasing up her. "Enjoyed your sleep?"

Then she notices where she is, so she gets up pretty fast and sits at the corner of the bed, the farthest she can from me. Then she looks at me, probably very red, knowing how she is.

"Did… did we… slept…?" She can't form the words completely.

"Yeah, but don't worry about it." I say, sitting as well. "We haven't done anything like s…"

"Anyway!" She says, probably not wanting to hear the s-word. "I guess that it is pretty late already…"

"Yes, it is." I say, trying to figure out what she means by that.

"Well… a lady like me can't walk alone so late back to where she lives…"

"I know that." I say, wanting for her to ask me to go there with her.

"Well… then that means that I will have to spend the night here…" She says, covering her face even tough is dark.

"Wait, what?" That caught me by surprise.

"You… don't want it?" She asks me, looking at my face.

"It's… not this, but… how do you plan to… you know, do it?" I say, getting very red myself.

"I could borrow something from you… like a shirt or something… and then…" She silences, unable to continue.

* * *

I can't believe that this is really happening with me! The only thing I had that could fit in Oldrin was one of my school uniform's shirts, so she is putting it in the bathroom while I still try to figure out how did it ended up like this. Of course she could use another of the many rooms in the Clubhouse building, but I said nothing when she proposed her idea, even though I don't think it is that good.

The door opens and she gets back inside the room, wearing only the white shirt and with her legs uncovered (the shirt is long enough to cover them just enough so I can't see… that part). She looks very embarrassed and I see her hair released from the usual red laces she is always using. The door closes and we are left in the dark once more, but the image of her stays in my mind.

At least half an hour passes and I am still trying to sleep, trying my best to not touch Oldrin while in the bed originally made for just one person. I know we have already done it before, but it was natural before, and now it is strange to have a girl in my bed like this. She is also awake on her side, probably thinking the same things I am and wondering if it wouldn't be better to just get one of us to sleep on the floor.

Just then, she moves and grabs my hand, making my body revive a moment from the past: the first time I hold Rose's hand when I was ten (apparently ten). I hold it back, thinking how good it is to have someone at your side like that, but at the same time thinking how wrong it is that the person is someone whose life I have destroyed.

Rose is more of a ghost from the past, while Oldrin is right at my side while I feel her heat so close that I can tell that she must be very red. Maybe Rose is the reason why I got so close to Oldrin in the first place, with the girl at my side making my body remember, but I am surprised to find out that she also has feelings for me, something a little strange to think.

After some time she seems to have joined enough courage to move closer to me and she hugs my arm, her breasts touching them and making my heart race even more. I look at her and, even in the dark, I notice that she is blushing from doing it, so I smile and pass my other hand over her head, the same way she did earlier.

"Thanks, Oldrin." I say, totally sincere.

"W-Why?" She asks me, surprised.

"For… showing me something that I couldn't see before." I simply say.

Maybe it is true that I have killed in the past, maybe so many people that I can't even count, but now I know that, somewhere along this dark way, I loved. Maybe it is time to forge a new path ahead of me instead of worrying with the one I crossed before, and being with Oldrin made me realize that. I may never be able to tell her about what my past truly is, but I will try to live up with it the best way I can.

It's time to bury the past and live for the future.

* * *

"Rai, are you there? I am entering your room now." I hear a voice that I recognize as Milly's.

"Hum… what?" In say, my mind still slow from the sleep.

That's when my mind decides to remember me that I have a girl sleeping with me in my bed, but it is too late. I hear the door opening and someone entering the place at the same time I get up and sit. Milly just stop on where she is, looking to me and the sleeping girl in the bed at my side.

"I… can explain…" I say, my mind in shock. "There… is a very… good explanation…"

"Well… it's good to see that you are enjoying your school life." Milly says, smiling and giving me a thumb up. "Keep at it!"

"That's… not it…" I say, feeling my forces being drained away.

* * *

Kallen yams as she enters the Black Knights Headquarters to check on how her _Guren_ is after the battle against that white Knightmare of Britannia. The _Guren_ is the only one who can match it in battle, and now there is another one walking around, something that will make Kallen's life a lot harder than it already was.

When she enters the hangar, she notices that there is someone else already training in a simulation: the new recruit from the Black Knights, the pilot of the _Gekka Pre-Production Test Type_, the newest addiction to the Black Knights arsenal.

During the Battle of Narita, this person showed and amazing ability when handling Knightmares, being able to face five _Sutherlands_ with just a _Burai_ (even though the _Burai_ was destroyed in the end). Because of such ability, Zero gave the person the _Gekka_ to pilot, a frame based on the _Guren_ and to be mass produced in the future.

Kallen approaches the blue frame and waits for some minutes for the one inside it to end his simulation. Kallen was impressed by the enthusiasm that he showed up when training and how much effort he is putting into fighting for the Black Knights.

The cockpit opens up and he gets out of it, sweating a little as he goes out of his Knightmare and to the floor. Kallen approaches him and she now has a full view of his appearance.

The boy is just an year younger than Kallen, but he looks a little older than he really is. He has a slightly long but neat black hair and black eyes. His face isn't much masculine, making it easy for people to mistake him for a girl, something that annoys him a lot.

"Hello, Kirigaya-kun." Kallen says using his surname.

"Hello, Kozuki-sempai." He says, smiling at her a little.

Kazuto Kirigaya is one of the most promising members of the Black Knights at the moment, with the potential to become an ace just like Kallen. He is a Japanese boy who decided to fight for the Black Knights for personal reasons that he never told anyone.

He entered the Black Knights right after Rai's refusal to enter, choosing the Army instead. Kallen still gets sad by the thought that Rai may one day fight against her, but this feeling is fading more and more by every day that passes. Kazuto is slowly becoming the replacement of Rai in Kallen's heart as her feelings for the silver haired boy disappear.

"So, how are you today?" Kallen asks him, both sitting in a bench to rest a little.

"Me? I am fine, but…" He looks away from her, looking a little sad. "It's just that…"

"What is wrong?" She asks him, a bit worried.

"Well… I never told you the reason why I entered the Black Knights, right?" He looks at her, sounding saddened.

"No, you didn't." She says, trying to figure out more.

"It's because of my sister." He says, looking at Kallen with a serious expression. "One day some Britannian soldiers found her and… they did terrible things to her."

"Oh…" Kallen says, shocked for hearing this.

"Yeah… so, now she can barely stand being on the outside." He says, his hands forming fists. "And I managed to get her out of our place yesterday, but then a couple of them appeared and she freaked out." Kazuto says, looking at the floor.

"I'm sorry to hear this." Kallen says, grabbing his hand.

"And now she is sick because of it." He says, even angrier. "Because of Britannia, my sister can't leave our house and gets sick every time she hears about soldiers."

"You entered the Black Knights to get your revenge?" Kallen asks him, totally able to relate to him.

"No." He looks at her. "To get justice."

* * *

**Student Council Room**

I have my face on the wooden desk, too embarrassed to look directly at Milly after what happened in the morning. Oldrin doesn't know that Milly saw her in my bed and misunderstood everything, so I think it would be better if she doesn't find out about any of it. I can feel Milly's eyes on me, probably thinking about so many wrong things that are far from reality.

"Well, there is something that I would like to announce here." Milly suddenly says, making my heart race as I get my head up and look at her. "It is something of utterly importance."

"What is it, President?" Rivalz says, while playing with Arthur.

"Well, it is something that I've wanted to announce the whole day." She gives me a look, making my whole body sweat. "And now it's the time to do it."

"Then tell it already!" Shirley says, sounding excited and making my chest burn with the speed my heart is beating.

"Alright then!" Milly says, giving me an evil look. "Tomorrow, we part in the Student Council Annual trip!"

Milly, your heartless bastard! My heart almost stopped here because of your tricks and plays, your witch! I sit down again, feeling like I lost at least half of my life due to what she did to me, thinking how good it would be if she were to "disappear".

"And where are we going this year?" Rivalz asks, already excited.

"To a traditional Eleven's Inn, more in the countryside!" Milly says, happy. "There will be a hot spring there."

"Yahooo!" Rivalz says, too excited with the hot springs.

**Countryside**

"And here we are!" Milly says, very happy.

We are at the entrance of a traditional Japanese inn made of wood, something rare since Britannia took over the country. I sigh as we all enter it for our three days stay on it, because I know that the President will have many plans to ruin my life on the inside of the place.

We are given our rooms… or room, to be more precise, because Milly thought it would be very funny and interesting to make everyone share a single large room. The girls are not so animated with the idea of having to share the room with us (I think Nina's hearth can't take it), but I notice that Suzaku and Lelouch are as happy as the girls, with the exception of Milly, of course.

"Let's all get dressed up for the night!" Milly says, picking up some bags that she made us all carry up here. "These are for the boys."

How did we changed our clothes? We had to put a divisor in the middle of the place so no one would be able to see each other while doing it. I notice that Milly brought… Kimonos? I never thought I was going to wear one of those while in Area 11, but I guess that there is a first time for everything.

Mine is of a dark blue color whit white lines all over it, with the same pattern as the rest of the men. However, Lelouch has a black with white stripes, Suzaku a white with blue stripes and Rivalz a light green with white stripes. They aren't so bad, since you can easily move around in those things, something really convenient.

Then we see the girls and my heart races a lot when I see Oldrin: she is wearing a red kimono with one of those large pieces of cloth that go around the stomach in a red color. Her hair is also different: she released it and put a Sakura (Suzaku taught me what they are) flower at her hair, making an amazing effect.

The rest of them are very good as well, even Nina, who you usually don't notice while around the rest of the girls. Milly wears a light blue with some white flowers around it and a purple lace (I really have no idea how those things are called) and her hair in a [[coque]]; Nina wears a dark green with white flowers and a yellow lace, her hair released from anything; Shirley is in a pink one with light blue flowers and her hair in a ponytail; and Kallen is with a yellow one with a red lace, her hair more or less the same as Milly.

"So… what do you think?" Oldrin asks me, looking away in embarrassment.

"You… look pretty good…" I say, blushing like her. "I mean… more than just… good, you know?"

Then she smiles and suddenly I am not looking at her, but at Rose, smiling with those double colored eyes of her. It is just a flash of less than a second, but it makes my head spin the same way as it was a full memory. These flashes are getting more frequent as time goes by, but they still make me dizzy the same way and they seem to be just getting worse.

We ended up not doing much that day, mainly because we were all tired from the travel here, so we hit the beds early. "Beds" isn't exactly what I would call the futons that were given to us, but I can't complain of them so much. After a while, everyone falls asleep and then I try it as well, but I kind of fear that I may slip in more memories if I do it.

* * *

_I go to the girl's room and I see them under the bed, trying to hide from me, so I have to drag them from inside there. I push one and I see that she can't be more than five before killing her. The other one starts to punch me to try to save her sister, but she cries when she stops moving._

_The little one goes on and push the older one, like she is trying to wake her up, crying and screaming for her. No one will hear her, except by the guards under my Geass command, so I have no need to hurry. I point the gun to the girl's head, but she doesn't move from where she is._

_I look at her terrified eyes and I see myself on them, my black mask looking back at me. I point my gun to her, getting close enough to the shot is nothing less than fatal._

_I pull the trigger._

_But the gun is empty, so all that happens is the sound of clicking from the trigger trying to ignite something that isn't there. The girl notices that I can''t fire and starts to run away from me, but I grab her tiny arm and send her flying into a wall. After she gets up, her little legs shaking with fear and something I found now: anger, I notice that the expression on her eyes is different now: instead of fear, I see hate in her blue eyes._

"_DIE!" She yells, a tiny glow appearing at her eyes._

"_Could it be…?" I ask, right before a shadow appears behind the girl and takes the form of a lion._

_The lion then moves in my direction, but ignores the girl, showing his large fangs at me while I roll backyard to avoid being eaten alive by it. What kind of power is that, one that allows the person to create something alive from nothing…?_

_That's when I understand: it is not a lion that is attacking me, so I run at the girl, ignoring the beast as I pass by it like it was a mirage. I grab the girl by her neck and press a specific point on it, making the girl sleep. After she sleeps, the lion disappears, because the one who created the illusion is not focusing on it anymore._

_That was, without a doubt, a Geass, but not one made of a contract. This one is a potential of a Geass and, by the looks of it, a very powerful one, since it is able to create such things without the full power or control. I grab the girl and I carry her out of the ship, because my masters will be pleased by acquiring someone like her._

* * *

_I am on a room that was prepared for me in order to heal from the broken arm that I got when I jumped from that window in the mansion of the Zevons. That's when someone enters the room and I notice a girl wearing the white clothes that all the children that train to become like me wear._

"_Big Brother!" She says, jumping right at me, landing in my hurt arm._

"_Stop this!" I say, pushing her away with my good arm. "What do you want?"_

"_Oh… you are offending me!" She says, getting saddened. "Don't you recognize your little sister, Alice?"_

_She has blonde hair and yellow eyes, her face shaped like an egg and a little slender for a five years old kid, but aside all that, she looks like a normal girl from the many the masters keep around. I have no idea why, but she seems to have recognized me from somewhere before, even though I can't say the same._

"_No, I don't." I say, putting my arm in front of my eyes, covering them. "Now leave me alone, would you?"_

"_Haaa… but I want to stay with you! At least until you go away to where you go between missions!" She says, getting mad, biting her lips._

"_How do you know about that?" I ask, looking at her._

"_The masters told me that, when you are not on a mission, you go to somewhere to rest and that I couldn't see you during this time!" She says, looking at me._

"_If the masters have told you that, then it is okay." I say, giving her a look. "You can stay, but keep quiet, would you?"_

* * *

_I watch as the young kids, all around ten years old, practice with a handgun at moving targets. Most of them can hit with extreme accuracy already, but they do it to make sure that the apprentices never forget their training. After a while, the girl the masters warned me about comes at me: Alice._

"_Did you saw how good I am, brother?" She asks, proud of herself._

_The masters have warned me that, even if I do not remember that girl, I should act like I do, in order to make her more comfortable. I should also act as her older brother, because she seems to think of me as it, even though we do not share the same blood._

"_You were really well, Alice." I say, giving her a smile who is nothing but well faked._

"_Really?" She smiles a lot, happy with herself. "Then, can I ask you something?"_

"_Yes, of course." I say, keeping the fake smile._

"_Can you come on my birthday? I know you have to rest between your missions, but I would really like to have you around!" She says, her eyes glowing._

"_I… will do my best to make that happen." I say, aware that her wish will never be granted, unless the masters allow it._

"_Thank you!" She hugs me and I hug her back, but there is no feeling on the act, at least by my part._

* * *

"_Keep your arms down!" I say, taking the knife out of the young Orpheus's hands once more. "And keep your hands firm while holding it!"_

"_Yes, sir…" He says, taking it back from my hand._

"_Forget about it, Orpheus. You will never defeat the Big Brother like that." Alice, the one I was warned to act like her brother, says, smiling at the defeated boy. "No one can beat him."_

_I smile at the fifteen years old girl, like the good soldier I am: always following the orders of my masters, even if I must pretend to be something I am not. I have no idea of who that girl is or how we met, but I know the reason why I don't know her, to the very least._

"_Oh, that reminds me, Big Brother." The girl picks up something from her back. "A present for you!"_

"_For me?" I say, picking it up with curiosity. "Thanks."_

_I open it up and I see a golden necklace with one of those cases where you can put pictures. Opening it, I see a picture of Alice smiling at me, forming a v with her right hand. I smile a little at it, but it has no real meaning to me._

* * *

_I look at the case in my necklace and at the smiling blonde girl, wondering who she really is. The masters have instructed me to pretend to be her brother, but they seem unaware of this jewel, since they didn't mentioned it. I wonder why I found it with me when I looked into my things, something that should bring any improvement to the mission._

_For me to have kept it, it must be of some importance, so I have put it in my neck, walking around with it. My instincts also tell me to not show it to the masters, even if I should give them total obedience._

"_Hey, Big Brother!" Alice appears, older than in the picture, around her seventeens. "Coming back from a mission?"_

"_No, I am heading for one. You?"_

"_I've just came back!" She says, proud. "I ended my target before he could even blink!"_

"_That's good, Alice." I say, my heart accelerating a little by the name._

_There is something… weird here, when I look at this girl, I feel some kind of sadness that I cannot quite explain, but it is there, without a doubt. But together with sadness, there is… guilt, like I did some wrong to her before._

"_Alright then: good luck, Big Brother!" She says, kissing my cheek and walking away._

"_Yeah…" I look at her back, feeling strange._

* * *

I wake up and stare at the ceiling, feeling my chest empty with what I just found out. Could it be that this isn't the first time I have forgotten my memories? But, by what I could get from those memories, I still retained some things from before, but this time I got nothing from before. What made this time be different than the others?

And that girl… she is from the first memory I got back, from the ship, I am sure of it! It relieves me to know that I didn't killed her in the end, but now a new mystery rises: why did she was calling me Big Brother, the one who killed her entire family in front of her eyes? Also, the problem of my age appears once more, since I apparently didn't got older while she just kept getting older.

And who are these masters I always think about, but never really saw? Could it be that they are the ones behind my memories problem? Where are they and how do they keep messing with me like that? So many questions for so few answers, I am afraid.

I get up and leave the room, going for a walk in an attempt to clarify my mind. I walk under the night sky filled with stars, thinking about the meaning of all of those memories and what was I in my past life. I sit in a rock and pass my hands on my face, wondering how much of a mess my life was turned into, before I came to Japan.

"Hi." I hear someone's voice and I recognize it as Oldrin's.

"Hi." I say, as she sits at my side.

"Can I… can I ask you something?"

"Sure." I say, looking at her eyes, who look both worried and sad.

"Who… who is Alice?" I feel my body temperature decreasing.

"Where did you heard that name?" I ask, looking at her green eyes.

"You… were speaking it… just before waking up and going outside…" She looks at the floor, a sad smile appearing on her face. "I guess that I should have expected… that you would have someone already…"

"Alice… I think she may be my sister." I say, still looking at her.

"Oh…" She gets red. "Then…"

"Yes." I say, a single word having more meaning than a whole book.

We stay in silence for a while, but then Oldrin starts to get closer to me, resting her head on my left shoulder, gazing at the stars. After a while, she and I end up looking at each other's faces, so close that I can feel her breath on me. I close my eyes and I feel our lips getting closer and closer…

That's when I see it: Rose making a bouquet of flowers she had just got from the field, smiling at me with that kindness I saw in her before. I put my head away from Oldrin, guilt filling my whole body as the girl opens her eyes in confusion. She must be wondering if she did something wrong.

"Sorry…" I say, closing my eyes before continuing. "I just… can't do it now…"

"I see…" She stares at the ground with a sad expression before getting up. "Excuse me."

I didn't go back to the room on that night.

* * *

"Man… this is really good…" I say, feeling my muscles relaxing with the hot water.

"That's… true…" Lelouch says, also showing a relaxed face.

We are at the hot springs that the inn has, enjoying our last day of the trip before going to bed and back home. Lelouch and I have barely spoken with each other, so I was surprised when he invited me to come to the springs with him. I wonder what he wants to discuss in this place, just the two of us.

"So… why did you called me here?" I ask him, looking at his face.

"Well… it is about my secret… and Nunnaly as well." He says, showing a serious face. "About…"

"Yeah, I know." I say, sighing and looking at him again. "Listen, you don't need to fear anything from me: if it is for you and Nunnaly's safety, I will keep my mouth shut."

"That's not what worries me." He says, smiling at me. "You have earned my full trust on that matter."

Remembering how Lelouch and I have started in a bad way, I am relieved that we are getting along so well now. It is almost comforting to have friends that trust and care about you.

"Then, what is it?" I ask, looking at him, curious.

"It's just… I want to know what happened to the man who kidnapped Nunnaly… since you went after him." He says, giving me an analyzing look.

"You don't need to worry about him anymore." I say, getting deeper in the water. "He will never again hurt you, Nunnaly or anyone else for that matter."

"I see…" He sounds relieved by hearing this. "Then, what about…"

"I am so excited to go in the hot spring!" We hear Shirley's voice by the door.

"What the…" I say, noticing movement on the other side of the door. "What are they doing there?"

"I don't know!" Lelouch gets up, scared. "This is the men's side, isn't it?"

"I am pretty sure that it is…" But they are about to enter the place. "Hurry, hide behind that rock and leave just your nose out of the water!"

By the very second we manage to do that, the door opens and we hear the voices of the girls coming in. How this did happened… that's when I remember that it was Rivalz who showed us the doors and said which side was for the men, but I found his face quite strange at the time. That bastard must have tricked us!

"This is so relaxing!" Kallen says, letting her voice go out louder than usual.

"You can bet that it is…" Milly says, sounding as relieved as the other girl. "Hey Oldrin, what's wrong? You are looking pretty down."

"Hum…? Oh it's nothing." She says, showing that there is something wrong with her. "I am just…"

"Does this involve Rai?" Milly couldn't be more right.

Oldrin didn't even look at my face during these days we have spent in the trip, probably remembering that I refused to kiss her. I know I was really a jerk there, but there is nothing I could do about it at the present situation. Rose is still at my mind, no matter how much I care for Oldrin.

"How…" Oldrin seems very surprised, but then she says, in a sad way. "Yes…"

"Oh… What happened?" Shirley asks, sounding worried.

"It's just… in the first night we came here, he was talking in his sleep about someone… someone called Alice…" Oldrin says, really sad. "And… later that night we… almost kissed after he told me that he thought that she was his sister…"

"What do you mean "almost kissed"?" Milly says, curious.

"He… stopped at the last second and… I run away from him, really sad because I noticed that there must be someone from his past that he loves…" Her voice is like a knife in my heart.

"That's bad…" Milly says, sounding thoughtful. "But did you asked him why he stopped it?"

"Hum… no…" The other girl says, sounding embarrassed. "I just…"

"Assumed that he has someone from his past." Kallen says. "When it could be something totally different."

Yeah, but the problem is that this is more or less the reason why I didn't went with it to the end: because there is someone from the past. But I can't tell Oldrin this, or she might be hurt even more than she already is. The girls keep trying to cheer her up, but for me the conversation is over.

* * *

We watch as the fireworks glow in the night sky, everyone really excited by it, except by me and, I think, Oldrin. I can't take Alice and Rose from my mind now, with all the mystery that I have around my head at the moment. It is not fair with Oldrin that I keep living with ghosts from the past inside my head, but I can move further with the girl without knowing what exactly happened in the past.

I hope that one day I remember my life, even if I do regret what I may find out. A possibility has arisen inside of my head due to Alice's memories: what if my head was being manipulated in some strange way? I have already noticed that before, but when I am an assassin, my feelings and emotions are totally different from the ones when I was with Rose. I can only assume that something happened to make me into that cold-hearted killer, but now is only the matter of finding out what.

I will find out, and once I do it, I will think in a way to find those "masters" and make sure that they pay for, at least, turning children into monsters. That is not the assassin or the King speaking, but just me, Rai Hodges.

This is who I choose to be!

* * *

_**I know most people don't read this part where I send messages, but I just wanted to point something: can anyone tell me what is the reference to Wolverine (yeah, the super hero with claws) that I have been doing?**_


End file.
